Evilspeak

Jeez! What the hell are you doing?

You screwed up for the last time, Cooperdick.

Come on, get the ball!

Nice game, Cooperdick.

Hey, slick. It wasn't your fault, man.

Tell that to them.

It was a good game. Come on.

Cooperdick, you're a bad joke.

We're gonna settle this later, pal.

Why don't you guys leave him alone. Cut it out.

Cut it off, you mean.

I'm trying my hardest out there.

You couldn't play for the March of Dimes, Coopersmith.

Well, I am playing. The coach says I get to play.

The coach?

Coach that.

Knock it off!

Come on girls. This place looks like a shit house.

You got five minutes to shower and get the hell out of here.

Hey Coach, are you really gonna play him against John Paul Jones?

Everybody plays sports here, Bubba.

I guess that's another game we're gonna lose?

Come here, Bubba.

Listen to me.

You know the policy as well as I do.

Everybody plays two out of every four quarters,

now what the hell you expect me to do about that?

Huh?

Now, if something happened to Coopersmith

so he couldn't play...

Hey Slick, you still on extra duty at the chapel?

Yeah, I got to start cleaning that freaking cellar today.

I'll bet you'll be down there all year.

Maybe 'til he graduates.

Hey, Cooperdick, you should really take advantage of visiting day.

Maybe you could get out of your detail.

Big dope.

You have to have a mother and a father.

Coopersmith's are dead.

Oh. Maybe they'll let the lady from the welfare office visit you.

Maybe they'll let her pass as your mother.

Hey.

The way I see it, Mrs. Caldwell, the military's the backbone of this

country, our only hope in preserving this democratic way of life of ours,

good stock and breeding will tell.

There was a time when only the sons of the right families attended

our academy here, but now, due to our financial condition,

we're obliged to take in welfare cases like Coopersmith.

Reverend?

Reverend Jameson?

Reverend?

Reverend Jameson?

What the hell are you doing down here?

I'm on punishment duty, Sir.

Um, well, I came down looking for the Reverend.

I'll just start cleaning out the cellar.

Nobody told me about it.

Well you know, I bet you he forgot.

Nobody knows you're down here, huh?

Coopersmith?

Oh, it's you, Sir.

When I didn't find you upstairs, I came down here and started cleaning

some of this junk, and well then, I ran into the Sarge here.

Sargent, Private Coopersmith is on a punishment detail.

Punishment?

Yes, and I want you to give him a hand.

Why... I don't have enough to do as it is.

Coopersmith here will do all the work.

Okay. Okay.

There's the Reverend.

Pardon my dust. I just come up from the cellar.

I've just been giving Mrs. Caldwell a tour of the grounds.

I've always admired the architecture of your school.

Why, thank you.

But what always intrigued me, is the chapel.

I think the Reverend has a better background of that than I.

He made a study of it.

I was curious about the old building myself,

so I... I started to do a little digging.

Oh, come on.

Come on, guy.

Jesus.

And the founder of the order was a certain Father Esteban.

You see, the actual land that the school sits on,

was given to Esteban in an order of Spanish monks

when they fled the inquisition.

Whoa.

Ahh.

This work...

Oh my God.

Wow.

What a score.

Ugh.

Rumor has it that before being executed,

Esteban vowed to return and extract his revenge.

The signal would manifest itself on these very grounds.

Hmm. How interesting.

Crowbar.

Did you enjoy your tour of the chapel, Mrs. Caldwell?

Oh, I certainly did.

Reverend Jameson was most informative.

Oh, there's Douglas. Douglas.

You have a fine son there, Mrs. Caldwell.

Thank you. Mother's going now.

Give her a kiss.

Oh, Mom.

I hope we have the financial resources to do right by him.

Oh, I'm sure you will, Colonel.

I'll have a talk with the Senator tonight.

He's very big on military causes, especially tax exempt ones.

Nice to have you.

They unplugged my clock.

Damn.

Look at my clothes.

Rise, arise...

get possession of, become master of.

greedy, attack.

You are late, Coopersmith.

I hope you have an unimpeachable excuse.

Your silence pleases me, Coopersmith.

I will consider any excuse unacceptable short of your being

detained from visitors from outer space.

I take it we can rule out extraterrestrial interference?

Yes, sir.

Now, with your permission, I will continue.

Gentlemen, over the next few weeks,

we will be campaigning as Julius Caesar.

We will try to duplicate Caesar's military strategy

as well as read Latin.

The final exam will consist of questions about that strategy

as well as your ability to master Latin grammar and vocabulary.

For your sake, I hope that all of you have become little experts

at conjugation, declension and irregular verbs.

Also, let me emphasize strongly the importance of the model assignment

upon which you are working.

I expect nothing less than perfection in concept and execution.

Remember, this is a military academy.

Any mistake big or small will be dealt with in the most severe terms.

Understood?

You must never forget you're being trained in a military career.

An inferior model will earn you an F in this class.

A word to the wise, Coopersmith.

Dismissed.

Not you, Coopersmith.

This is the second time you have been late this week Coopersmith.

I want you to report to the Colonel's office after your last class.

I do not understand you, Coopersmith.

You have a fine mind... if only you were to apply yourself.

I do try, Sir.

Well, you know my model catapult?

I'm using one of the computers to check my configurations

so it will be really accurate.

Hmm. I hope it is for your sake.

Now, you'd best get out of here or you will be late for your next class.

Yes, Sir.

What's the matter with you Cooperdick?

What's the matter, huh?

Come get your hat.

- What's the matter? - Oh.

Hey! Why don't you guys leave 'em alone?

How would you like to follow his hat?

Break it up.

Come on.

- Good afternoon, men. - Good afternoon, Sir.

Jo Jo, I hope you men are ready for the game on Saturday.

Yes, Sir.

And let's not forget the rally.

We want to have some good fun.

- We wouldn't miss it, Sir. - That's right, Sir.

Coopersmith, where's your hat?

- I lost it. - Well, find it.

The good Lord doesn't want you out of uniform...

and neither do I.

- Good day, men. - Good day, Sir.

Good day, Reverend.

Good of you to come.

Come inside.

And leave your books out here.

I'm disappointed in you, boy.

I could understand if you didn't have what it takes,

but your record shows you have an above average IQ,

and what concerns me is your inability