Top Hat

I beg your pardon.

I beg your pardon.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Good evening, Mr. Hardwick.

Has Mr. Jerry Travers come in yet?

Yes, sir.

He's been waiting for you the entire evening, sir.

The entire evening? Oh, dear, dear.

Thanks.

Begging your pardon, sir,

but is that the Mr. Travers,

the well-known American gentleman, sir?

It is, indeed.

He's come over to star in my show.

It's his first London appearance.

Your show, Mr. Hardwick?

Well, I'm producing it.

I don't want any members here to know.

I want to surprise them.

Oh, I'm sure they'll be surprised, Mr. Hardwick.

Hello, Jerry. I'm sorry I kept you waiting.

Jerry, there are a lot of things to discuss,

so, I want you to come over to my hotel now.

Let's go over there.

Jerry, I forgot to tell you,

I want you to stay here tonight.

- I'm sorry, I can't do it. - Oh, but you must, old man, really.

You see, at th emoment, I'm having a sort of a problem with my valet.

Oh, well, what do you want me to do? Press your pants?

Oh, no, no. You wouldn't know how.

You don't understand. It's my man, Bates.

We've had a bit of a tiff.

Oh, how terrible.

You didn't come to blows or anything?

Nothing like that.

We're not speaking to each other.

We've had a clash... of, of taste.

You see, Bates insists that a square tie

is the only possible tie that can be worn

with evening clothes.

A square tie, imagine.

I prefer the butterfly.

Well, I think Bates is right.

Bates is never right.

Then why don't you fire him?

That's a little difficult.

I'm hoping aginst hope

that the man will just disappear.

Oh, I hate to interfere in these little family squabbles

but let's hope he'll approve of me.

Well, there's never any telling with Bates.

Well, there you are.

If you please?

- Good evening, sir. - Good evening.

Allow us to introduce ourselves, sir.

We are Bates, sir.

Oh, really?

We are Jerry Travers.

Welcome to our menage, sir.

Thank you, Bates, thank you.

It seems that I'm to stay here tonight.

At least, that was the idea of our beloved impresario.

Whose idea?

Mr. Hardwick's.

Oh, his idea.

Well, welcome, anyhow.

Oh, thank you, Bates.

Oh, pardon, sir,

but may we make a personal observation?

Well, not too personal.

Oh, no, sir. It's merely that we feel impelled

to compliment you, sir

upon your excellent taste in ties.

They like me.

You never know.

Where on Earth did you ever find them?

Well, from the salvation army, as a matter of fact.

I sent them a pair of very old shoes.

Oh, I see. And the shoes came back with Bates in them?

And he's been wearing my good ones ever since.

Oh, um, how's Madge feeling?

Oh, she's fine, thanks, Jerry. The climate at the lido has done her good.

Oh, that's fine. It's too bad she won't be here for the opening tomorrow night.

Isn't it? She's heartbroken, really.

However, she's expecting us to fly down to Italy

for a weekend.

Fly down to Italy for a weekend?

Oh, I can't! I haven't got any goggles.

Oh, my word, Jerry. You have to go. She's counting on us.

You see, she's having a young friend visit her

and I suspect there's something in the air.

You know Madge and her matchmaking proclivities.

Whoa. Is she expecting me for a weekend or a wedding?

You can't tell. You know how wives are.

No, I don't. How are they?

Wives? Well, they always have a little scheme.

Look here, young fellow. I think it's about time you found out for yourself.

- Oh, you do, do you? - I certainly do.

No, thanks, Horace.

In me, you see a youth who's completely on the loose...

no yens, no yearnings, no strings, no connections.

Hello? This is Miss Tremont.

I'd like to speak to the manager immediately.

Hello? Are you there? Who? Oh, the manager. Yes?

Well, I can't hear a word you're saying.

There's a young lady downstairs.

Oh, a young lady? At this time of night?

Oh, well, she can't come up here now. No, no, no.

I'd better come down myself.

Jerry, go right ahead.

A young lady downstairs evidently wants to see me.

Aha!

Hello.

Won't you come in?

I'm awful glad you dropped in.

I dropped up from the room below where I'm trying to get some sleep.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I was disturbing you.

You see, every once in a while,

I suddenly find myself dancing.

Oh. I suppose it's some kind of an affliction.

Yes. Yes, it's an affliction.

Um, St. Vitus' dance.

And it only occurs at this time of night?

Yes. It only occurs at this time of night.

As a matter of fact,

I really shouldn't be left alone.

Yes, I can see that.

You probably should have a couple of guards.

Uh, I think you're very unkind to make fun of me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I wish you wouldn't leave.

Why not?

Uh, I think I feel an attack coming on.

You see? There it is.

So I see.

There's only one thing will stop me.

Oh, you must tell me what it is.

My nurses always put their arms around me.

Well, I'll call the house detective, and tell him to put his arms around you.

Goodnight.

Oh, Jerry. What were you doing here?

What are you carrying that for?

Who was the young lady?

What young lady?

Oh, that call wasn't for me, it was for you.

Somebody has registered a complaint.

I know, I know. I've just seen the complaint,

and she's lovely, she's delightful, she's charming,

and she wants to sleep.

Oh, she does?

And I'm going to help her.

And you're going to help me. Take this.

Now, bring it in here and guard it with your life.

What are you going to do?

Okay, what's the idea?

The young lady downstairs wants to sleep.

So you told me.

Well, I've appointed myself her official sandman.

But, Jerry...

what else have you got?

I'm sorry, sir. You've cleaned out the shop.

Well, you better tell them to plant some more for tomorrow.

They're all to go to Miss Dale Tremont, sir?

That's right.

Her room number is 304.

Ah.

What's that?

Oh, that's for the opening of a butcher shop, sir.

Send that up, too.

But, sir, a horseshoe?

Why, yes.

I may want to order a peach orchard tomorrow.

What's the number of your room, sir?

Oh, um, just charge it to Horace Hardwick, room 404.

Yes, sir.

I wonder what Mr. Beddini is going to say about this.

Well, what can he say?

Well, he's been sending her flowers daily since they came here,

and, uh, entre nous,

the desk clerk has intimated

that Mr. Beddini provides miss Tremont

with all the niceties,

including her clothes.

Really?