The Big C

Previously on The Big C...

- Rebecca told you. - You should've told me!

You fucked somebody, so I fucked somebody, too.

- Atticus Sherman. - No chance you could

get me into that clinical trial you're doing?

It's all filled up.

How do you expect to be a decent parent

when you won't even put on a goddamn pair of pants?

- I wanna be better. - Then take the meds, Sean.

I think this cancer might be

affecting him more than he thinks.

It was Dr. Sherman's office.

He added a spot for me in the clinical trial.

Ready?

One, two...

- Don't count. - Right, sorry.

- Ready? - Paul!

- Ow! - Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

I'm just kinda poppin' my injection cherry here.

I promise I will get better at this.

I just can't bring myself

to intentionally puncture myself.

I'd make a crappy heroin addict.

Hey, I wonder if this stuff is gonna

give you the ability to lift fallen trees,

or bend metal bars and stuff.

No, they're not that kind of steroids, Paul.

They prevent side effects.

What is this?

Just a little pleasure to offset the pain.

The Best of Chicago.

- The soundtrack of our love. - Thank you.

Not just for the CD.

But for everything you're doing.

You know, the shots and the setting the appointments

and just always looking out for me.

Hey, I'm your cancierge, remember?

Mm.

I know-- I know we haven't...

You know, done it in a while.

And I--I just hope that's okay.

Of course!

My body's just pretty spent right now.

Oh, honey, don't even think about that.

We have got a full plate right now.

A full plate, you know?

Melanoma with a side of steroids?

- You sure? - Absolutely.

We got this clinical trial coming up

and my work's insane.

Cath, we're not kids anymore.

Trust me, I don't miss it.

Contrary to popular belief,

our country is not a democracy.

Technically, it's a republic.

So I want two pages

from everybody tomorrow

explaining the difference between the two.

And I'm onto your Wikipedia plagiarism.

So be original or find a more clever way to cheat.

Okay, don't freak out.

Andrea, telling people not to freak out

is not a great way to put people at ease.

- What's going on? - My parents got called

by our church to do missionary work...

In Ghana.

We leave next week.

We're gonna spread the word

like the fucking mosquitoes spread malaria.

But it's your senior year!

Tell me about it.

Not only can I not graduate with my class,

but if I finish school there,

I can't get in-state tuition

to go to the University of Minnesota.

It's...good to hear you have your eye on college.

They have this fashion program I was all excited about.

Why haven't I heard of this before?

Maybe I was just trying to keep

a little mystery in our friendship.

I am so sorry.

I--I wish there was something I could do.

It's all right.

I hear it's really easy to get dysentery in Ghana.

Maybe I'll eat some bad goat

and get really skinny

and then come back and get a job as a supermodel.

Now, I hate the pink color in here

and the closet is packed

with misguided late-night purchases.

But... The room is all yours.

I appreciate this, Mrs. Jamison.

Please.

The nice thing about cancer,

if it feels right, you just do it.

I'll make sure my parents build a hut

made out of cow dung in your honor.

I had a really nice chat with your mom.

I promised her I would not let you dye your hair blonde

and that you would keep your grades up.

We've gotta get you into fashion school, young lady.

What do you got in here?

Some of your favorite rocks from home?

Mr. Jamison,

heavy girl has heavy clothes.

It's a joke.

I'm cool with jokes about my weight.

It's the elephant in the room.

- That's a joke too. - Nice one.

I'm gonna go get the rest of your stuff.

So, you're, um-- so your parents were assigned

to some sort of missionary position?

Missionary work in Ghana?

Wow, that's a long way away.

I bet you weren't a big fan of me moving in.

Why would you say that?

Look, there might've been a little bit of hesitation

when it first came up,

but that's only 'cause we got a lot going on here.

You know, doctor's appointments and stuff like that.

Or maybe you didn't want me here 'cause I'm black?

What? That's ridiculous.

Wh-wh-why would you say that?

I'm just fucking with you, Mr. J.

Nice.

Well-played, young Jester.

Good morning, Yin to my Yang.

Ketchup to my mustard.

Hall to your Oates.

Nice.

These are for you.

- Oh! - Honeycrisps.

The old guy down the street told me

I could help myself to his apple tree.

You know, it's amazing what you get when your first reaction

to someone saying "Good morning,"

isn't "Fuck off, asshole."

So the meds are working?

They are.

Maybe they're cutting these new bipolar drugs

with fairy dust or something.

Because I-- I feel fantastic.

It's like I have this incredible ability

to focus on everything.

Best of all, it's like a fog has been lifted

and I am really seeing you.

I'm appreciating you on an entirely new level.

Say more.

I love how your hair

is the perfect shade of honey blonde...

How your eyes reflect the light like a kaleidoscope...

How the contour of your lower back

is like a finely paved expressway to your ass.

Wow!

I was leery about what these meds would do to you,

but if this is the result, I love it.

Mm.

Let me--let me see what else I can discover.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh!

So you had a chance to leave the country,

but instead you chose to serve time

in Jamison State Prison?

And I'm loyal to the warden.

So watch your mouth unless you wanna

catch a shank in the back during yard.

What is all this shit?

You rob a salon or you gonna open one up?

This is my toilette.

The toilet is down the hall,

- next to the "bath-tube." - No, dumb ass.

Toilette is French for the things that I do

to compose the vision of beauty that you see before you.

Heat-style protecting foam?

Oh, yeah, that's for my hair.

Look.

It's got these tiny organisms in it that repair it.

If you look close enough you can see them.

They kinda look like sea monkeys.

Oh, you suck!

You're dead, asshole!

Oh, nice to see you with a smile on your face.

I just love seeing Adam and Andrea get along so well.

Thank you for agreeing to let her move in.

Oh, come on, how could I not?

You made such a compelling argument.

What was it again? Oh, yeah.

- "We're doing this!" - It's good for Adam

to have another kid in the house.

Especially with all this clinical trial stuff going on.

He'll have someone to hang out with,

someone to talk to.

Well, I hope Andrea likes talking about farts.

Here, try this.

This is broccoli, garlic, olive oil, and turmeric.

A superfood perfect storm for health.

Needs more chocolate.

Mm.

Your skin is so smooth.