Young & Hungry

Check me out!

The new uniforms just came in.

Alan made me join the team to work out,

but I am working it.

I still can't believe you're playing on a softball team.

Don't you play with enough soft white balls at home?

A, never.

B, we're not playing this afternoon.

We're a man short. Josh was gonna fill in,

but stupid Gabi took Josh and his dad out

for a picnic to apologize for running over his dad's feet.

Do you realize how selfish you sound?

This is the first time Josh is spending time with his dad.

I'm selfish? What about Josh?

Josh promised to play in my game

and abandoned me to spend time with his dad.

Like father like son.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. How was Josh gonna play anyway?

Isn't it a gay league?

Yeah, but you don't have to be gay to play.

We have a don't ask, don't tell policy.

Hey, you look like a barrel-chested

aging athlete. Can you play?

A, thank you.

B, I can't.

I gotta sell Squirrel Ranger cookies with my group from church,

but if you buy 20 boxes, we can talk.

Done. I'll get you a uniform.

How many "X"s are there in front of you "L"?

I can't believe this. I can't believe you are actually mad at me.

- I am speechless! - Well, that's a first.

I had one chance to bond with my father and you ruined it.

You didn't stop talking the entire picnic.

Yeah, I only talked because I was trying to protect you

from sounding so show-offy.

Show-offy.

How was I show-offy?

How? Oh, okay, let me see. Uh...

blah, blah, blah, my helicopter.

Blah, blah, blah, my vineyard.

Blah, blah, my helicopter to my vineyard.

We get it. You're rich.

Well, excuse me for trying to make my dad proud.

Stop it! Now, you two need to focus on what's important.

It's Squirrel Ranger cookie season!

All right, who wants in? I got Coco-nutties and Little Diddles.

- What is going on out here? - I'll tell you what's going on.

Thanks to her incessant yammering,

my dad had a crappy time at the picnic.

He conveniently remembered he had a business meeting

and he had to leave town early.

Yay!

Now you can play in my game.

Was that selfish? I don't care.

Yay!

You know, you try to be a good person...

you try to bring a father and son together

and then the whole thing blows up in your face

and you get blamed for it.

So you're done butting in?

Yes, I am.

Right after I trick Josh's dad into staying in town

and then take him to Josh's softball game.

We're gonna watch the game. We'll go out for drinks after,

and then I'll sneak out the back and

let them have their father-son moment.

Sounds like a good idea.

What?

Well, obviously the picnic didn't go well

so you want to give Josh and his dad

a chance to try again. I think it's a good move.

W... wait a minute.

You are never on board with my plans, which

makes me feel like I shouldn't do it.

So I'm not gonna do it. I'm staying home.

Okay, whatever you think is best.

Whatever I think is... Oh, no, uh-huh.

I'm on to you, Sofia. You're just using reverse psychology on me

so I'm gonna use reverse, reverse psychology on you,

which means I am going to pick up Josh's dad.

Or should I say I'm not not going to pick him up?

- I said it was a good... - Oh my God, shut up!

I am sick of your negativity!

Can I interest you in some Squirrel Ranger cookies?

Nope, I'm good, er,

but if you ask Sofia, she'll say she doesn't want any,

which means she does.

Ooh, you got any snickerdoodles?

Snicker, please. You know I do.

Ooh! All right.

Since when are you a pack leader for the Squirrel Rangers?

Uh, since I found out that the pack leader

who sells the most cookies wins a cruise to Bora Bora.

Wow, what do the girls get?

Who cares?

I'll be on my cruise,

but not if I don't sell 800 more boxes by this weekend.

Too bad I'm not in your group.

You were a Squirrel Ranger?

Oh, I wasn't "a" Squirrel Ranger.

I was the best Squirrel Ranger in all of Miami.

And if a girl tried to sell cookies on my turf,

Lil' So-So would go Scarface on her ass.

I was the cookie kingpin, chica.

- Really? - Oh, yeah.

When you're nine, cute, and me,

you can sell anything to anybody.

Mm-hmm.

You have any interest in going to Bora Bora?

Hell, yeah, I do.

Okay, here we are.

Nothing better for a father-son bonding softball game

than an ice cold beer in a

carefully concealed sippy cup.

Bases aren't the only thing that are about to get loaded.

I just don't get why Josh wanted me to come to his softball game?

All he talked about at the picnic

was how great he's done in life without me.

Clearly, he's trying to send me a message.

That's why I left early.

I knew it wasn't me.

Look, Gabi, I'm just gonna say it.

I keep having this feeling that Josh knows nothing about this

- and bringing me here was your idea. - W... what?

You think I would risk my relationship with Josh

by interfering in this very fragile father-son relationship?

Well, you did it before when you picked me up at the airport.

Exactly, yes. So what, you think I'd do it again? What am I? A fool?

Matt, Josh felt so bad about what happened before

and he wanted a second chance to connect with you.

So that's why he brought you here. He...

he wanted you to see the real him.

Okay, maybe this was a good idea.

Thank you.

I mean, you know, thank Josh

'cause he's the one who came up with it.

Josh, you're up.

- Oh, stop, quick, turn around. - Why?

Just 'cause.

Looking good.

Why, thank you.

I had the jersey tapered to accentuate my "V."

No, nobody wanna see your "V!"

Good luck, new guy.

I don't need luck.

I'm gonna drive this so deep.

From your lips.

All right, play ball.

This is amazing.

I know.

It's all so clear now. Now I know why Josh wanted me to be here.

It's like you said. He wanted me to see

- the real him. - Yes!

- I am so proud of him. - Yes!

- He was afraid to tell me he was gay. - Yes! Yes!

Wait, what?

All right, that's enough of the butt slaps.

Sorry, boss.

Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh!

Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh!

Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh!

Josh, Josh, Josh!

Hey, I need to talk to you.

- Gabi, what are you doing here? - Well, before I answer that,

I need you to know I only did it because I care about you.

What did you do?

Well, I felt really bad about the picnic,

- so I stopped your dad from leaving... - What?

- and then I brought him here. - What?

Will you stop interrupting me?

When you hit that homer, your dad...

- Josh! - Damn it.

I'm so proud of you.

You are?

Josh, Josh, Josh...

Not now, Gabi. My dad's proud of me.

You were saying, Matt?

Seeing you out here today, buddy, I...

w-what can I say? I'm blown away.

Oh, it's nothin' really.

Been hitting dingers since seventh grade.

I want you to know, pal,

you are so darn courageous.

Bring it in. Oh!

We got so much to talk about. I'm gonna call my office

and cancel all my meetings

because I want to hang out with my son

and hear his whole story.

My dad's proud of me.

All it took was a home run, Gabi. Who knew?

- Huh. - Thank you for bringing him.

Yeah.

Your dad thinks your gay.

What?

Why does my dad think I'm gay?

Well, the whole crowd is,

and the teams are the San Fransisco Bears versus the Field of Queens.

So...

Naturally, he just kind of assumed you were

and then I agreed with him and didn't tell him you weren't.