The Spectacular Spider-Man

Don't like this.

Something's going down.

Tri Corp Dispatch, this is Transport 23.

Tri Corp,

do you... read...?

There you go, Hammerhead.

Job done. Forget the hat.

Put on the suit.

You still owe the Big Man

one Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

Peter, dear. Are you up?

Come on, Mr. Lazy Bones.

Aunt May! I'm-- I'm not decent.

All right, calm down.

There's breakfast waiting downstairs.

I'll be at Mrs. Watson's.

Mm, waffles.

Bills.

Gas, phone, electric.

All past due.

Oh, good, you're up. I've just been visiting with Anna

and her niece, Mary Jane.

A lovely girl.

Peter, you must meet her.

Um, what's she like?

Oh, she has a wonderful personality.

Oh! She's there now.

Why don't we just head over--?

I'd love to, Aunt May,

but I promised Harry I'd help him study,

and I can't miss the bus.

Bye!

I so have to get me some hands free.

What? N-- Nothing.

Just trying to do too much at once.

You mean like selling pictures to the Bugle

instead of helping your friends?

Look, straight up, I blew it.

And I know you're ticked--

Don't go all emo on me, bro.

I-- I'll get over it. Just, uh-- Just back off for a while.

Got it.

And thanks.

Target spotted and target lost.

But he's in the area, boss.

Peter.

Good to see you.

Here to help Harry, huh?

We help each other, Mr. O.

Now, now, Peter,

modesty doesn't become men like us.

Smart, driven, responsible, self-made.

I'm more of a work in progress.

At least you're making progress.

Mind if I check my e-mail?

An e-vite to Midtown High's fall formal.

Which would rock, if either of us had,

what's the word?

A date?

Could probably ask Mary Jane Watson.

Mary-who what-now?

Oh, this girl Aunt May wants me to meet.

Oh, get this: she has "a wonderful personality."

I was thinking about asking Gwen.

Uh-- Just as a friend, you know?

Well, actually, I wouldn't know.

Miss Stacy's currently not speaking to me.

"From the desk of J. Jonah Jameson."

Whoa, p-publisher of the Daily Bugle.

"Mr. Parker, come in ASAP

to claim paycheck for photos of Spider-Man."

Yes!

Dude, sorry, I'll be back in an hour.

Two tops. Promise.

Uh, w-what do I do while you're gone?

Chapters one through six.

Review.

Did a caveman proofread this piece?

Where's my sports editor?

I want him in my office in 14 seconds!

And where's my coffee?

Uh-- Sir? I-- I'm Peter--

I know who you are. You're the know-nothing

who wasted 41 seconds of my time the other day.

Well, I haven't got another 41 to spare.

But-- But-- Brilliant comeback, kid.

Now where's that Parker guy?

I e-mailed him 76 minutes ago.

Won't anybody get me my coffee?

Coffee. Decaf.

It's only been 20 minutes.

And I'm pretty sure you just kicked Peter Parker out.

Well, don't just stand there,

get him back!

Oh, that wasn't too humiliating.

Wait. Oh, my money.

Sorry about that, Parker.

Was expecting someone old enough to have,

you know, armpit hair. Ha-ha.

Now, that costumed freak sells papers,

so I want another set of pics in my hands by deadline.

You got two hours.

Uh, I'll-- I'll do my best, but--

You still here? What do you want, a medal? Get out!

Out!

I'll cut that check for you, Peter.

Thanks, Miss Brant.

I'm Betty. So, Betty,

how do you work for a walking embolism like Jameson?

Mr. Jameson's a decent man down deep.

We talking Marianas Trench deep

or Dante's Ninth Circle deep?

See you soon, Peter Parker.

Yee-ha!

He's back.

Set it in motion.

Talk about a crook with bad timing.

Great, he's on us.

Now, not too fast. If he loses us, no payday.

Oh, forget the payday.

I want payback.

Two hours till deadline.

No sweat.

Oh. Don't want anything to happen to this.

Marco?

How many times do I have to take you down?

And where's your charming partner O'Hirn?

Whoa--

Look, we gotta stop meeting like this.

People are starting to talk.

Mostly about what doofs you are.

I reckon that came as a bit of a shocker, eh, bug?

Well, good.

So will this.

Hold still, son,

so's I can put you out of your misery.

How about you put me out of my mystery?

Who are you?

Call me, well--

How's about "Shocker?"

Or how's about "Toast?"

Either you got less kick than a three-legged mule,

or this here suit does more than protect me from my own power.

I guess clothes do make the man.

Did I get him? Tell me I got him.

All you got is on my nerves.

Now, stay out of this, boy. The grownups were talking.

Don't be too mad at O'Hirn.

He just gets cranky without his n--

Impressive.

You could hire yourself out as a kiddie ride.

Thanks.

But I already got a job I love.

That should satisfy the Big Man.

Extraction.

Hey, a little help?

I ought to leave you for the cops,

but I'm in too good a mood.

Did I get him?

Is he roadkill?

He's finito. Let's book.

Talk about your tight spots.

But I'm alive.

Oh! And I reek.

And my paycheck's ruined.