Baywatch

-LOST ENOUGH SLEEP BECAUSE OF YOU TWO.

IT'S OVER.

NO MERCY.

YOU'RE DEAD.

E2, G4,

QUEEN TAKES KING.

CHECKMATE TSUMI, MY FRIEND.

I CONGRATULATE YOU VICTOR.

YOU ARE THE TRUE VICTOR

OR MAYBE IT WAS LUCK.

IT'S STILL EARLY.

LET'S PLAY ANOTHER GAME.

VICTOR?

VICTOR?

ARE YOU AFRAID YOU'LL LOSE?

VICTOR, ARE YOU THERE?

VICTOR?

VICTOR?

-EDDIE, I GOT TO HAVE MORE TO GO ON THAN "THE GUY WAS BIG."

-HOW ABOUT, HE PACKS A WALLOP LIKE MIKE TYSON?

-HERE'S A CUP OF HERB TEA MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

-LISTEN, GARNER, THE GUY CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.

I SAW HIS FACE FOR A SECOND BEFORE HE PUNCHED ME.

IT WAS GROTESQUE MAN.

HIS FACE WAS PAINTED LIKE A DEAD GUY.

OOOH!

AHH!

-WHY DON'T YOU LET ME TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL

AND GET THAT CHECKED OUT?

THIS ISN'T FROM THE FIGHT.

IT'S MY WISDOM TEETH, THEY'RE AT THE BACK,

THEY HAVE TO COME OUT.

-YOU WERE ON NIGHT SHIFT WITH A MOUTH FULL OF BAD TEETH?

LOOK, I DON'T WANT YOU GOING ON DUTY UNTIL THEY'RE OUT.

COME ON, MITCH!

I KNOW A GREAT ORAL SURGEON,

HIS NAME IS CALEB.

HE IS A 20 YEAR RECURRENT.

I'LL TELL HIM THAT YOU'RE A ROOKIE,

I'M SURE HE'LL SQUEEZE YOU RIGHT IN.

-CALEB, ISN'T THAT THE CLUMSY LIFEGUARD

WITH HANDS LIKE CEMENT BLOCKS?

-YEAH BUT YOU SHOULD SEE HIM ON A SURF SKI,

LIKE LIGHTENING.

HOW IS HE A DENTIST?

OH, HE'S FAST AND PAINLESS.

YEAH, WELL HE'S FAST ANYWAY.

GREAT.

- EDDIE, PLEASE UNLOCK THIS DOOR

OR WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE.

I'M NOT GOING.

-DON'T MAKE ME RESORT TO SENSELESS VIOLENCE

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO.

I'M NOT GOING.

-YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR.

I DON'T LIKE KNIVES, GINA,

AND NEEDLES, AND DOCTORS.

THEY LIE TO YOU.

THEY TELL YOU THIS IS GOING TO STING A LITTLE BIT

AND THEN, THEY GORGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH A HOT POKER.

I HAVE A VERY LOW THRESHOLD FOR PAIN.

LET ME PUT IT TO YOU ANOTHER WAY. I HATE PAIN.

IT BUMS ME OUT.

-THIS ISN'T WORKING. -HE WON'T COME OUT.

-PLEASE TALK TO HIM. -EDDIE, YOU GOT TO COME OUT.

THAT'S VERY EFFECTIVE.

-EDDIE, I'VE KNOWN CAL FOR YEARS.

HE'S GOOD. HE'S VERY GOOD.

AT WHAT? SURF SKIING?

- NO, MITCH WAS JUST HAVING FUN WITH YOU.

CALEB YANKED AT-- EXTRACTED MY WISDOM TEETH YEARS AGO.

HE USES A LITTLE GAS, YOU HAVE SWEET DREAMS,

YOU WAKE UP, IT'S OVER.

EDDIE, THIS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH

AT ROOKIE SCHOOL.

IT'LL BE A PIECE OF CAKE.

IT'LL BE OVER WITH BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.

EDDIE.

EDDIE.

GINA, WILL YOU STAY WITH ME?

-YES, I WON'T LET YOU GO TILL IT'S OVER.

ALL RIGHT.

AH, OH!

I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

THE OCEAN AND THE BEACHES ARE THE LIFEBLOOD

OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.

THEY NOT ONLY PROVIDE ENTERTAINMENT FOR OUR RESIDENTS,

THEY ATTRACT MILLIONS OF TOURISTS AS WELL.

I'M WELL AWARE THAT ATTRACTING TOURISM IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS,

BUT WE MUST NOT CATER TO THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR.

WE MUST PROTECT THE RIGHTS OF THE HOMELESS AND THE HUNGRY.

CAPTAIN THORPE, I'D LIKE TO EXTEND MY SINCERE THANKS

TO YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE FOR HELPING US

IN OUR BATTLE TO KEEP OUR BEACHES,

THE NATURAL RESOURCES WE MUST PROTECT AND TREASURE.

-SENATOR HASTINGS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THOSE KIND WORDS.

AND WE DO APPRECIATE YOU TAKING TIME OF YOUR SCHEDULE

TO COME OUT HERE AND HELP CHEER US ALL ON.

MY PLEASURE.

HE MAKES ME SICK.

LOOK AT THAT SUIT, THAT HAIR.

HOW DID HE GET ELECTED?

THAT SUIT, THAT HAIR.

-YOU WILL BE AT THE HOTEL OPENING NEXT WEEK?

OH, YES.

-OH, COME ON! DAWSON LOST THE ELECTION. YOU DIDN'T.

I WORKED HARD FOR DAWSON

BECAUSE HE'S THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB.

-LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU.

I APPRECIATE YOU COMING OUT ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

SENATOR, THIS WAY.

SENATOR HASTINGS, MY LIEUTENANT, MITCH BUCANNON.

-LIEUTENANT. -SIR.

AND THIS IS CRAIG POMEROY.

-OH, YES, MEMBER OF THE CURRENT LIFEGUARDS, LAWYER,

LOYAL CAMPAIGN WORKER FOR THE OPPOSITION.

-SENATOR. -HOW IS DAWSON?

FINE.

-I HEARD RUMORS HE TOOK LOSING THE ELECTION HARD.

MAN DROPPED OUT OF POLITICS AND OPENED A DRY CLEANING BUSINESS.

-NO, HE DIDN'T DROP OUT, SENATOR.

HE'S JUST WAITING FOR THE NEXT ELECTION.

-GOOD, AT LEAST HE WILL HAVE CLEAN CLOTHES WHILE HE WAITS.

I'D LIKE TO ASK YOUR OPINION, CAPTAIN,

ON OUR FOOD COLLECTION BINS FOR THE BEACHES.

-OH, I THINK THAT'S A WONDERFUL OPTION...

WHAT A PHONY.

-WHAT'S WRONG WITH COLLECTING FOOD FOR THE POOR?

-THE KIND OF POOR HE REPRESENTS, HAVE EXPENSE ACCOUNTS.

OOH!

EVER CONSIDER KNEE PADS?

KNEE PADS ARE FOR WIMPS.

REAL MEN DON'T WEAR KNEE PADS.

BE GENTLE, OKAY.

-I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU.

-REALLY! NO, I MEAN, OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T.

I WISH YOU'D BE MORE CAREFUL,

TODAY IT'S YOUR KNEE, YESTERDAY YOU SCRAPPED UP YOUR BACK.

YOU HAVE TO START WATCHING WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

HEY JILL!

-YOU SPEND MORE TIME HERE THAN YOU DO ON THE BEACH.

-YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I LIKE THE VIEW.

KEEP IT DRY, OKAY?

OKAY.

KEEP IT DRY ON THE BEACH.

OH.

BYE, SHAUNI.

SEE YOU.

THANKS.

YOU GOT TO TALK TO HIM, SHAUNI.

-OKAY, SO HE'S GOT A LITTLE CRUSH ON ME.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

WHEN I WAS HIS AGE, I HAD PLENTY OF CRUSHES TOO.

I STILL DO.

-I'M NOT TALKING SIMPLE CRUSH HERE.

I'M TALKING RAGING, OUT OF CONTROL HORMONES.

I MEAN THE GUY IS CUTTING AND SCRAPING HIMSELF

JUST SO THAT HE CAN COME HERE AND HAVE YOU FIX HIM UP.

YOU GOT TO TALK TO HIM.

OTHERWISE, IT'S JUST GOING TO GET WORSE.

WHY DID SHE DO IT, HUH?

WHY DID WHO DO WHAT?

-WHY DID SHE GO TO THE HAMBURGER STAND?

-I DON'T KNOW, EDDIE, MAYBE SHE WAS HUNGRY.

SHE LIED TO HER DADDY.

SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE LIBRARY.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT SHE TOLD HER OLD MAN NOW.

ARE YOU OKAY?

-I'D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE A T-BIRD ONE DAY...

OR A CORVETTE!

HELL, I'D LOVE TO HAVE A CAR.

-HEY, YOU'RE SWEATING. -IT'S HOT.

-YOU KNOW WHAT ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL BETTER AS A KID?

-WHAT? -SOUP! WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE?

DO YOU LIKE CHICKEN NOODLE, CHICKEN WITH RICE?

OOH! AHH!

JUST NAME IT, EDDIE.

I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU.