Sweet Hostage

Hey, Hatch. Leonard Hatch.

If you're addressing me, sir, the name is Kubla Khan.

Oh, excuse me, Mr Khan, luncheon is served.

In Xanadu did I a stately pleasure-dome decree,

and there, from force of habit,

I only dine with royalty.

Your Majesty, your knights await you.

And my days as well.

Doris Mae!

Shoot straight!

Doris Mae!

Doris Mae! Doris Mae!

What in the world is going on out there?!

Snake, Ma! Biggest diamondback you ever saw!

Oh, Doris Mae! - No, Ma! Don't chop it up, Ma!

Move before I chop your foot off! - But I wanted it for a trophy! No!

Oh, Ma!

Trophy? What do you want to make a trophy out of that for?

It was beautiful.

Ain't nothing beautiful about no snake except the hole you bury him in.

Ohhh, look at that.

That was one of our best hens, Doris Mae.

That's a shame, Doris Mae. I mean, that's just a shame.

Hey! Hey!

"Here's a news bulletin. Patient Leonard Hatch

escaped from Boston's Northfield Mental Hospital early this morning

and is believed to be still in the area. This man could be dangerous."

"Five feet nine, slender build, blue eyes, 35 years of age."

Shot a rattler, Pa. - Clean out the hen house?

No, not yet. I was just about to.

What time that fella bring you back last night?

Oh, about 11. - After doing what?

You know, this and that. - Don't give me none of your this and that.

You sashay outta here in clean jeans smelling like bubblegum to go to movies?

We did go to the movies, Pa. - What movie?

I don't know the name. We didn't get there till after it started.

It was all about this lady who hated this guy. When she went to kill him,

realised she felt sorry for him, and they ended up in a clinch.

I bet you did! - Bet I did what?

Ended up in a clinch. - I'm talking about the movie.

I'm telling you, any boy around here lays a finger on ya, I'll shoot him.

It was Carl Smathers' boy, Hank. - That make him any different?

Smathers owns the general store. - What has Smathers ever done for us

except overcharge us for those grape curtains?

What else did I get for this house in the last 16 years?

I never got the curtains I wanted. - You did too!

I wanted curtains with grape leaves,

not grapes.

What did you do after the movie? - Grapes.

He showed me how to throw his knife.

Then we went down to the river to go fishing. - And he didn't try nothing?

Stop chewing at her. - I ain't raising no tramp.

Just because it's all you went out with before you met me ain't no sign

that all girls are tramps. - I don't remember you giving me much trouble.

Only been with you 10 minutes and you started talking about your appendix being took out.

You can go and wash off in the... hen house.

After you finish with the hen house,

I'll be mending fence over by the cattle guard.

Go into town, get me some wire at Charlie's.

And pick up a bag of peat moss while you're at it.

You think you've got it bad?

I wasn't brought up to live this way.

Think of all the things we would've had if we'd stayed in St Louis.

What would they have been?

Better than living on a dirt farm, I can tell you.

I had my pick of...

...several eligible bachelors.

I ain't gonna worry about that, because I wouldn't have been me.

Hmm? What did you say? - If you married one of them bachelors,

I would've had different genes and chromosomes but I got yours and Pa's

so I'm me and I ain't gonna worry. - Where'd you learn that dirty talk?

You're learning to talk that way from Hank Smathers, aren't you?

Alls he's taught me is how to throw a knife. - Don't sass me, Doris Mae.

Genes...

...chromosomes, they make babies.

Good Lord knows, we don't need no more of them around here.

That's something else I ain't gonna worry about.

Live long and prosper.

- Hey, Harry. - Hi, kiddo.

How you doing? How's business?

Oh, so-so. Making a buck. How is it by you?

Shot me a rattler this morning. - No kidding!

Must've been five or six feet long. Big. - Five or six feet?

Skin like that ought to bring maybe 50, 60 bucks.

You know how to cure it? You nail it to a board, scale side down,

then you rub it with salt. Lots of salt. Rub it in real good.

Get it way down into the skin. Then you take it, lay it out in the sun,

let it dry maybe a week or so.

Hey. Well, I could handle it for ya, only take maybe 5%.

It'll get us a good price from a few passing pale-faces, huh?

- Yeah. But guess what. - What?

My ma chopped it up.

Hey, Harry. I got you that wax.

Hey, DM.

- How's the world treating you? - You know, same as usual.

- She shot a six-foot rattler today! - Oh, really?

You know how to cure it? - I did that bit already!

Only her ma cut up the merchandise. - Oh. Did you keep the rattle?

That I got. Yep. Now, how's that?

Whoa! Look at that.

8, 9... 11, 12!

That's a big mama!

A real beaut.

Keep hold of that. It'll bring you good luck.

And the next time somebody chops up a snake of yours,

give me a holler and I'll come knock some heads together. You got that?

Yeah. Thank you.

Come on! Come on!

- That's all of it there now. - Put your wallet in there, too.

- Come on, come on! - OK. There it is.

Now, take off all your clothes. Your clothes, take'em off.

I don't want you following me down the street when I leave.

Hey, what is this plastic pea-shooter you've got?

It's a killer gun. - That couldn't blow a hole out of a...

Come on, get the money back here and there'll be no trouble.

How have you been? - Alright.

Saw your truck out here. - Yep.

Need a hand with that? - I can manage.

Hey, I had a good time last night.

How about you? - I'm glad you had yourself a good time.

Wanna try throwing the old knife some more?

It's all in the feel, you know.

Once you get the feel of it, you never miss.

It's okay. I ought to be getting home. You know my pa.

Say, I heard you shot yourself a seven-foot rattler this morning.

Christ, all this town has to talk about is some damn snake?

# "Strangers On a Carousel" - Steven Michael Schwartz

# She was young and kind of pretty

# With a look of someone lost

# He was running from the city

# To be free at any cost

# They were like strangers on a carousel

# The world was all outside

# And they were waiting for the starting bell

# To take them on a ride

# He was angry when he caught her

# As she tried to run away

# He grew softer then and taught her

# Things that made her want to stay

# They were like strangers on a carousel

# A frightened boy and girl

# Two lonely strangers on a carousel

# Made giddy by the world #

What's the problem? Run out of gas? - Listen, I ain't that stupid.

Bust my dumb water hose.

You want a lift? - I'm just headed up the road a couple of miles.

Hop in, I'll take you.

You from around here? - No. Just passing through.

Yeah. That's what most people do. Just pass through.

Can't say I blame them. Not much to stop for.

You don't sound too happy with your surroundings.

I can think of better places. - Such as?

- St Louis. - Why St Louis?

Oh... I dunno.

- Still in school? - Got kicked out.

- Oh, really? Why? - Punched the teacher.

You could get away from here if you wanted to.

Are you kidding? My pa would shoot me.

- What does your pa do? - Rancher.

Well, at least he was before the foot and mouth.

Now I don't know what you call him except maybe "farmer".

He raises chickens. He's got me doing most of the work anyway.

- That's why he'd shoot me if I took off. - But you'd like to leave, wouldn't you?

What you'd like has got nothin' to do with nothin'.

On the contrary, my lady.

What you like is the beginning of everything.

That's my turn coming up ahead there. Better start slowing down.

Hey, mister! That's my turn back there!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it, dammit!

Be quiet.

Just sit back and relax. Don't panic.

Ah, ah, ah, ah! If you jump out now, you'll only hurt yourself.

Just relax. Nothing'll happen to you.

What do you mean?! It's happening! - You said you wanted to get away.

Where are you taking me to? - Xanadu!

You're nuts. - Your formal education resumes presently, my lady.

Where Alph, the sacred river runs

through caverns measureless to man down to a sunless sea.

But oh! That deep romantic chasm, a savage place

as holy and enchanted as e'er the waning moon was haunted

by a woman wailing for her demon-lover.

Hey, why don't you just let me out?

Look, I swear I ain't gonna tell nobody. - Anybody.

If you're gonna rape me, why don't you just stop somewhere and do it?

Then you can drop me back on the road and be on your way, OK?

What are you gonna do with me, then?

Relax! You might find it a rewarding experience. - How long's it gonna take?

This rewarding experience? - That, my lady, depends entirely on you.

What's that? - That's Alph, the sacred river.

- Haven't you ever seen a river before? - No.

And I'll bet you've never been in the mountains, either.

I've only seen 'em. - Oh, my lady,

the river is from melted snow from the fountains and the caves,

the sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice.

What kind of pleasure you got in mind?

I got a right to know what to expect, don't I?

The only pleasure there is, my lady. And it's all in the mind.

Welcome to Xanadu.

How like you this place?

They probably found my pa's truck and are out looking for me now.