Not An Artist

Dad, can I talk to you?

- Buddy, this thing is like a Swiss army knife.

Look it, here's my coffee station.

- - Dad. - Hot and cold water.

I can't drink it, but like dishes.

Oh, this'll blow you away, buddy.

Look at this.

- - Dad. - Just hang on one second.

This is for hot water.

I can take hot showers, buddy.

- - Some people when they... - Did you see this heating air

- grow up like we did - conditioning water heater.

with a single dad, there's a time when we set boundaries

and we change the way we relate to each other,

and it's called divorcing your parents.

That sounds ridiculous.

- No, it's important to me because I'm about to go

to this very serious artist in residency

that is very competitive.

- I know. I know. - Like, think about...

I think we should set some rules.

You can't call me while I'm there.

- What? Why not? - You can't email me.

You can't send me recipes,

you can't invite me to a baseball game.

None of that.

I won't be. I won't.

I'm gonna be camping miles away from you.

I'm not gonna bother you.

Dad. Good.

I won't bother you.

- I have a lot to do, so that is good.

- Good. - That's it.

- That's it. - Okay.

I'm divorced from my daughter, which-

Shh, just don't talk.

It's done, hug me and let's go to the airport.

- It's insane. It's insane. - Okay. Love you.

Okay, let's go.

- Nobody does this, but yes. - We did it. We did it.

- Okay, Okay. - Okay.

At the residency,

you'll find a bright, refreshing, clean environment

to uncover your full potential as an artist.

Learn from the Abbot the ways of true artistry.

- Rise and shine and open up your minds.

- Come and realize your full potential

as the artist you were destined to be.

Welcome.

- As intense as this one.

- Thank you. - Welcome.

- Much higher altitude than you would think.

Yeah, uh um um.

Thank you.

Welcome, artists.

This is your new uniform.

The only self-expression here is through your art,

Thank you.

- not through vanity such as physical appearance.

The Abbot is very passionate about this.

If the uniform has become soiled, please let me know

and I'll replace them for you immediately.

Thank you, artists. Thank you.

Follow me, grab a pair of shoes

and I'll show you your cabin assignments.

There are two studios to a cabin.

You'll find that the Abbot has outfitted each studio

to fit your individual creative needs.

Claire, your studio's to the right.

Alice, your studio's to the left.

Please respect each other's creative space.

Incivility will not be tolerated.

Thank you.

Hi, I'm Alice.

My project here is to create an audiobook series

of Y A fantasy adventure stories.

I feel that to tell the best story,

I need to get more personal than I've gotten.

Writer's block, it really doesn't exist.

It's just a discipline and we're all here to do it,

and I'm one of those people to do it.

I am Wesley. I'm a painter.

I know that I really need to make my masterpiece.

Look at all this potential.

Van Gogh, he didn't start painting 'til he was 40

so I think that, you know, I have seven years on Van Gogh.

Hi, I'm Kimmy.

I'm a professor and I am a playwright.

Oh my God!

I'm very grateful because I finally feel seen

for the first time in my life,

and I can't tell you how huge that is.

Greetings, everyone.

I'm Donte.

Quite frankly, to be honest,

everything that I make is strange.

No one really connects, relates,

or even cares about what I'm trying to do.

How does that sound?

Sounds good to me.

I know sometimes I don't believe in myself,

but every day I'm trying to put my best foot forward

and become a filmmaker.

- Hi, I am Indigo Mayas Braithwaite.

My mother is Magenta Mayas Braithwaite.

She's a very famous sculptor.

I am here to step out of her shadow.

The first time I picked up the clay I was four,

and then I had my first exhibit when I was eight.

Of course, that was a complete failure

so I started residencies right after that.

I am Christopher, I am a poet,

and I currently live in Berlin.

I will be successful.

I will be successful.

I started tweeting just silly little whimsical poems.

Really little, little rhymes, but they went viral

and I got a book deal.

So now I find myself in this gilded cage.

Do I continue making my silly little poems,

or do I find trauma

to source deep, meaningful poetry?

Hello, everyone.

I'm Claire. I'm a painter.

I was accepted to four Ivy League schools plus Stanford,

but I decided to take a gap year to explore art,

and see if this is really what I wanted to do

for the rest of my life.

As we all know, art is subjective,

but when it comes to the fine art world, it's also not.

Cheers!

- I admire the Abbot for having a financial incentive.

It shows that he's not afraid

to show the role of money in art.

I completely disagree.

I think that money corrupts art.

In fact, the last time I was at a Christie's auction,

the people applauded the price and not the Picasso.

- Hey, does anyone happen to recognize her over there?

Isn't she like famous or something?

So help me understand,

you got an MFA in creative writing, yeah?

Yes.

Then what are you doing here?

- An MFA doesn't guarantee you success in the real world.

- Well, if it doesn't guarantee success,

then why waste the time and the money getting a degree?

I...

Can we get some more please?

Can we get some more?

I've always said, if I don't live up to my potential,

if I'm not fulfilling my artistic goals, I'll kill myself.

What's the point of living if you're not living up

to your potential as an artist?

I completely agree.

Life is precious.

Why would you even play like that?

I know it's precious.

That's why you shouldn't waste resources

or consume people's time and attention doing something

that doesn't live up to your true potential.

I know my true potential as an artist,

and I intend to get there.

If I don't, I'll kill myself.

- You know they say a picture could paint a thousand words.

I always ask the question,

how many pictures can you get from a single word?

And that word is artist.

You know, I first dreamed of becoming an artist

when I was about nine years old.

I would go visit my mother at work

and she worked over in the garment district in Manhattan,

and on the way home we would pass this street painter

who would paint the most beautiful portraits of people,

and I saw how much it amazed my mother.

And I said, "Mom, I'm gonna be a great painter one day."

I thought that maybe I'll make the next Mona Lisa.

It'll be a portrait of mom.

But then, my mother got sick

and necessity overtook me,

and I put down that paintbrush, took my ass

back to the garment district

and figured out how to make a dollar.

And I became rich, but this dream of being an artist

kept calling me.

Calling, calling.

I couldn't buy it away, I couldn't drink it away,

I couldn't fuck it away.

Check out what I did.

I went down to the south of France and I bought the villa

that Van Gogh used when he made his masterpieces.

I owned that shit!

And I thought being here

where this great master once walked,

eating the vegetation that he ate,

seeing the beautiful landscapes that inspired him,

I would be inspired.

And I put my canvas up, got my favorite palette together,

and I couldn't paint a fucking apple.

And I went back to my room that night