Girl Meets World

Maya: The following is a campaign commercial brought to you by the...

Riley: Imagine your education in a magical kingdom

and unicorns roam the halls.

Say goodbye to too much studying.

Say goodbye to meddling teachers.

But, Riley, I'm your fa...

A vote for me is a vote to live happily ever after.

I am princess Riley Matthews and I approveth this messageth.

The campaign of Riley Matthews is not responsible

for anyone who thinks a horse is a unicorn.

No, we're not.

Democracy.

Our form of government where the power lies with the people.

So who here can tell me another form of government

where the power doesn't lie with the people?

- Farkle! - Thank you, sir.

Dictators. Love 'em.

They get to do whatever they want.

I wanna be one someday.

Mr. Friar!

Sorry for being late, sir. My flight was delayed.

You went back to Texas again this weekend?

- Visited my friends. - He misses his old friends.

Aww. Cowboy's got the blues.

I will never get to you, will I?

No, but I sure do appreciate the effort.

Ooh!

Okay, guys, seventh grade student council elections are coming up.

- (Kids groan) - Yay. (Chuckles)

Why that?

Because every year somebody runs,

makes promises and nobody does anything.

Yeah. What lunkhead's running the elections this year?

How ya doing?

Can't you just make a change?

You know what? It's up to you guys to make changes.

Since we're studying alternate forms of governments this year,

why not let the candidates run in any form of government they choose?

- (Kids groan) - Yay.

So any nominations?

I, Farkle, nominate I, Farkle, for dictator.

You can't nominate yourself, Farkle.

- I'll nominate him. - Really?

Yeah. I like ya. I got your back.

I thought you had my back.

I got his back.

Whoa, easy there, harmonica.

Who are you? Where did you come from?

- He's the rebel. - Well, what am I?

Oh, you're the good guy. You're our moral compass.

Wow. That sounds hard to pull off.

Yeah, but you're really good at it.

- Thanks. - See?

He's right, Friar. Represent democracy.

I don't know, Mr. Matthews.

If democracy worked, maybe I'd have gotten a vote on where I get to live.

I nominate Lucas Friar for president.

Okay. Second?

No, honey, you nominated him.

You can't second the nominati...

All right, fine.

What are you doing? He's your competition.

- I'm not running for anything. - Yes, you are.

I got plans for you.

- Yeah. - You know what?

It'd be an honor to run for president.

Thank you, Riley.

My pleasure, buddy. (Chuckles)

I don't know how it happens.

I'm nominating you for something.

This is your chance to be the voice of strong-willed, confident women everywhere.

I wanna be a princess.

- Listen to me... - No! You listen to me.

I'm 12 years old. The window is closing on my princess dream.

And I ain't winning any pageants until I grow into these limbs.

Princess is all I have.

- Get it for me. - As you wish, m'lady.

Yay.

Hey, dad, campaign question.

Impartial! As your teacher, I must refrain from showing any favoritism.

But as your father, whaddya got?

I got serious Riley.

Loser! What else you got?

Smiley Riley!

Love her! See you at the victory party.

- (Whispering) Quiet! - (Yelps)

Auggie will not go to sleep. I don't know what's wrong.

I have an idea.

Mommy.

When mommy read the book the first time, she said...

"If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask for a glass of milk."

But then, five times later, she was like...

"Eat your stinking cookie, mouse! Eat it!"

And now I'm awake.

Corey, look, I know tonight is my night, but could you please put him to bed?

Topanga, I gotta grade papers.

I gotta be at court at 8:00 A.M.

To stop a nursing home from being torn down.

I gotta have breakfast with mother Teresa and Gandhi,

and we are going to play racquetball.

And she's really good.

I'm awake.

Hey, Aug, guess what. You know what?

The Phillies are playing the mets on TV.

- Uh, don't you think it's a little late? - (Crowd cheering on TV)

Topanga, it's the ninth inning.

There's like five minutes left.

Hey, you have failed. How could I do worse?

- I'll tell you... - Ferp!

Ninth inning. What could happen?

The mets nothing, and the Phillies nothing.

Put on a pot of coffee, folks,

we could be here all night.

- (Chuckles) - Both: Oh yeah!

26 innings?

We're men.

Men watch the whole game, or we're not men. Right, Aug?

- (Gasps) - Look, honey, you got what you wanted!

- He's sleeping. - Oh.

Honey, I want him sleeping at night, and now he's not gonna sleep again tonight.

Why won't he sleep at night? Tell me.

You I'm leaving there.

And that's how you get outta that.

Everybody deserves the right to vote.

Because if that right is taken away you know what you get?

I am Farkle! And these are the dictatorettes.

They are part of the new Farkle nation.

How would you like to be part of the new Farkle nation?!

Kids: Meh.

Nobody's buying, Farkle. Nobody wants you for dictator.

I was afraid something like this would happen.

But genius that I am, I have a plan.

I got an Uncle Morty in the t-shirt business.

Who will become part of Farkle nation for a free t-shirt?!

Kids: Yeah!

Dictatorettes, give the peoples what they want.

Uh-oh.

Instead of learning on books, we should learn on tablets.

The whole world will be at our fingertips.

Instead of reading about Spain, we hit a button and we go there!

Ole!

- What you doing? - I'm addressing the issues.

Nobody cares about the issues, Riles.

They only care about who's having the most fun.

- Farkle nation! - Kids: Farkle nation!

Holy moley. I got me an army.

He's got him an army.

I need me a kingdom.

I'm not princess enough yet, am I?

- No, honey, you're not. - Farkle nation!

Farkle nation, Farkle nation,

Farkle nation, Farkle nation,

Farkle nation, Farkle nation...

What do I need to be princess enough?

You need a unicorn.

- You'll get that for me? - Yeah.

I know a guy.

What horse?

I was up again with Auggie last night.

I'm very tired. Cory, we need bread.

I wanted you to have my princess hat

from when I rallied against gender stereotypes.

I was going to light it on fire, but...

It's too pretty.

Good luck to you.

Bye, honey.

Riley on TV: A vote for me is a vote

to live happily ever after.

I am princess Riley Matthews and I approveth this messageth.

The campaign of Riley Matthews

is not responsible for anyone

who thinks a horse is a unicorn.

Well, America's always held a special place in its heart for princesses.

Perhaps Riley will be the first one ever voted in.

Not after everyone sees Farkle's commercial.

Play it, sheephead.