Awkward.

Previously on Awkward...

Even though Matty is blind to your treachery,

I'm not.

End it with Colin or tell Matty.

You need to shut that shit down.

Your mom's throwing you a surprise party!

All: Surprise!

Jenna, honey?

Are you still in there?

Physically, yes.

Mentally, I am all over the place.

Are you coming out today?

No.

So you're not going to school?

How can I go to school if I'm not coming out?

Good point.

Should I tell the school you're sick?

Tell them whatever you want.

My life is over.

Matty won't return my calls or my emails or my texts.

I even called his house phone

and his mom picked up and said that he wasn't available.

What does that even mean?

That's he's not available for everyone or for me?

I am freaking out.

So just please go away.

I'm never gonna recover from everything that happened.

I'm gonna go run some errands.

Are you sure you don't wanna come with?

And tell me if you and Matty are still together?

Go away.

Or you can just tell me.

Go away!

Ha! I fooled you.

Just talk to me.

I don't wanna talk.

I just wanna be left alone

to suffer in silence.

I am an asshole and a cheater and a liar

and everyone hates me.

Did you and Matty break up?

Or are you still together?

Just give me something that I can work with.

I need clarity.

And I need a hug.

Oh, baby.

Oh!

Damn it!

Honey, I know what will make you feel better!

Let's open your gifts!

?

If you don't come out, I'm gonna open them for you!

I'm doing it!

Never mind!

Jenna won't come out of her room.

She's been in there all weekend

and now she's not going to school.

So she's pulling a sick-out?

- A what-out? - A sick-out.

She's being a truant.

I'm gonna write her a note.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

The less I know the better.

I cannot be complicit in your scheme.

What should I do?

Break down her door.

I thought about that, but I just painted the hall.

Right, right.

It's a little extreme. Tear gas?

I think we've had enough tears this weekend to last a lifetime.

Okay, let's just cut to what's really important.

Are Jenna and Matty still together?

- I don't know. - Damn it!

Can you keep your ears to the street?

That's where they live L-dog.

I'll call you later with the intel.

You have to talk to Jenna.

I would if I could, but she won't return my calls

or answer any of my texts.

- Have you talked to Matty? - No.

I haven't seen him all day or heard from him all weekend.

Not since the party.

He's icing me out too.

- Where's T? - Hell if I know.

She's not answering her cell.

What is going on in our world?

It's madness.

It's total fucking madness.

So, what do you think?

Jenna and Matty break up or not?

Isn't it obvious?

It's over.

- How do you know? - How do you not know?

You were there too.

- You saw the aftermath. - No.

After Jenna and Collin came through the door,

I went out back to call Tamara and give her a heads-up.

Don't you remember?

Dude, I wasn't paying attention to you.

- I was watching the show. - What show?

- You don't know? - Know what?

Okay.

So it was moments before the surprise.

We were crouching behind the couch,

waiting to surprise Jenna.

Oh, yeah, that's when I asked, "Where's Tamara?"

And I said, "She's on her way."

And then I rolled my eyes.

Are you gonna let me finish

or are we gonna debate the details all day?

Okay, okay. Continue.

So, we could hear the keys rumbling at the door

and then Valerie was getting apoplectic

about shushing me up

because Lissa was going on and on

about finally getting out of her neck brace.

And my doctor, Brian, he let's me call him by his first name

because he wants me to feel more comfortable

when he examines my breasts, so--

Do you not understand English?

When I said quiet, I meant silencio!

If you keep talking, you're gonna ruin the surprise,

and ruining the surprise

is the worst thing that can possibly happen.

All: Surprise!

Surprise indeed.

So I guess ruining the surprise

is not the worst thing that could happen.

Then Collin bailed

and Matty went after him, pissed.

Oh, my God.

I was trying to sneak out and watch the action

when Valerie jock-blocked the exit.

Nothing to see here!

Let's just put on some music

and roll out the snacks.

It's a fucking party, people, so let's party!

So I grabbed a seat just in time to see the aftermath.

I'm so sorry, Collin.

I can't deal.

Matty hit Collin,

then Jenna apologized to Collin,

which infers that she's sided with him,

which further infers the obvious fact

that Jenna and Matty are done.

But Matty didn't hit Collin.

- Then who did? - Jenna.

What?

How do you know?

Well, I had just tried calling Tamara, you know,

to fill her in on the sitch,

but she wasn't picking up.

So when I came back in,

Jenna was taking Collin into the kitchen.

I'm so sorry, Collin.

I can't deal.

And then the dude slowly turned to me,

looked me square in the eye and said...

I didn't know a girl could hit that hard.

Can you believe he had the balls to turn to me for empathy?

It's infuriating.

But besides the point, what happened next?

And where was I?

Well, then Jenna left the room

and Mrs. Hamilton took Collin to the sink.

Oh, God. Okay, come with me.

You were on the couch eating guac and chips.

Right.

My blood sugar always gets low when I'm stressed.

And Mrs. Hamilton makes some good guac.

Please. She don't make that.

It's store-bought.

But I've seen her putting avocados into a bowl.

With the store-bought guac.

It's her trick.

So what we know is Jenna hit Collin to win Matty back.

And then felt bad for fucking up Collin's face.

So she went back inside to help fix said face, then--

Went back outside again to find Matty

to beg for forgiveness.

And he's a softie, which means...

- They're still together! - They're still together!

But Jenna didn't hit Collin.

I did.

Which is why I missed school this morning.

I had to see a doctor.

My hand blew up to the size of a potato.

Everyone's hand is the size of a potato.

No, like, a modern potato that's jacked and stacked.

On steroids.

- So what happened? - I sprained it.

- No, with Collin. - No, with Collin.

Ohhh.

So I was jimmy-jammying it to get to the party,

but I had a wardrobe malfunction

and had to stop to de-cling the static

that was riding the jutt of my butt.

So my timing was off and I was late-late.

And I couldn't find my phone.

It wasn't in my purse or on my person