Jane the Virgin

Okay, big stuff, friends, so buckle in.

As you know, Jane and Michael had a fairy tale wedding,

but it turned into a nightmare,

but thankfully, Michael survived and thrived.

So, it was a huge shock when...

I didn't pass my physical.

I can't go back to the force.

Which meant he needed a new career.

- How about a lawyer? - Exciting, right?

Now all he had to do was pass the LSAT.

And speaking of big career moves,

Rogelio wanted to cross over from telenovelas,

so he shot a revealing part in an indie film.

Yup. Really revealing.

And as for Jane's mom, Xo...

well, she was back with her old flame, Bruce.

The only problem? His daughter, Tess.

Barf. Sorry, I shouldn't say that,

but trust me, she's tough.

Also tough, Petra.

Or she was before her sister, Anezka,

paralyzed her and took her place.

And ever since Petra woke up, well...

she's been having a hard time connecting with her kids.

Also having a hard time, poor Rafael.

See, he had covered up his late father's crimes,

but then he found out his parents

weren't really his parents,

and he found an addendum to his father's will,

which would make him, well, broke. Then again...

If you're looking for the will, it's over. I destroyed it.

Or at least she thought she did.

I know. Straight out of a Telenovela, right?

Which, of course, it is, after all.

Looking back, you could say it felt different right away,

which might be true, or might just be memory.

- _ - In any case, when Michael Cordero Jr.

Was seven years old,

he had the worst day of his life.

Honey, I'm sorry, you're sick, so no trick-or-treating.

But I feel totally fine.

Of course, young Michael was an unreliable narrator...

You have a fever.

- which I'm not. - Come on.

Smile for me in your costume,

and then we'll get you into your pj's.

Oh, man.

I remember this moment exactly.

- Well, not exactly. - Oh.

You were seven.

Plus, the act of remembering changes things.

I read this article in The New Yorker.

Show off.

It was about flashbulb memories.

Oh, yeah, I read that one.

Apparently, memories around big events seem clearer,

but the periphery disappears.

You remember the feeling, not the details.

- No. I remember it exactly. - He doesn't.

'Cause it was so traumatizing.

You can trust me.

Okay, okay, I believe you.

Hello? Hey, Alice.

I have huge news!

Wait, wait, what?

Uh, yes, of course.

Tell me about the job.

Chloe Leland

is in the market for a new assistant.

You know who she is, right? Total wunderkind. And it's...

$40,000 a year, plus benefits?

And you know why her current assistant is leaving?

Because he's getting his book published.

By Chloe?

Oh, my God, yes.

Please, give her my résumé. Yes.

Thank you.

Okay, bye.

This job sounds amazing.

$40,000 a year.

Plus benefits. That would be huge.

Right? Hey, what's wrong, sweet boy?

Well, if you must know, I had some

big news myself, that I was excited to share.

Oh. Sorry about that. What is it?

Never mind, you stole my thunder.

- Dad. - Okay, here it is.

Oh, no, Mateo. - (Mateo vomits)

Ugh. Uh.

_

_

I hope he's not coming down with a stomach bug.

Maybe it was the chicken last night.

I woke up feeling a little off. Thought it was pretest jitters.

Well, how do you feel now?

Totally fine.

Rogelio, you were

about to tell us something.

Oh, since you asked, they are screening a-a rough cut

of my film, uh, tomorrow night for friends and family.

Ah, yes. His full-frontal Fassbender moment.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I have my last LSAT prep class.

I'll have to see it at Sundance.

From your lips to Robert Redford's ears.

But, Jane, you're coming, right?

I, uh...

I mean, it's...

it's just so soon.

I thought I'd have more time to prepare.

Oh, come on. I told you I'll give you a heads up

before the naked shot

so you can look away.

- Promise? - Yes.

And look, stills for my fan club.

Oh! Dad, put that back.

- _ - But I signed my name over my goodies.

Fine.

But you are coming, right?

I thought you were in just the one scene.

Yeah, but I made up the invitations.

_

- You're not going to that, are you? No.

He just invited me because I helped him get the part.

Good... because it was your idea to dismiss the nannies

for this whole family bonding thing,

so you can't leave me alone with them.

_

You know I have to meet my lawyers, about the plea deal.

Ah, yes. You'll recall Rafael cooked some books

to cover his father's art theft.

O-Only an hour, you said.

Only it turns out his dad wasn't really his dad.

And also, my sister's coming,

so I'll need some time with her.

To drop the bomb that she's not really his sister.

You done?

Yes, I-I think so.

Yes.

The rest of the time, I will be here.

Are you nervous?

No, because I'm not gonna make the same mistake

- that I made last time. - You mean when Cat told you

not to prepare for the interview and just,

: "Fake it till you make it."

Yeah, and this time I'm gonna prep it till I crush it.

My girl.

So, I've been doing

a deep-dive Internet search on Chloe Leland.

Mm-hmm?

She's incredible.

She published her first book when she was 19

by tweeting one sentence at a time.

Yeah, she's basically...

pioneered a whole new form.

You're like the Mark Zuckerberg of publishing.

- _ - (laughing): Oh, no, stop.

But feel free to tweet that about me.

I like it.

And she published, Around The World

In Eighty Leis: A Hawaiian Girl Abroad,

which was my favorite book last summer.

When I read that proposal, I died.

I had to snap the minute after.

And she commissioned a series of books called

Written To the Nines,

which are all written by kids under ten.

Age ain't nothing but a number.

Says the woman who's accomplished more before 20

than most people do in their lifetime.

Ugh, and yet, still single

as my mother reminds me.

- Oh, no. - Oh, yes.

How'd she become a VP so young?

Well, the woman she replaced found herself

on the wrong side of a James Frey situation.

_

_

_

_

Someone had to take the fall.

The cost of being

an unreliable narrator,

which as I've said, I'm not.

Then again, I'd say that if I were.

I hated getting my big break

at the expense of another woman's failure,

but this isn't summer camp.

No participation trophies. Anyway...

I like you enough for phase two, Jane V.

Sample coverage.

_

It's a new memoir.

One-page synopsis, two-page analysis.

I'll give you extra points if you can do it

without using the letter "E".

Kidding.

Jane V?

I think it's cute.

Thanks for watching little man.