Zero (शून्य)

For God's sake, let me go!

Where to, princess?

- Let me go. - Scream if you want.

Let the toughest man in Meerut save you from my clutches.

- Anyone there? - Ashok!

May the good Lord forgive us!

Can't you speak French?

Ashok, didn't I hit you yesterday?

So what?

So what!

Times have changed, boy.

Your father is a boy! They call me Bauua Singh.

Bauua!

Oh, no! That same dream.

Did you save my honor again in your dream?

Yes.

Your friends are here.

Your father is calling you for breakfast.

Bring me tea. Wash your hands first.

- Bauua. - Who's that?

- Bauua! - Bauua!

Your Majesty! Good morning.

Good morning, guys. What's up?

Look! The new iPhone.

Wow!

Sire, this jewel in rags

has brought great news for you.

Your heart will melt. You'll sing devotional songs.

- The most delightful news ever. - Read it out!

Okay.

Babita Kumari's heart has been broken again.

- Wow! - At director Imtiaz Ali's party

the spat between Babita Kumari and her boyfriend intensified.

They were cast in Anurag Kashyap's next film

but Babita has refused to work with her guy.

- Tea. - Her close friend disclosed why.

He's with another actress.

Has it happened again?

Has Babita Kumari's heart been broken by another flirt?

Your bride has missed the wedding bus.

Well done! Guddu, that's terrific news.

Today is Eid. Give these guys a 500-rupee bundle.

It'll make their day.

- Wait! - Just be quiet.

- Is he up yet? - No.

He'll only get up when my dead body leaves this house.

Have your breakfast. Stop nagging him. He's just a kid.

- By height. Eats like a full-grown man! - Stop it.

I slave away while the mister wants fresh orange juice.

I am not his father

but a money printing machine to him.

Keep them coming.

Hey! Enjoy biryani in my bride Babita's name.

Hey, you!

Stop!

The whole neighborhood's shown up.

You incompetent idiots!

Snatch the cash from him.

- Have your breakfast. - I won't spare him today.

- It's morning! - What?

Squandering my money.

- He's a kid. - A kid, my foot!

You're an angel of death.

Don't talk nonsense, Ashok.

Your bad habits made me short.

So what if I spend your money?

My bad habits?

Is my height my fault?

All that tobacco-chewing stunted your genes.

- My genes? - It's stunted. I've read about it.

Kusum, either I kill him or you kill me.

- Say that when a cop's bashing you. - Bauua!

- Go on. Hit me. - Go downstairs for my sake.

- I'll stop your merrymaking. - Go!

- I'm taking your car. - Be my guest!

Move away!

Even your belt's too soft.

Bauua, why are you after him?

Look at my height. He owes me, Mom.

Son, it's God's will that you're a dwarf.

Your God has had His way. Now it's my turn.

Go. Get me my suit and the Dhoom 3 bowler hat.

I'm going to watch my bride's new movie.

Mom, I've told you so many times

don't you cry.

- Found your perfect wife? - Pandey is looking for a girl.

- How are you! - Nigar Cinema. - How many passengers?

Just me, the small kid. And my father.

Why are you joking, sir? You're a grown man.

So why ask? Shall I?

- I charge 20 rupees. - It's 10 for Nigar Cinema.

Pay me five and pull the rickshaw yourself.

10 rupees per passenger. No matter how many.

- Can you pull us all? - Yes.

Give me five! Again!

I'm taking you to watch my bride's movie!

Come! We're off to see my bride's movie.

Come and enjoy Babita's latest!

Two item numbers in this one.

He can pull us all.

Guddu, should I call Junaid?

Forget it! He prefers the star Deepika and Hollywood movies.

Come with us. There's tons of room here.

"The night is young, full of lustful promises."

"The weather is in our favor."

The screen is that way!

"You always fail at love. I burn in love."

"Our names are notorious."

"I could use you."

"Don't think too much."

"I'll leave the world behind for you. Why worry?"

"The beauty conquers your heart."

"The beauty conquers your heart. Don't worry, sweetheart."

"Beauty conquers.."

Celebrate? Celebrate what?

Are you drunk? I'll be there tomorrow.

- What is it? - Nothing. Come on.

"Bang like a drum, work my body. Tonight I'm in charge, so dance to my beat."

"Do it slowly."

"One night only."

"Because I'm feeling hot, Tequila no chase."

"Oh, on, your lips, you like my style."

Bring the three Khans with you. Here I am, sweetheart.

Why did Pandey call you so early?

I have a bad feeling.

Mr. Singh

when's the wedding?

What rubbish, Pandey!

Don't stick gum on my shoe for your commission.

You've introduced me to many girls for months.

I didn't like any.

What's so special about her?

I didn't care for active girls

why would an inactive girl interest me?

- Inactive? - Yes!

I told him to find me another bride. Didn't I tell you?

- Yes. - He's right.

I know what you were up to.

You should've told me before hugging and kissing.

My God, what have you done?

What's wrong with her?

She's pretty and educated.

Comes from a good family. Has a great job.

But

- a few mechanical problems. - Like what?

Technical hiccups.

He's not exactly a catch!

When he sits, his feet can't touch the ground and he wants a beauty.

- True. - You were having

a love affair.

No.

Will you betray her? Turn your back on love?

Love? What's going on?

You didn't tell me. God, forgive us.

No!

What do you mean, no?

It started five months ago, on 27th January

you were looking at photos of prospective brides

and I entered through that door.

It was a miserable day.

You came all the way from Meerut in this terrible storm?

Bachelors at 38

aren't scared of storms.

You've seen so many photos.

No girl in Asia is worthy of you.

Shut up!

You lied to me. You hid this diamond in a coal mine.

This one?

- Where did you find this? - In your desk drawer.

She's unavailable. So I hid it.

I've paid you so much, you should be available to me too.

- What are you saying? - What's wrong?

Mr. Singh, she's not for you.

I think she is.

My friend, she shakes a lot.

So I'll shake along with her.

Introduce us.

Don't take this road.

But I will.

Mr. Singh

even people who love in secret end up married.

Aafia Yusufzai Bhinder? What kind of name is that?

Some people have the oddest names. So does she.

Half Afghani, half Punjabi.

Blast! Then? What did you do?

Then, I landed up at her address.

Amity Global School is proud to present our very own student

from the batch of 2001. Apart from finding water fossils in Mars

her latest achievement is creating a zero gravity simulator on earth.

Students, please welcome our senior scientist, Ms. Aafia Yusufzai Bhinder.

Good heavens!

The photo was deceptive.

Good morning, students.

- Only girls here. Scoot! - Fine!

Stop!

- Where are you going? - Nowhere!

- Why are you in a fancy dress? - It's my birthday.

- And those doves? - Which ones?

- Give them to me. - Stop!

They cost 5,000 for the pair, idiot.