Along the Roadside

This guy on the radio went

prattling on about some second-hand

Freudian shit about how adultery is the last

rebellious act left to people in these

structured modern times.

You've got to get up, get out

and do something, man.

Yeah, I told him I get these migraines.

Man, it's like a phone in my head that

keeps ringing. You know?

Just ringing.

It's stress.

Ringing, ringing.

It builds up, man.

And nobody even answers.

Did you feel an earthquake last night?

Nah.

Nada.

No I ain't feel nothing.

Well, the TV said there was a 4.4,

and it hit at exactly 4:04 a.m.

That's creepy.

How did you not feel anything though?

I don't know. How did you feel it?

Man, your bed shakes.

Nigger, my bed shakes every night.

Get the fuck out of here man.

Gangster!

Man, what you know about that man?

Man I'm hitting switches on

bitches like I was fixed with hydraulics

up and down like a roller coaster.

Oh Tupac, huh?

You old hologram man singing.

Oh man, shit.

Now tell me again about

these little sex toys you designed, man.

I didn't design no sex toys, man.

Oh come on, man.

You know the toys, the little dildo shit.

No, no, no, no.

I said there was interest from a sex toy

manufacturer in an ad that I designed.

It was just an ad, that's all,

but it could have been for anything really.

Oh, what'd you call it?

Space Invader.

Yeah, new sci-fi movie.

Hey little cute ass Shelby girl

looking over here, man.

I'm going to take 10.

Man this nigger a bitch.

Hey, what's up?

Hey.

How's it going?

Is that Douglas?

So, what's the deal?

Nothing I just wanted to see you.

Well, I'll be home in a

couple of hours.

Baby -

What?

How much?

Enough, all right?

Baby -

Yes, baby?

Could you imagine your

life without me?

That's a loaded question.

Baby -

Yes sweetie?

I'm pregnant.

Fuck.

You have insurance?

What?

Maybe I should get you

a hotel room.

Why?

You know to thin the blood,

champagne and hot tub.

It's a poor woman's miscarriage.

Look, it's just not the right time. Okay?

Look at me.

Look at me.

I love you. Okay?

Okay?

The important thing is that when it happens,

however it happens, it's got to be the right time.

You've got to be ready.

I mean things have to fall into place.

I mean come on, we had an understsanding

about this.

I know.

We cool?

Yeah, we're cool.

You all right?

Yeah.

Fuck, I've got to run back.

So I'll see you tonight?

The postwar generation found solace

in the austere arms of existentialism.

It is the choice that gives value to the act.

Seemed to be a grand idea at the time.

For as Dostoevsky brilliantly put it,.

Now Jean-Paul Sartre on the other hand,

declared that a person cannot define himself

by disappointed dreams, miscarried hopes

or vain expectations.

So when this disillusioned commie who

saw human nature in all its shades of gray

was asked, "Who is the hero of our time?"

His answer was simple, "It is the man on the run."

Sweetie.

Hm?

You awake?

Baby -

What?

I want it.

How bad do you want it?

I want... it.

Ah, no Sierrah come on.

We've already been through this.

Why not? Why not give it a try?

Why not go through with it?

Go through with it?

Yeah.

You say it like it's a good thing.

I mean come on Varnie.

It's not like you're getting any younger.

I think it's time to start -

Time for what?

Time for me to give up on myself

and bury my fucking dreams?

No.

I'm just saying.

No, that's what you're saying though.

It's like, "This guy ain't getting anywhere with his shit.

He needs to strap up, put on a tie and get

a real job." Right?

That's bullshit, Varnie.

I've always supported you.

Don't make this about -

I'm not on your clock.

I understand that.

I'm not on your fucking timeline.

I know you're not -

Do you understand me?

My timeline.

Do you understand me?

Varnie! Come on!

What if it's a C-section?

You're the one who's going to have to wear

a fucking tie for the rest of your life

every time you go to the beach.

Well, it's my body and I'll

do what I want to do with it.

Yeah, well tell the doctor not

to put an extra stitch for daddy because

this motherfucker is out.

Wait.

Wait, you're leaving?

You about to fucking go?

Niggers ain't shit.

Varnie.

Varnie!

What Sierrah?

What do you want from me?

I just want to talk about it.

What? To let you bury me alive

because you're fucking bored?

I'm not bored.

Well you think this fucking baby

is going to fix anything?

I don't need a baby to fix anything.

What? Do you think it's going to give you

some sort of meaning?

It will give us a meaning.

There is no fucking us.

Get that stupid fucking idea out of your head.

Oh God, I just want us

to have it.

I'm having it.

You stupid bitch.

I'm having it.

You stupid bitch.

I'm having it.

You stupid fucking bitch.

I'm having it! You stupid fucking bitch!

I'm having it! You stupid fucking bitch!

You're like a string-a-long, like a fucking

shitty-ass job.

It's your life Varnie.

I can't tell you what to do.

It's your decision, just know that your child

will be out there rolling just like one of your

product-less brands.

You can come by anytime you want

or if you want I can give you a call.

Fuck you!

Good morning.