Parks and Recreation

.

- Hey! Hey, guys, listen.

Leslie's gonna walk in and say something

that sounds very boring but is actually a really big deal.

So when I give the signal, just everybody cheer like crazy.

Here we go.

- Well, someone just officially enrolled

in the Senior Executive Service Development Candidate Program

at the Department of the Interior.

Surprise!

- Thanks. It's a big deal.

So my promotion is official.

We need to find a place in D.C.

because we're gonna be splitting our time.

- I guess now is as good a time as any

to make my announcement.

Joe and I just closed on a house in Seattle.

- Whoa! - Oh, my God!

Cheers.

- Well, actually I have an announcement too.

After all these years in government,

I've decided to finally retire.

- This is about people who are moving, Garry.

Not everything is about you. - Good point.

Everyone's scattering.

Well, look at it this way,

bad news comes in threes, right?

We're leaving, April and Andy are leaving,

Donna's leaving, that's three.

Also I'm retiring.

That's three, Garry.

But we're probably due for some good news.

Good evening.

I come to you tonight with some good news...

Hey.

- Is not a sentence I will be saying to you right now,

because beloved Pawnee Mayor Walter Gunderson has died.

Well, you jinxed us, Garry. Thanks a lot.

*

- Walter Gunderson served Pawnee for 39 years.

And as per his final wish,

his body will lie in state

in the city council chambers for a day,

which is just a real cool thing for a public space.

Also, he sent us a brief video message

to be played for this event.

Hello, Pawnee.

My time in office has come to an end.

A lot has been done.

But I wasn't really doing very much.

I wasn't paying attention most of the time.

Fortunately, the citizens of Pawnee

didn't pay attention either.

So if there's credit to take,

I will humbly take it.

And if there is blame...

it's your fault.

Thank you.

Good-bye forever.

Uh, okay.

Well, that was really something.

- People are dying, moving, retiring.

Too many endings. Not enough beginnings.

We need something to begin, and I have just the thing--

an underground dance competition.

I'm realizing I know nothing about the logistics

of how to start an underground dance competition,

but someone here will.

- Hey, April, will you help me out with something?

No.

Apparently as city manager,

I'm in charge of appointing an interim mayor

until the special election.

- So why don't you just appoint yourself?

You're basically running the town anyway.

- Well, I was a mayor once before.

We all remember how that went.

- Oh, yeah, you completely disgraced yourself

and destroyed an entire town.

- Yeah, I said we all remember.

Now, will you help me find someone?

It can be anyone over the age of 30

who's a good symbolic face for the town.

- Fine, whatever. I'll help you, okay?

- Thank you. I told Garry he could help too.

- What? - Oh, notarizing a new mayor,

that is--well, it's like the ultimate notary adventure.

Oh, it's big.

Les-legally Blonde!

Got you a little gift in New York.

You did?

What did you get me? Ooh-la-la.

Men's Ferragamo loafers?

What am I supposed to do with these?

- Yeah, you're right. I should probably keep them.

They're a size 6 1/2. Too small for you anyway.

- How was your trip? - Amazing.

A lot of great meetings.

Plus, Lucy and I had the best time.

It's for real, Leslie.

We even went to a jewelry store and looked at rings.

No!

- Shia LaBeouf is one hell of a jewelry designer, by the way.

Man's really found his calling.

This is perfect.

With everything ending,

you guys are the happy beginning that we all need.

You should propose to her, right now, here.

What better place to ask a woman to marry you

than an old man's public memorial?

- Yeah, I think I'm probably gonna wait.

Plus, Lucy's not in town.

She's in Philadelphia visiting friends.

She gets back tomorrow.

- Yeah, you'd probably want her here for that, right?

- All right, I'm gonna find April.

I got her a really nice Burberry necktie.

- Gunderson was mayor my entire life.

Really makes you consider the "postulence" of time.

Sure.

Death is natural, Andrew.

We're born, we survive as long as we're useful,

and then we're killed,

either by our body's natural decay

or by those younger and stronger.

Speak for yourself.

Before I die, I'm freezing my head like Ted Williams.

Wait a thousand years, thaw it out,

slap it on a robot, keep on balling.

Ron.

Carl.

Donna, Andy, this is Carl.

He owns the deli right next to my barber Salvatore's shop.

It's terrible, isn't it?

First Salvatore and now Mayor Gunderson.

- What? What happened? Explain yourself!

Oh, Ron, you didn't hear?

Salvatore passed away yesterday.

- No. - Jeez.

No, it can't be.

- Was he killed by a younger, stronger barber?

- And now here to say a few words

is Mayor Gunderson's longtime friend and coworker

Ethel Beavers.

- This is gonna be so sad.

They worked together for a long time.

I'll be brief.

Walter Gunderson and his wife

had an open marriage.

It kept him happy. It kept his wife happy.

Hi, Evelyn.

And it definitely kept me happy.

What is happening?

- Because for 46 wonderful years,

he spent night after night

exploring every nook and cranny of my body.

Grow up, you prudes.

We're all adults.

My only regret is that I never told him

how I really felt.

So I'll say it now.

I loved that man.

And not just because he was a dynamite lay.

Good night, you animal.

Tom, listen to Ethel.

Ugh, no, it's too gross.

No, listen to her message.

You can't wait to tell someone how you feel,

because if you wait, before you know it, boom,

46 years later they're gone.

You're right.

We know we want to be together forever.

So why wait? - Exactly.

And I will help you with the proposal.

What do you want to do?

Off the top of my head,

I guess my ideal proposal might be

a multiplatform media experience,

an action movie with explosive graphics,

fast cars, and a hero with one mission--

to propose to his lady.

A hero named...

both: Tom Haverford.

- Okay! - Yes!

.

- Listen, if you can't train 200 white doves

in the next four hours to spell out

"Lucy, will you marry me?"

then you have no business calling yourself a pet store.

- Why can't everyone share our commitment

to the basic concept of outrageous pageantry?

- I don't know, Tom. I really don't.

- Oh, no, what do you want, Leslie?

- Hey, Ian. I need a gigantic banner that says,

"Congratulations, Lucy and Tom,"

and I need it by tomorrow.

- No way. Impossible.

Over the past 15 years,

I have spent nearly $100,000 at your banner store.

I have ordered banners