Gravity Falls

Halt!

I've got to hand it to this perp.

No one's broken out of the infinetentiary before.

He's either the bravest time-convict I've ever seen or the dumbest.

Ow! Ohh!

My time-knee! Oh, time-dang it!

- Definitely the dumbest. - Freeze! You're surrounded by

the time paradox avoidance enforcement squadron.

Anything you say can and already has been used against you in future court.

This is it, Blendin. End of the timeline.

Any last words?

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh... I-I-I-I...

I invoke Globnar!

Globnar!!!

Very well, speak the name and century of those accused.

The two kids that ruined my life,

Dipper and Mabel Pines, 21st century.

So be it.

May time baby have mercy on their souls.

Candy! Candy! Candy! Candy.

- No! It's trapped! - Everything is terrible forever!

Psst. Hey, dudes. You want to know a trick?

Boppity-boop-womp!

A genius taught me that once.

This just in. Weather stations are calling for a candy blizzard!

Forget taking off the wrappers. I'm eating these now!

Soos, you are the greatest human ever to live.

That was a mistake!

Hey, no sweat, dude. I'd do anything for the Pines family.

Soos! I need to scratch myself in two places at once.

And I mean anything.

Coming, Mr. Pines!

Whoa, better make sure he gets his wallet back.

Wait, I've never seen Soos's wallet before.

Don't you want to learn some Soos secrets?

I don't know if we should be... Whoa!

Soos has a membership to Laser Tag?

I didn't know they let grown-ups in there.

And look, emergency salami.

Soos, my respect for you has grown.

Jesus Alzamirano Ramirez,

organ donor, birthday: July 13th.

Wait a minute. That's today.

- Whoa. - That's weird.

I wonder why he didn't tell anyone.

Uh, duh. It's probably because he wants someone

to throw him a surprise party. I can relate.

I've been waiting for a surprise party my whole life.

Surprise!

- Too little, too late, Chiu. - Ohh.

More exclamation points! More, I say!

Wow, you guys thought of everything.

- Grenda, twins are born birthday experts. - We've shared

every birthday together so we know how to make them perfect.

Hey, places, everyone. I hear footsteps.

Everyone, be quiet!

All right, you promised a giant hummingbird,

so I'm expecting to see a giant hummingbird.

Three, two, one...

Huh?

Surprise!

Happy birthday, you king on Earth. We got everything you love.

Cake-flavored pizza. Pizza-flavored cake.

And one more treat.

Razzle dazzle, friends. It's me, the Razz Dazzler.

This is what my life has become.

I...I...

Quick, everyone pose for the birthday smiles memory album.

Soos, what's wrong?

It's, uh, it's nothing. I, uh...

I gotta go fix a pipe or something.

Whoa, did you guys see Soos?

What happened to... Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no.

Okay, you guys didn't know, so it's not your fault,

but Soos hates his birthday.

- What? - It's a total mystery.

I guess he's been like this since he was a kid.

Some weird personal biz.

There's gotta be something we can do.

- We've tried everything. - I even petitioned the government

to have this day removed from calendars.

Now I'm not allowed on airplanes.

I don't know, guys,

maybe we should just leave him alone, you know?

No one should be alone on their birthday.

There's got to be a way to cheer him up. We just need to try harder.

You're right, Dipper!

It's time for us to bring out the big guns.

All right, guys, blindfold me once, shame on you,

blindfold me twice... Wait a minute.

Hot dog smell?

Sticky floors? Future sounds?

Laser Tag? I love Laser Tag.

How did you guys know?

Um. We definitely didn't rifle through your wallet.

Welcome to the year 8,000.

Society? Collapsed.

Fog machines? Everywhere.

Are these walls just mattresses spray-painted purple?

I think this place used to be a mattress store.

I don't know, guys, I'm not sure I'm up for this today.

Don't worry, Soos. As soon as you start playing with us,

you're gonna have a great time.

We promise, no matter what happens we won't leave your side.

Well, I guess, I could give it a shot.

Prepare for laser battle

in three, two...

Uh-oh. Better tie down these cowboys.

Whoa! This is even cooler than I imagined.

Look how real these laser guys are.

Kick deflected.

Thank you for buying Digicod, the smart codpiece.

- Wait, what? - Oh, no.

Soos!

Mabel? Dipper? Dudes?

Soos!

Nice try, but that's solid timetanium, kid.

There's only one way out of here.

Through me!

Oh, uh, sorry. Come on.

Through me! And that's what it would have been like

if I'd just gotten it right the very first chance,

but it still is effective.

The time traveler guy!

What did you say your name was again?

Blendo? Blondin?

- Blarblar. - There it is.

It's Blendin! Blendin Blenjamin Blendin.

How could you not know my name after you ruined my life?!

Initiate flashback!

It was after you stole my time device

to win your stupid pig.

I was cast out of the time anomaly removal crew...

my whole life's purpose.

And then I was given

ten squared life sentences in time prison.

I've spent every day since then planning my vengeance.

And now finally, it has come!

Look, we're sorry about all that, but we're in

the middle of something really important right now.

It's our friend's birthday today,

and we promised we wouldn't leave his side.

What?! You think some dumb birthday matters right now?

- Do you know where you are? - Welcome to Globnar!

- Is this a reality show? - Are we in Japan?

It's gladiatorial time combat!

The winner gets a precious time wish

and then decides the loser's fate.

N-N-No! Please!

And the two of you are officially challenged.

Dundgren! Get me my war paint.

Dipper, we need a way out of here.

- But how? - I have an idea.

Hang in there, Soos, we're coming for you.

Dipper? Mabel? Requesting back-up.

Ah! Ah!

Oh! Ah! Oh, no.

- Laser Robbie. - Dudes?

Oh, my stars. Could it be my little, um...

Lolphy! It's me.

Your great-great-great-great- great-great-great

grandmother from the past times.

Gam-gam?

Yeah, neon green is good. This is a good color for me.

It's fierce... Huh? What? No!

You can't let them escape! Stop there!

Gam-gam, how could you?

I ain't no one's Gam-gam, sucka!

You just got time tricked!

- No! - No!

Hurry! Back to Soos' birthday.

Okay. I think I've got it.

- Uhh. Are we back? - Oh, no! Look!

Mable, the laser place is a mattress store.

- We went too far in the past. - Time travel.

Man, why you gotta be so complicated? Huh?!

Looks like they overshot their destination by 10 years.

I don't see them. You better find those kids!

You'll get your justice, Blendin.

I'm gonna keep stammering until you find them.

I-I-I-I...

- I hate that guy. - Let's move.

Yeah!

Okay, we just got to go forward 10 years.

We can be back before Soos even realizes we were gone.

Oh, no! The timey thing. It's busted.

- Can you fix it? - Maybe. I'll need some tools.

And I think I know where to get some.

Let's try to lay low. We don't want to change the future.

Or cause the future. I forget how this works exactly.

Wow, 10 years in the past.

Everything is samey but also differenty.

Look out Broadway, here I come.

- This dream goes nowhere, Toby! - Aww, marbles.

Whoa. Oops. Sorry.

My friend thinks you're cute.

- Oh, my gosh. Tambry, shut up. - Ow! Hey!

Thank you.

I mean you're super young, so this is weird.

Now you know how she feels, creep.