Bug

Do you know what you've done?

That was a living thing, and you killed it!

And for what? For luck?

What if that bug was a provider?

What if it had a family?

Go on .. go on..

Hold up!!

Hold up!!

Just wait a minute.

I literally pulled up here 30 seconds ago.

Seriously.

Cop: That's it sir

Wallace: So your content with that?

Cop: I'm just doing my job.

Wallace: You could have stopped.

Cop: No, I couldn't.

Wallace: Yes, you could.

Man: I know you.

Cop: You should have thought of that before hand.

Wallace: I have the money!

Cop: Doesn't matter. I'm sorry.

Wallce: I have an 1h and 25 min.

Cop: I can't take the money, sir.

Wallace: Here's for an 1h 25min.

Cop: I don't take money sir.

Wallace: You can just put them in the meter, I mean...

Cop: No, I will not put them in the meter.

Wallace: Well, so is that it? I mean...

Wallace: You couldn't just stop?

Cop: No I couldn't stop.

Cop: According to the municipal code.

Cop: I cannot stop writing a ticket once I started writing it.

Wallace: So that's it, that's it?

Cop: Have a better day, okay?

You don't have to be like this, you know?

You don't have to be this way!

I was trying to teach that boy something!

Damn .. you .. to hell!

Damn you to hell!

Sung.

Sung, come in here!

What is it?

The drain it's clogged.

Yes it is.

Well stick your hand down there and unclog it.

Why don't you do it?

The goop, in my hands.

We're gonna need some draino.

Well buy some.

Good afternoon.

Hey, Dwight can I borrow 5 bucks from you?

A friend will soon bring you a gift.

Great.

You are destined for greatness.

That's a pretty good one.

How about ..

You have a penchant for humor.

Technically, that's more of an observation than a prediction.

We all finished here?

Actually, I think I want some more coffee.

Half cup.

Of course.

I'll just leave it here.

Don't you rush now.

Oh crap.

You have any money?

Oh, damn.

I don't have enough for the right tip.

Let's go to the ATM

No no, no just leave what you have.

The service wasn't that hot anyway.

$4.13 please.

Can I just get one of these?

Sorry can't break up the pack.

Yeah but you're out of singles.

My hands are tied, hands are tied.

C'mon .. you're the only place open.

Yeah we are.

Baby crying and screaming.

Jesus Christ.

I'm so glad we're not having kids.

What do you mean?

I'm not saying you'd make a bad father sweetie

I understand that.

We're not having kids?

We've discussed this.

Turn out the light.

When did we discuss this?

It was at the Science Museum.

There was a family with two kids crying ..

and the parents were all upset.

I turned to you and said: I am so glad

that's not us, and you said: Yeah!

And from that ..

You said you like kids.

No I didn't!

When did I say that?

You ...

It was...

Wll I don't know, you said it.

When?

I don't know!!

You don't know because I never said it.

Well I'm not making this up.

You've known my attitude about it since day 1.

So don't go giving me that surprised look.

Now, turn out the light.

You did say it.

Oh my God, stop it.

Maybe we should rethink things.

Yeah, maybe we should.

Typing: Your girlfriend is lying to you

Your girlfriend is lying to you.

Hey .. we can't use these.

Sure we can.

Dwight.

This is irresponsible.

C'mon .. who's gonna care?

Typing: Your relationship is a farce.

Maybe you should go home for the day.

Who are we to prescribe fate anyway?

Your trip to heaven or hell was predetermined long before you were born.

Huh.

That'd make you a Calvinist.

Yep.

I'm a Bahai myself.

Stop making names up from chicken shit.

Fuck you, I'm tolerant.

You're indecisive.

Oh yeah?

Well I'm your shift manager so you can shut your trap.

Now get back to work and stick to the approved messages.

Typing: Norman is an ass.

You will meet the girl of your dreams.

Shit, shit, shit.

What is it with me?

Are you alright?

Oh, I'm fine I'm fine.

Here, let me help you.

No, I...

Don't worry about it, I've got it.

Here's your oranges.

Back off, okay?

Thank you.

My name is Mitchell.

That's wonderful.

Yeah ..

I like it.

So what's your name?

Please go away.

Woah that's a weird name.

Look, Mitchell?

I'd really like you to leave me alone now.

We didn't just share a moment.

I just tripped.

Okay?

Yeah, but... the fortune cookie ..

Why don't you have dinner with me.

Nope!

I really think we hit it off.

No, now go away.

Look, why not let me give you my number and then think it over?

Right, all right.

Give me your number, then.

Will that get you away from me?

Yes, it will.

My home number is on there too.

Just flip it over.

Good .. thanks .. wonderful.

Well look, here it goes into the bottom of my purse.

Never to be seen again.

I really think you're gonna call me.

Bye!

Hey!

Wait!

Damn it.

Hey .. get away!

Get out. Go away!

Ow!

Hey man, get back here!

Nice lid, asshole!

Thanks a lot, olive.

Is something the matter?

Yes, you're out to ruin me!

I'm not out to ruin you, Ernie.

Then why this hat?

I like it!

Why?

Why this hat?

Why the stripey shirts?

Why the funny dinners?

I make you these things because I think that you'll like them ..

I do it because I love you.

I don't buy it!

You don't ?!

Nope. I think you're trying to embarrass me.

You're being ridiculous.

Am I ? .. am I ??

Because I can't seem to think of any other reason why ..

we can never have a normal day in this house.