Florida Girls

Maxcool, my ass.

It's so hot!

Dude, we got to get out of here or we're gonna

die in these chairs. Let's go to the beach.

Oh, yeah, let's go somewhere that's more hot.

We could sneak into a movie.

- Movies suck. - All movies suck?

All movies that aren't John Wick or John Wick 2.

Well, I'll tell you where we're not going...

Applebee's.

'Cause screw Harold and his stupid-ass chain restaurant

with its stupid-ass Quesadilla Burger.

That thing sucks, and so does he,

thinking he can break up with me.

I'll break up with his ass.

Yeah, we're obviously not going

to your 80-year-old ex-boyfriend's restaurant.

No one was thinking that.

Yo, let's sneak into Surf Lagoon.

We haven't been there in a minute.

Ew! Water parks are white trash toilets.

If I want to drink piss, I'll do it in my own home.

Last time we went, I found a scab in my hair.

Well, last time we went, we were sober.

What if I told you guys

- I could get us some acid? - I'd ask

why you were just bringing that to our attention now.

- Acid? What are we, 13? - Josh Travis

told me that he'd hook me up with free acid

'cause he stole a bunch from Lonnie and them.

Jay, you can't tell me trippin' balls

while floating down a lazy river doesn't sound tight.

- - Besides,

it'll help you keep your mind off Harold.

I am not thinking about that conceited-ass chump.

Do you know he was always acting like I was so lucky

to be with him 'cause I'm so trashy?

If he knew we was going to that water park, he'd be all,

"Told you. You're trash."

But, guess what, we not together no more,

so you best believe I'm getting high and floating down

- that dirty-ass river. - Yeah!

Shelby, trim your bush!

We're going to the water park!

Wait.

Where's the car?

Where's Shelby?

Was she not with us the whole time?

So, we're stuck in this heat?

With no car?

On acid?

Shelby...!

Wow. Looks like a great crew.

Excited to get to know everyone.

There's Mountain Dew,

Red Bull, Monster Energy,

5-hour Energy.

That's all free?

No.

Oh.

Um, Ken, I just wanted

to thank you so much for this opportunity.

- I read the entire CSS manual, -

uh, front and back, and I am ready to sell deregulated gas.

Oh, you're not doing sales.

Everybody starts out in verification.

Verification. That sounds interesting.

It's not.

Hi. I'm Natalie with the Verifications Department.

Just so you know, this call is being recorded.

Wear that headset, listen for the beep,

click that button, read that script,

hang up, listen for the next beep,

and then do it all again for the next eight hours.

Okay. Um, great.

That's even better than sales, 'cause there's no guesswork.

- No chair. Hmm. - And the last four digits

of your credit card are 3411?

Is that correct?

Hi.

I'm Shelby.

- - Hi. I'm Natalie

with the Verifications Department.

Hi. I'm Shelby from the Verifications Department.

Just so you know, this call is being recorded.

Who is it?

Uh, Shelby. Open the door.

What are you doing?

Well, well, well, look who decided to show up.

I can't wait to hear where you've been all day.

Help, Shelby. I'm trapped.

I know. I'm sorry.

Girl, never mind. I'm good.

So, what happened here?

Uh, what happened here is that we took acid

because we wanted to have a fun day at the water park.

But then we didn't have a car. So we've been trapped

in this sweatbox and scared out of our minds

because there's bees everywhere.

Meanwhile,

you've been out having the time of your life without any bees,

doing God knows what.

I was at my new job.

Remember I told you I was getting a telemarketing job?

To save money for my GED?

No one fucking listens to me.

Well, that definitely explains why you're dressed

like a child molester.

No offense to your cousin.

Okay.

- Mmm... - Hi, buddy. Okay.

Am I the only one that had a positive acid experience today?

You? No? All right.

At one point, the earthly boundaries of my body dissolved

and I realized that we are all one.

Like, for example, Kaitlin,

I am you and you are me.

You wish you were me.

Oh...

Okay, you guys need to sober up.

Erica, get dressed.

Kaitlin, please put some pants on.

We got to be at work in ten minutes.

I'll put some pants on,

but I'm not sobering up.

All right, dude, get out of the fridge.

I'm sorry!

Girl, you think I don't want to?

This fucking smudge won't let me leave.

You're talking to a smudge?

She my friend.

I've known her for...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, thank you.

Oh. Okay.

In what way is me having a second job selfish?

Because, to get to your job, you have to take our car.

- "Our" car? - Yes, our car.

Your name might be on the title, but I've given you

so much gas money.

And Jayla's ex bought our new transmission.

Oh, and I sold all our hubcaps.

- What'd you do? - Uh, the point is,

it's everybody's car.

And we shouldn't have to suffer

just because you got some crappy job.

Hey, excuse me, my job happens to be super fulfilling, okay?

I-I have this amazing chair...

That's not a bucket... And no one scares me.

Wow, that sounds like a great job.

Most importantly, I am $48 closer to having my GED,

minus $40 for the uniform

and $3.50 for a Red Bull I drank.

Okay, Smudge. Damn.

- Is she okay? - She's fine.

All right, look, I'm not trying to, like,

take the car away from you guys, okay?

Let's just, like, wake up early tomorrow,

and I'll drop you off at the water park before work.

Oh, yeah, that sounds... that sounds...

that sounds really great, Shelby.

: Let me just, uh, set my alarm so I can be on time

for my water park appointment.

That actually sounds pretty sweet.

I bet Josh would give me some more acid.

Yeah, whatever, I'll do it.

Ooh, I would take acid again.

I don't think mine ever kicked in.

Okay, um... good.

Then, great, all we have to do is wake up at 6:30

so I can be at work at 7:00.