Daddy Cool

You want to look once?

Sure.

Who's...

Not your father then, sir?

He is not my father.

Huh?

He is not his dad, he is not my husband.

Sorry, sir!

First time this happened with the Karan Company.

Maybe...ID cards were exchanged.

We will bring your father's body.

- Nancy! - Huh?

Nancy, you won't believe what happened.

- They brought the wrong body. - What?

Yeah! It's good that I saw the face.

Otherwise, I would have given my speech for some stranger.

What are you saying? You're going to give the funeral speech?

Of course! Why?

In your brother brian's presence?

Brian has written 15 hit novels.

It's not just me. Everyone will be expecting the speech from him.

But Brian isn't the elder brother.

And then dad always loved me the most. So, naturally, I will give the speech.

Fine! You give the speech.

Just finish the funeral formalities

so that we can move into our new house

- But this is our house. - and then we can start our own life.

Nancy. Nancy, we should talk about that once again.

This house has dad's memories.

You know, this is the house he built.

His memories...

- But what...about my mom? - You've served your parents for a long time.

Give Brian a chance to serve. Let him take your mother.

I can't live a minute longer with her.

If I stay here,

then Karan Company will get another contract for a coffin.

I'll die.

And then you can give your speech again.

- You never seem to understand. - OK, OK, OK.

Within a few days we will do something about the flat, I promise.

A few days?

Today, I called the estate agent to come here.

- He must be on his way... - On the way? I am here, madam.

- Who? What are you doing in my bedroom? - No problem, sir. I'm comfortable.

- What do you mean you're comf...? - Sorry to hear about your father, sir.

- How did your father die? - Heart Attack.

He was jogging.

- How fast was he going? - 10.5.

People say, sir, speed thrills, but kills.

Uh-huh. Steve.

Sign and give him the deposit, my darling.

- Steve? - Yeah, mom, coming.

- One Minute. - No problem. I'm comfortable.

Thank you.

- Shit! - Don't pretend. Lust is showing in your eyes, Carlos.

- You're crazy about women. - Come on, man, Jenny. I was just being a gentleman.

I stopped the car so she could cross the street.

You wouldn't have allowed me to cross.

You might have even run over me.

Enough now, for God's sake. You just need to think about it.

Have you ever seen me in any hanky panky?

- Why do I care if somebody's panky. - If I had seen you,

then today I wouldn't be going my uncle's funeral but yours.

Jen, I just respect women, and that's all.

I give respect to a woman, and in return take her respect.

Maria! Why are you taking me to the funeral?

You just don't wanna come because my dad will be there.

- Yes...no, no... He hates me, right? - Not that much.

My dad's sister's husband has died. And I want you to come and be a part of our family.

Why are you so scared?

Have you forgotten that Christmas dinner evening?

Where your father was cutting mutton...and staring at me.

It seems he wasn't cutting mutton but getting ready to eat me alive.

Mike, why are you acting like this? Stay calm, Mike.

You should handle everything peacefully.

Look out! You dirty swine! Can't you see the bright red sign, damned Fuehrer?

So what I was saying?

- That you should handle everything peacefully. - Suckers!

- Finally! - If you don't like it, drive yourself.

Listen to him, Maria. Can you believe him. Come on now. Don't be a chicken.

Shake your miserable doodle of a backside. We'll be late for the appointment.

You're a son-of-a-dog, you know that, huh?

I am Steven's best friend.

So we have to go. The point...why are you going?

I met mom twice, basically. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but the first time...

I said "hi" from far away. And the second time was on the mall's lift on the third level for a floor.

You know all people that much, so you'd have to attend all of Goa's funerals.

I know that I have hurt him. I get it. Maria...

Why bring this idiot, he simply is not funny. He speaks before he thinks.

Yep.

Look at this. How irresponsible.

Maybe I talk too much, but you've misplaced your diamond earring. Why?

It's not my earring.

I don't wear such cheap earrings.

- Whose earring is this, Carlos? - It's not mine, Jenny.

I swear on my life, I don't know whose this is! Clients come in the car. Anybody can come in the car.

You liar! You're going to get it this time!

Jenny! Jenny! Stop, Jenny. I'm driving a car now! I'm driving a car! Jenny! I'm driving...

But, sir, the flat is across from the sea.

People with a family like having a flat near the sea.

You see, the flat is facing the sea, and it will be your flat.

- Shit! - There is also a space for shit.

- Please! Nancy, I forgot to pick up Uncle Murphy. - No problem, no problem.

Hello... Yeah... Hello.

- Hey, Carlos! Problem with Uncle Murphy. - What?

- Is he also dead? - No, man.

Why do you always think like that? Problem is, I forgot to pick up uncle Murphy.

Will you do that for us, please.

Huh. OK, whatever.

OK, thank you, Carlos. Thank you. I owe you one. Thanks.

This flat's frontage is to the sea. You will be comfortable, sir!

Do you understand

that you can dive from your flat?

Hey, Wilson. You always complained that you didn't get enough kick in my stuff.

You better watch tonight's party.

Every capsule is a 2-inch bazooka bazooka.

Each copy is an UFO. Unidentified Flying Object.

Yes, we will meet after the funeral. Coming! Yeah, coming, coming!

Have you gone mad? You think I haven't concealed the drug?

I'm transporting the drug in a Relaxo bottle. An ordinary Relaxo bottle. Nobody will suspect.

It's gonna blow your mind. Coming! Coming, coming. Wait!

Maria, my baby sister. Michael, what's up, bro, what's up.

- You are naked? - I am not naked, I'm wearing shorts.

Okay, forget it, I will be back, wearing pants. Sit down.

- Michael, are you coming to the funeral? - Yeah!

What am I, the only bad one? You got guts, man. You're crazy. Especially after last Christmas' party.

How dad was staring at you while cutting the mutton?

It seemed that he was going cut off your ball... Harry, shut up!

- Excuse me? What? - Give up. - One gets a cook.

Michael, see how fully she keeps him on a tight leash. Mike don't know jack.

- Huh? - Michael, you OK? - No.

Maria, people die first, then they go to the funeral.

Me? I will go to the funeral first, then I will die.

- Maria, your father's going to kill me. He's gonna kill me... - Nothing like that will happen. You just...

- Relaxant. -Huh?

- Just have one of these. - What is this? - It'll calm you down. Relaxant.

- You sure? - Yes, yes. - Well, mabye... OK. I have it.

- You sure? - Yes, dear.

Come on, sis. Come on, my going-to-be brother-in-law.

Michael, give me the keys. I will drive.

Love to love you, baby.

Sir, you called me?

Sandra...Income Tax Officer, Mr. Douglas, has died.

Unfortunately, I can't make it, so on my behalf send some flowers, OK?

- OK, sir. - Thank you, love.

- Hello. - Mr. Carlos? Hi. Ayesha here.

Ayesha. God's timing, not to worry, sweetheart.

I was just looking at your photographs.

For my new ad campaign I need a...hot girl like you.

The visuals, visually are becoming clear in my mind.

On the beach, two-piece suit.

You are running on the beach in high speed.

You are running and you fall down.

Turn pain turns into pleasure...Apply...Ohhh!

Wow, it sounds very good, sir. I mean, I would love to do it. But before that you have to fall down on my couch

Huh? Oh. We can, ah, practice the "Oh, Ah, Ouch" on my couch?

- You see, to get something... - Then we have to take a nap?

Ha! I sleep with my wife.

I want to be...awake with you.

Ah, but Mr. Carlos, I've never seen you before. I mean, how would I recognize you?

Simple, sweetheart. I'm known as the man in black. Carlos always wears a black suit with a tie.

Fine, then. Ah, what's the address?

- Hello. - Sir, to sent flowers, I'll need the address, please.

- Write down the address. - Yes, sir. (Yes, sir.)

- 34 Ring Road, - Yes. (Yes, sir.)

- Spring Lane, - Yes, sir. (Yes.)

- Go off at 55. - OK, sir, thank you very much. (Yes, sir, I'm on my way.)

- Hello. - Oh!

The number you have dialed in not reachable. Please call again later.

Out of reach? How would she reach?

Good. Thank you.

Steven, Brian called from the airport.

- He will be here in a few minutes. - OK.

Darling, would you mind removing your hand?

The coffin is getting stained.

Fish is the queen of water.

Fish is the queen of water.

Water is her life.

If you touch her, she will be scared.

If you take her out, she will die.

- Maria! - Yeah? - There's been a dog in the car.

- What? - I'm sure that it was a dog.

Who let the dogs out! Who! Who! Who let the dogs out! Who! Who!

There's Uncle Murphy! Stop, stop.

- Uncle Murphy! We have arrived. - Where have you been, scoundrel?

- Hello...Hello. - Oh, Brian, my son.

Your dad left me alone.

He didn't think once about how I would live without him.

- By the way, did you have any problems on your flight? - Ah, it was crazy, mom. Very.

- Eh, Steven. - Hi, bud.

Though I can't tell you kids really how bad the weather was. Really. Hi, Nancy.

Nancy, you know, dad's death didn't shock me as much as the plane shook me up.

My back...it hurts.

Do you know how much a first-class ticket costs?

You know, it doesn't matter how much you pay, airplane crashes,

instead of landing, you take off to God.

You're like a bloody dead dog, mom.

Mom! Mom.

What? Have I said something wrong?

- Fuck, you just spoke about death, Brian. - So?