They Went That-A-Way & That-A-Way

Couldn't ask for a prettier day.

Pretty tune.

Catchy.

Music can be soothing, too, you know that, don't you?

That's what I hear. Yeah.

You know, that's how they got the Romans to march great distances

without getting tired.

Constant thump of the drum drove them on. Saw that in a movie.

Stump.

Oh, shut up!

What's the matter with you?

I saw that movie, that's...

Cut it out.

Check in with Bill.

Car One, Car One to Red Leader. Car One to Red Leader, come in!

Car One to Red Leader, Car One to Red Leader, come in.

Yeah.

Who is this?

- It's Bill. - Oh, good. Just checking. Wanna make sure.

Hello. Hello.

Hi, Roy!

Car One.

Thing must've conked out again.

- Hello. - Is this Bill Davis?

Yes, it is.

One moment for Governor Clark, please.

Your party is on the line, sir.

Thank you. Bill!

Hi, Ron, I thought they'd impeach you by now.

Very funny. How'd you like to have your taxes raised, wise guy?

- How have you been? - Great.

Listen, Bill, I wonder if you could do me a little favor.

We've got some fellas from up here headed down your way this weekend. They're due at 1:00.

Sure, send them on down.

Bill's a nice guy, you know that? Couldn't ask for a better boss.

Yeah, terrific.

We wanted to be detectives.

And after a whole year, do you know what I learnt?

You can't whistle.

Hey! Gosh!

Car One, we've got a live one. We're on our way.

Going! Here we go!

You just spilled coffee over my best clothes.

Where are you going? We're going south on Six.

Will you slow down? I can't, the pedal's stuck.

Hey, there's Mrs. Pruitt! Hi!

Will you please be careful?

Can't be the only ones that washed their siren.

Will you get this thing back on the road?

You're getting kind of touchy, you know that.

Never mind!

Just follow the road.

Hold on a minute, Ron!

Get that pedal unstuck!

Want me to call Bill and tell him we're gonna be late?

Yeah, call Bill and tell him we're gonna be dead!

Doesn't this thing ever run out of gas?

Say, Ron, I hate to ask you, but, uh, you think you could do me a little favor?

I got a couple of boys working for me down here that are really tops.

I mean, they really know their way around.

Put the brakes on, you bonehead!

I can't! It doesn't do any good. The motor's goin' too fast!

Huh? Aw, come on, let me help you!

I'll get it! Hey, did I tell you the right front tire's low?

The hell with the right front tire! Who's driving this thing?

Oh, they can handle anything.

Well, if they're interested you send them up to see me.

Oh, that's great. They'll be flying when they hear about that.

Oh, that was my boys that just drove in.

I'm going fishing now. Bye, Ron.

I like adventure in a man.

This won't hurt your chances for advancement when you complete this.

Now, here's the project.

Twelve years ago, when I was Prosecuting Attorney,

I convicted this man, Butch Collins.

I want you to take a good look at him.

He was sentenced to 20 years for armed robbery.

There was over $200,000 in government funds

that were never recovered,

but we believe that Butch Collins knows where that money's hidden.

The only thing is, he won't talk.

Your job is to get that information.

What I want you to do is pose as prisoners

of the Goose Creek Prison Farm where Butch is.

From then on, it's your job to get the information however you can.

Now, this is a great opportunity for you boys.

Hell, it kind of reminds me of when I first started practicing law.

I was struggling along with a practice and,

um, something was given to me that seemed unimportant at the time.

Well, as it turned out, I won the case.

And it was brought to the attention of the Mayor of the city.

He congratulated me and asked if I'd like to join his staff.

Well... I jumped at the opportunity.

Couple of years later, I was head of that staff.

You see, that's one great thing about this country of ours.

Any man can succeed in pulling himself up to great heights,

especially couple of bright, young men such as yourselves.

Now I can tell how capable you both are.

Well, this could mean a great deal to you.

You never know where that break's gonna come, so

I believe in taking advantage of everything that comes your way.

You know something? This could be it!

Now, remember boys, you're going in to a den of lions.

Oh, I wish I was a younger man. I'd go with you.

You'll be in there with thieves, cut-throats, the dregs of society.

Same man who smiles at you and offers you a cigarette in the morning,

may turn around and slash your throat for a candy bar at night.

Now, don't let a kind face fool you.

Can't judge a crook by his color.

That's not half bad!

Should use that at the lodge some time.

But, anyhow, my staff

has been instructed to disavow any knowledge of your identity.

Now, I'll draw up some papers and prove you're real prisoners.

So, you'll be treated like any other prisoner.

I'm gonna give you one month to get the information.

Now, at the end of the month, if you haven't got it,

I'm just gonna have to call you off the job

and we'll just have to write the whole thing off.

That's it!

We can do it, sir.

All right, we're gonna send you down to the prison farm Saturday.

When you get there, you're on your own. You're just two more cons.

Remember just the three of us know about this, so good luck.

Mum's the word.

If you foul up, you eat your hearts out, you understand?

What did you say?

All right, get out of there.

What?

Out!

Is this it?

No, we're stopping at Howard Johnson's.

Oh, well, get a maple nut in a sugar cone, I'll be...

Get out!

Get over here.

Go scare up Billy Joe.

Wait right there.

Billy Joe!

Here we go.

Beauts, ain't they?

Both got 10 years for armed robbery.

This here is Pork face Wallace.

The one on the end with the glazed eyes is Dewey.

He wants a maple nut in a sugar cone.

Good luck, boy.

Okay, who did that?

Uh, the big guy right on the end there.

Old Brick, huh?

You know what? That letter in my back pocket's for you.

From Fat Lucy.

And you ain't gonna get it neither!

Well...

Okay, you clowns.

Warden's gonna come out here now.

He's gonna tell you what's up

and you're gonna get to work.

Hey, hey, hey. Huh?

Shh! What do you mean, "Shh"?

He's the one who threw a rock at me, so I'll throw it right back at him.

I know, I know, but we gotta work and live with these guys.

Give me this. Stop.

Say! What the hell you done brung to me now, Billy Joe?

Good God!

You two are off to a good start.

Okay, attention, you clowns!

This here's Warden Warden,

better known to you all as Gunner, and he don't take nothing from nobody!

So don't you go getting any ideas.

But he's a fair man.

You do right by him, and he'll do right by you.

And now, here's your warden.

My name is Warden Warden.

But you can call me Gunner. I want you two to get this straight.

I don't take nothin' from nobody so don't nobody get any ideas.

I'm a fair man. You do right by me and I'll do right by you.

Did I forget anything? No, that about gets it.

Billy Joe'll show you where your quarters are.

Now, check the worksheet in the morning and stay straight,

'cause if you don't...

That's all.

Gunner? Where do you want me to put them?

Find a place for 'em.

Do I gotta do everything around here?

Okay, you clowns!

Now follow me. Come on. Heel!

You nuts!

Get!

Excuse me. Is that the carwash?

That's the warden's wife.

Very religious woman.

If you get any funny ideas...

Okay, you clowns. This here is home.

We'll have dinner in 15 minutes

in C building that's right across here.

Lights out at 8:00, up at 6:00.

Now, we grow what we eat here.

You don't grow nothin', you don't eat!

You all get your work order tomorrow morning.

Hey.

Which one of these beds do we sleep in?