The Comedians

_

Pretty good.

- You're good. - Pretty good.

- Hey, thank you so much. - _

- _ - You have been a great crowd.

Yeah, this was our first taping,

and you guys really set the bar audience-wise.

Really, you were really, really great.

Were there some places you could have been

a little bit better? Yes.

You got the jokes.

- It just took you a minute. - Yeah.

But you were really great.

You were really great!

Yeah, and you guys...

you'll work on it.

- Good night, everybody! - Good night, guys!

- Great. - See you again.

You want to explain to me what that was all about?

- What? - Your little improv thing

in the sketch. What was that about?

Oh, yeah, that? That just popped in my head.

- That was funny, right? - Popped into your...

No, it's not funny.

You implied that I groped you.

Yeah, well, it got a laugh.

It totally sold out my character.

What is that?

Billy, Billy, all due respect,

your character had already gotten us lost in the woods

and eaten half of the troop.

- I'm not sure what we're discussing... - Because I'm a cannibal, not a pedophile!

You have to eat.

You never have to molest a child.

Well... well, I don't know what to tell you.

- Larry thought it was funny. - Larry thought it was funny?

- Guys, guys! That was kickass. - Yeah?

- You guys did a great job. - I'd like to kick your ass for...

Why? What?

Well, because you're letting him throw in lines at the end

in front of a live audience, and you don't tell me anything?

I don't even know what you're talking about.

- What are you talking about? - The little line you gave him

at the end suggesting

that I'd cupped his balls... That was your idea?

- Yeah, that was funny! - Wrong kind of funny!

It killed the sketch!

- That's the nature of improv. - Billy, hey, hey, guys...

You're gonna explain to me the nature of improv?

Could you guys hang on one second?

- Hang on one second, please. - Yeah.

I'm not comfortable with this.

I'm not comfortable getting in the middle of this.

You're right, you're right. I'm sorry.

I'll take you out of the middle of this.

You're fired, you bearded prick!

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - What are you talking...

What are you doing? You can't fire him.

I just did. I recognized my voice.

Good-bye, go sleep under the viaduct.

- You'll fit right in. - Fine, fine.

I'm gonna go do that right now.

No, that's great, Billy. That's real mature.

Let's do that. No, this is good.

No, no, no, no, this is good.

Billy, let's fire everybody.

Let's just fire the director.

Guys, let's fire the director.

We're gonna fire props too.

Let's fire the set!

Let's just fire this big, yellow phone.

- Josh, Josh. - This is bullshit.

_

I'm excited. I'm real excited.

I'm on my way to FX to hear,

hopefully, the good news about my, uh, about my latest show,

The Billy & Billy Show.

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

I'll have what I'm having.

We got a great show. Bruno Mars is here.

We'll be right back.

And apparently, they love it

because they're bringing me in.

They don't bring you in

to give you bad news. Believe me.

That, they call.

Or they, um,

they text.

What do you mean, I didn't test well?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

You tested great. They... they love you, right?

Um, the show tested...

poorly... somewhat poorly.

How is that possible? I am the show.

And I think that maybe that's where we are running

into a little bit of trouble.

You're playing all the characters.

You're in every scene.

Um, we're worried that we run the risk of too much...

you.

So, uh, okay. Uh, what are you proposing?

Are you familiar with Josh Gad?

Comedy is like heart surgery.

It gets botched all the time.

All the time.

But...

if you keep it loose and you don't, you know,

overthink it,

you can...

you can fix people's hearts.

I loved you in Wolf of Wall Street.

Um, uh...

Thank you.

Did you see Book of Mormon?

Yeah, I saw it twice.

He was one of the leads.

The fat one or the gay one?

No, Joshs the f... Uh, he's not the gay guy.

He's... that I know of. Is he?

- Mm... - No.

Uh, we're big fans. We're big fans.

In fact, we think he could be...

well, he could be the next you.

Really?

Okay, so when he's me, can I be Clooney?

You know, we have a... a little wrinkle

we'd like to propose.

A wrinkle?

Just a little wrinkle that we think

will keep what we all love

about The Billy & Billy Show.

And wrinkle it.

We think the two of you together

would be a slam dunk.

When I found out Billy Crystal wanted to work with me,

um, nobody was more excited than my grandparents.

Obviously, you're flattered.

Guy's a living legend.

I was also very impressed.

You know, for a guy in his position

at this stage to realize how there comes a point

in your career when it's time to,

you know, play more of a...

supporting role,

it's brave.

We'd love you to meet with Josh.

He's a big fan.

I don't work with fans.

Hey, you know what?

We have a poster we dummied up with the two of you...

Don't, don't, don't, don't. Stop it.

Um, see, here's the thing.

Without Josh,

the show doesn't meet our programming needs at this time.

Hey!

Oh, no. Kiss the ring.

I usually never know who I'm meeting.

I don't know their faces.

But you I've seen all over Starz Family recently.

It's so good to see you.

How are you?

Oh, I'm good. I'm a little nervous.

But I'm feeling good.

Don't be nervous, you know...

Listen, I just gotta tell you.

I saw Book of Mormon three times.

No, you're kidding me.

- Yes. - You must be very wealthy.

Must be. Must be.

Oh, fantastic. It was fantastic.

Oh, it is... It is such a kick.

You, sir, have got to do it.

You've gotta try Broadway.

You would get the bug.

It is... it is so much fun.

I did Broadway...

with my one-man show,

700 Sundays.

We won a Tony, and

it's pretty much one of the highest grossing non-musicals

- in Broadway history. No, no, no, no. - You're kidding me.

- Congratulations. - Yeah.

- No, I don't... - It's okay.

I don't even know why I never even...

It's all right.

Oh. What was it about?

It's a story that my dad died when I was 15.

Wow, that sounds so powerful.

Yeah, it was... It was, uh, good.

You want to sit down?

Okay, the wild berry mojito

with the grilled cheese and a side of fries

and with all the dipping sauces on the side

in their own individual...

And I don't want to be a pain in the ass,

but you guys don't have gluten-free bread, do you?

We don't. I'm so sorry.

It's fine. It's my cheat night.

I'll get a... you know what?