Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Anything?

Nothing yet.

Aah!

Guys, when ninjas are on surveillance,

they are supposed to be silent.

Sorry, Leo. I'll scream quieter.

Ah! Ugh!

- Say it. - Raph, be quiet!

Not till Mikey says it.

Raphael is all-wise and powerful.

And?

And he's better than me in every possible way.

And?

And I'm a lowly worm beneath his feet,

who isn't fit to live on the same planet as him,

because he's so amazing and I'm a dirt clod.

And?

And in the history of the universe

there's never been...

Okay, enough.

We're wasting our time.

The kraang aren't gonna show up.

Have a little patience, will you?

Trust me, guys.

They're gonna break into that lab tonight.

I have reliable intel.

Intel?

You mean April told you.

You mean your girlfriend?

She's not my girlfriend, Mikey.

She's a girl who's a friend,

whose dad got kidnapped by the same aliens

who are gonna break into that lab.

And we're gonna stop 'em.

Or we'll sit out on a cold roof all night

for no reason.

What the heck's going on up here?

What, are you playing dress up?

No, sir, we were just...

Which one of you slimy green ham shanks

busted my satellite dish?

Ham shanks?

I don't even know what that means.

Me neither.

But I don't like it.

Let's go.

That's right, you spineless cream puff!

Listen to your mommy.

Hey! Watch it, buddy.

Oh, no.

I didn't know you had salad tongs.

Salad tongs?

I'm not gonna take this

from some greasy, pit-stained slob

with a comb-over!

You calling me ugly?

Seen a mirror lately, circus freak?

- Raph, don't! - You want a piece of me?

When I'm done,

a piece of you is all that's gonna be left!

Kraangdroids!

Holy Toledo!

Way to blow our position, Raph.

Scram!

Holy cow.

They're some kinda...

Kung fu frogs.

Hiya!

Yah!

Keep going, kung fu frogs.

This is pure gold.

We're not frogs, you idiot!

Yeah, and it's not kung fu.

It's an ancient Japanese battle art.

Guys, he got us on video.

Not for long, he doesn't.

I'm gonna make a fortune off of this!

Fire truck's en route.

30 seconds. - Let's move.

Wait! We have to find that guy

and break his phone, and his face!

Not only did Raphael alert the Kraang,

but you got caught... On video.

Sensei, he was the angriest, nastiest guy

you ever met.

Except for you. Ow!

You should have heard the insults

this guy was throwing at us.

They were so... Insulting!

Oh, I did not realize he said mean things.

Of course, you had no choice but to jeopardize your mission.

Burn.

You are ninjas.

You work in the shadows, in secret.

This becomes difficult if there is proof of your existence

in high-definition.

Look, we know where this guy lives.

All we need to do is find him

and shake him until the tape pops out.

Oh, there's no tape.

Video phones use flash memory.

Anger is self-destructive.

I always thought it was others-destructive.

Raphael!

Stand up.

Somebody's in trouble.

- Evade the arrows. - No problem.

Hajime!

Ya me!

Again, except this time,

Leonardo, donatello, and Michelangelo,

insult Raphael.

Wait. Insulthim?

Yes.

And he can't fight back?

No.

I'm feeling good about this plan.

Hajime!

You move like a bloated buffalo.

I do not!

And you're always whining.

"Poor me. Nobody understands me."

- Yeah. - Well, you don't understa...

Gah!

And... Oh!

You don't keep your back straight

when doing omote kote gyaku.

- Gah! - And you're ugly!

Ooh!

And gassy.

Bull's-eye! - Stop it!

Oh, you talk so tough,

but inside, you're just a scared little baby.

Who needs his bottle?

- And his diaper changed? - Ah!

What's the matter, Raph?

Gonna cry? - Ah!

I am... ooh... not gonna cry!

I wish this moment could last forever.

You know what?

Forget this. This is stupid.

It didn't.

Ninniku seishinis the ability to endure insults

with patience and humility.

You cannot be a true ninja until you master it.

Understood?

Hai,sensei.

You must get that video back.

Using reason, not force.

That's right.

I swear on my mother's grave

that these guys are frogs

and they know kung fu.

You can't tell me that's not worth something.

Ah!

I'll call you back.

Lay one finger on me, frog,

and I'm calling the cops.

We're not gonna hurt you.

Then what do you want, freak?

We got off on the wrong foot last night.

Some things were said, and well,

we would just like that video back.

Hmm?

Please?

What are you gonna give me for it?

Give you for it?

Well, I figure I've got you over a barrel,

so you've got to make it worth my while.

I'll make it worth your while.

I won't take your hand and smash it against the...

Okay, okay, thank you, Raphael.

I will take over.

So what are you looking for?

A cool mil ought to cover it.

Mmhmm, mm-hmm. A cool mil of what?

A million dollars.

We don't have a million dollars.

We do have some Canadian quarters

that fell through the grate.

I can make serious money off this thing.

And if you don't want to pay,

I'll hold on to it until someone else does.

That's it!

Hand over the video or, so help me,

I'll kick your hairy butt all the way to New Jersey!

- Guys! The Kraang! - Raph!

Look out!

Let's not let this one get away.

Well, that was easy.

Ooh-kay.

Whoo! Hah!

Yah! Wah!