Last Man Standing

Later, 'rents.

Later, 'aughter.

Have fun at, uh, 'ool.

What are we gonna do with all the time we just saved?

I am in a hurry.

My civics class is taking a field trip to the State Capitol building.

We get to watch our bloated government in action.

"Inaction" is all you're gonna experience.

- Love ya. Bye. - Drive safe.

Okay.

Mother, father.

I have an important announcement to make.

A virtual impossibility, but go ahead.

You want to take notes, or should I?

Aw.

Okay, first off, I want to thank you guys

for letting me operate Mandy Baxter Designs

out of the basement for the last two years.

We wanted a Wetzel's Pretzels,

but I don't think we had the foot traffic. (Chuckles)

Well, business has been so good that I need a bigger space.

Seriously? You're thinking of moving Mandy Baxter Designs out of the house?

And maybe even Mandy Baxter?

Oh, just stop it.

Move out?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, my announcement is that I need more of the basement.

Why would I move out? (Laughs)

Because that's what people your age do.

They move out, take their stuff with them, and get their own cellphone plans.

Yeah. Haven't you been up with the news, dad?

The new thing with your generation

is to have your kids live with you a lot longer.

Uh, not really sure that's our generation's thing, Mandy.

No, no, no.

Our generation's thing is to work hard

and give our kids everything they want and need.

And that seems to have backfired.

We millennials like to take our time

with the big life events like marriage and kids and our own cellphone plan.

Listen, you know, if Steve Jobs had never moved out of the garage,

we wouldn't have an Apple store at every corner

with some geeky nerd talking down to us when we buy an iPhone.

Well, Kyle and I are gonna go have breakfast.

That gives you guys plenty of time to discuss

and then move all your things out of the basement.

Mandy, honey, you can live here as long as you want. Thank you.

And, Mike, you really need to let that incident at the Apple store go.

Listen, just because you can download an app,

that doesn't make you a genius, all right? Okay.

And that is most boring "bar" I've ever been to. (Door opens, closes)

You want a double hard drive with that?

No, thanks.

Hey, you wanted to see me, Mr. Alzate?

Yes, come in. Come in, Kyle. Come on, come on.

Is... is Mike out there?

Uh, no, sir. He left for the day.

Good. 'Cause I don't want anyone else to see this.

Uh, if it's the baseball hat with the ponytail, it's not super convincing.

I (Clears throat)

I bought this for Wendi.

Yeah, I'm gonna ask her to marry me.

Oh, congratulations, sir.

I don't want Mike to know.

I know he's not Wendi's biggest fan, so...

Oh, that's good, because then he would probably want to propose to her, too,

and I would not want to go up against that guy.

Kyle... Kyle... you know, it's ironic that his eyes are ice blue,

yet they could melt any woman's heart.

I'm gonna pretend you're done talking and just jump in, all right?

I need you to take this to Stedman's Jewelers and get it resized.

Okay? Yes, sir.

You can count on me. Okay.

And, remember...

Please, I don't want any grief from Mike, so don't say anything, okay?

No, to Mike. You can still talk.

That's a relief, 'cause I wanted to say "okay,"

but then I was caught in a paradox.

Okay.

Okay, good. Good, good. (Chuckles)

That was exhausting.

Geez. (Sighs)

Hey, what you got there?

Oh, uh, Mr. B.

I-I-I thought you were gone for today.

I was. Now I'm back.

I'm unpredictable.

What is that?

Oh, nothing. Just my cellphone.

Yeah?

Kind of small for a cellphone, isn't it?

Maybe that's because when you're far away, things look smaller, but...

You know, now that you're up close, it probably looks regular sized.

Yep. See?

Was that an engagement ring?

Look, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you

to forget about the thing you thought you saw.

Really? Really?

It's kind of a big step, Kyle.

If I don't like it, I'm gonna let you know that, you know?

Well, with all due respect, Mr. Baxter,

it doesn't really matter what you think.

Whoa.

Did you really say that?

Wow. You look a lot bigger up close.

You're sure it was an engagement ring?

Yeah. Oh.

I'm sure of that. As soon as I saw it, all the old feelings came back. Oh.

The cold sweats, the second thoughts...

...being the happiest, luckiest man in the world.

Mm.

Kyle is gonna propose to Mandy.

Oh, this is amazing.

Yeah, I guess.

Why do you sound like you have a problem with it?

I don't know. You know, they've been dating a long time,

and he's kind and considerate.

I get all that.

Yeah, well, he goes to church.

He takes care of his grandmother.

That's a lot more good stuff than we could say about Mandy.

So... so what's the problem?

I just wish he was more ambitious.

I mean, at work, he's basically a sales clerk, and he's okay with that.

Honey, you know, you're always saying that

as a father, the most important thing to you

is that our girls are loved, cared for, and protected.

That's... that's Kyle, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And some large-breed dogs.

Oh, oh.

Do you remember what Mandy said this morning

about millennials waiting to get married?

Yeah. I mean, what if she turns him down?

Kyle might never ask again.

That kid is really sensitive... yeah.

...and Mandy is Mandy.

Oh, come on. She's not that bad. Stop.

I don't know how our mailman can be that fat when he walks for a living.

And, by the way, he doesn't know, either.

Let me do the talking. Don't... don't give up anything.

Right, right, right. Poker face.

Hey, Mandy, your mom and I were thinking

about that millennial thing where you're putting off

important decisions till later.

Kind of wondering if...

Kyle's gonna ask you to marry him!

That was a poker face?

You were taking forever.

Kyle's gonna propose?

Honey, he, uh... he got you an engagement ring.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

He's taking me somewhere special for dinner tomorrow night,

but he wouldn't tell me where.

He said he wanted to surprise me.

Y-you don't have to say yes if you don't want to.

Yeah, I-if you're not sure, I mean,

you just need to figure out a way to tell Kyle gently.

Are you kidding? I love Kyle.

Why would you think I wouldn't want to marry him?

Because of what you said this morning.

You're putting off big decisions, not getting married,

not getting your own cellphone plan...

It's all in your mom's notes.

No.

That's the other thing about millennials.

You can't believe anything we say.

Which is why we're happy you come along only once every 1,000 years.

Shh.

Honey, honey.

So, um, so... so, you gonna say yes?

I guess I am.

Mom, I'm gonna say yes.

She's gonna say yes!

Ooh. Mike, join us.

Hey, I'm good over here. I see a big snot bubble forming.

Hey, Mr. B? I'm taking off.

Got a big date tonight.

Yeah, Mandy said you're taking her someplace special.

Yeah, my favorite taco truck.

The food is great, and the horn doesn't play "La Cucaracha."

Ah.

I like a truck that thinks outside the box.

You know, I've never smacked you in the head, but let's pretend I just did.

Okay.

Ow. What was that for?

A taco truck?

Your idea of taking her to a special restaurant

is a restaurant that needs to pass a smog test.

How about a place like Leonardo's?

Oh, I-I can't afford that.

Plus, even if they had tacos,

they'd probably be those fancy ones with, like...

Chicken.

Let's just pretend I smacked you in the head again.

A taco truck? Come on!

It would be great if sometimes you would just aim a little higher.

I see.

You want me to live beyond my means.

Got it. No, no, no. That's not what I mean.

I mean dream beyond your means.