The Simpsons

The Simpsons - Season 20 Episode 03 "Double, Double, Boy in Trouble"

Stupid shopping list, turning food into work.

- Bart! - Look at me! I'm doin' something!

You better settle down, boy,

or I'll drag you into the blind spot of that security camera.

and beat you with one of those big thick women's magazines

with all the ads in it!

Mr. Homer, why don't you forget your worries with this...

the last lottery ticket on the roll.

They say the last one is lucky!

Unlike all the others.

Lucky!

Or not.

Hmm, you make a good case. I'll take it!

Dad, look at me! Look at me!

Cannonball!

No!

I'll take that last lottery ticket, Apu.

Again!

I won! I won!

$50,000! Ponder this, Homer.

This ticket would have been yours if your kid hadn't been screwin' around.

That is true. Another ironic "Tale of the Kwik-E-Mart."

You just cost me $200,000!

- I thought it was 50. - I was gonna bet it on the dogs!

All the groceries seem to have been balled up in anger.

That kid has become a Dennis-level menace!

Now, Homer, boys will be boys.

Bart cost us $50,000!

I'm going to Moe's.

Lenny, Lenny, he's our guy!

Got the ticket Homer didn't buy!

Oh, cheer up, Homer. The drinks are on Lenny.

I don't want your pity booze. I'll pay for it myself.

Uh, I gotta check with Lenny on that. Uh, is that all right,

Nope, Lucky Lenny's buying all the drinks tonight.

Sorry, Homer, but here's a compromise:

why don't you both pay for the drink?

And tip.

I just want to tell you all that even before I won this money,

I was the luckiest guy in the world 'cause I got friends like you.

That's why I'm spending my remaing Scratcher winnings

on a kick-ass party for all my friends!

Where's Bart? We're gonna be late for Lenny's party.

Don't waste your shot, Bart.

You've got just enough cat pee to soak two dorks.

Bart Simpson! Did you just spray water on me?!

Uh... it was water this morning.

Dang that Bart! Thanks to him, I have to wear my backup dress,

- which makes my arms look fat. - Oh, you look great.

Ha ha! You feel self-conscious.

Why can't our son just behave?

Well, Marge, you did have that one sip of alcohol while you were pregnant.

I now christen this ship the "USS Float 'N' Shoot!"

Ay, caramba!

Ay, caramba!

Mmm, that was unforgivable.

But I'm beginning to think that Bart's bad behavior

- is more than just a phase. - Bart's flicking boogers on me!

They're not boogers! They're clumps of rubber cement.

That I stored in my nose.

Stop it, both of you! Don't make me drive into that tree

You know I will!

No flicking boogers, and no driving into trees!

- Yes, ma'am. - Yes, ma'am.

Wow, Lenny went all out!

In the beginning, there was darkness, so God created man.

But man was alone.

God created the animals and birds.

But man was still lonely.

So God said, "Let there be friends!"

Thank you for being a friend,

Traveled down the road and back again

Your heart is true, You're a pal and a confidant

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for letting me take home the centerpiece.

These are going right on my mom's grave.

Thank you for being a friend.

Lenny, it was pretty cool of you

to spend your lotto winnings on your pals.

It was worth it so everyone could have a wonderful evening

and go home with a gift bag.

Vacuuming robot!

Now, before you all leave, I know everyone hates vacuuming, and loves robots...

These innocent robots couldn't have done this on their own.

Someone would've had to turn them all on at once,

and then imbue them with some kind of malevolent sentience.

Yep, there it is.

Well, whoever did this must be long gone by now, Chief.

I don't know how we'll ever catch him.

Kill! Kill! Kill!

Hold it right there, Bart!

Can you tell us anything about who did this?

Bart make Bot bad!

- Uh, I can explain. - Kill the child!

Bart, I've had it with you!

- I'm taking away all your TV privileges. - You already did that.

- Okay, then videogames. - That, too.

No more non-dice board games.

What? You can't take my Balderdash!

I just did.

I don't mean to be bad.

I don't know why I do the things I do.

No one understands me. I wish I had a different family.

I feel exactly the same way.

Oh, my God.

You look like a dorky version of me!

And you look like a dimwitted version of me!

And you two are ten-year-old versions of me!

The three of us could create quite a lot of mischief,

but I have to fly back to New York.

That's where my wife and I live.

That's her. You want to see pictures of our kids?

name's Simon Woosterfield.

"Woosterfield"? Your family owns this place!

And Woosterfield Arena! Bonnie Raitt played there!

You guys must be loaded!

Yes. No, but the funny thing about being rich

is sometimes you wake up feeling...

Terrific? Incredible? Happy as a clown?

Oh, yeah, I'm livin' the dream.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if we switched places

and lived each other's lives for a while?

I'm pretty attached to my family, and...

Get out here, boy! I want to punish you

- before I get drunk and merciful! - Deal.

My father's name is Homer. My mother's name is Mom.

My sister's name is Lisa, but everyone calls her Loser.

My butler's name is Chester. I have a brother named Devon and a sister named Quenly.

Oh, and my horse is called Shadowfax.

You can't miss him. He's the only Lipizzaner in our stable.

Lipizzaner... got it.

There you are, Master Simon!

Thank you, uh, Lipizzaner.

As you say, sir. Watch your head.

You ruin everything!

Driver, laugh at those people for me.

My pleasure, sir.

McMansion. McMansion.

McMansion.

McDonald's?

McDreamy.

McSteamy.

McMansion.

Fleetwood Mac,

and Macauley Culkin.

And this is your home, sir.

But of course you already knew that.

Awesome!

Awesome!

Awesome!

This is my bedroom?

A candy corn volcano!

A ceiling from Saddam's palace!

Ooh, and a racecar bed.

That really races!

Wow, a cool poster of Joe Montana!

It's not a poster.

I'm the real deal. Every day I stand here

the family donates a million dollars to Notre Dame.

Did you know the words "Notre Dame" are French, but the team is

the Fighting Irish? That's the kind of thing I think about in here.

- Back in the poster, gabby. - Yes, sir.