Episodes

I'm about to leave for my date.

Okay.

If you don't want me to go,

I won't go.

Go.

500 feet, labia. 500 feet.

If that fucking lunatic comes near my kids again,

I swear to God...

Please tell me you weren't entertaining your stalker

at your house last night.

Did you have sexual relations with her?

Does anal --

yeah, it counts.

You think I don't want to be with you all the time?

Come on! What do you want me to do?

The woman's blind.

She's fucking Matt Leblanc.

You son of a bitch.

Oh!

Let go of my fucking --

aah!

Oh, Jesus. Does it hurt?

Oh, fuck.

How about now?

Aah!

We got a very short list.

Right.

And your name's at the top of it.

The board decided...

You're out.

How do you know this?

He offered me your job.

But he hit you.

I'm fine now. I'm fine.

It didn't even --

I can't leave her now.

What?

I got no fucking job!

You want me to give her half my money?

Get out!

Are you fucking crazy?!

I don't even know where the hell I am!

This is downtown!

Fuck!

Honey? Hmm?

I think someone's at your gate.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah?

I want to talk to my wife!

Oh, God.

Uh...Fuck you.

Open up! I know she's there!

Yeah, she's here.

And, again...

Fuck you.

Looks like it's still raining.

Hmm.

Aw!

Aah!

Aah! Oh!

Ugh!

Open up!

Let me in!

Open the fuck up!

Go away, asshole.

Come on, let me in!

Whatever you have to say,

you can say through the window.

Jamie, sweetheart, I know you're mad.

I don't blame you.

I'm sorry.

I-I'm sorry.

I made a mistake.

A mistake?!

You've been screwing Carol for five years!

Okay, nobody said that I was perfect.

But, come on, one more chance.

It's okay, she can have you.

Forget her!

I dumped her ass last night 'cause I want you.

Well, I don't want you!

I've been happier in the last three months

than any day of our marriage.

Okay, I can feel the breeze from your charade.

Sorry.

Look, I'm done.

If you have anything to say, say it to my lawyer.

You have a lawyer already?

It's the guy Matt's ex-wife used.

Apparently, he's very good.

Goodbye, merc.

"Goodbye"?

What do you mean, "goodbye"? Not "goodbye."

Honey, honey, please.

Where's your humanity?

We're husband and wife!

Jamie, come on! Wait, wait, wait, wait!

At least get me a towel!

Are you sleeping?

What?

Never mind. Go back to sleep.

No, what did you say?

I asked if you were sleeping.

Oh.

When you asked, I was.

Now I'm not.

Sorry.

It's all right.

I like what I'm waking to.

How much have you missed this?

I know.

There was a moment...

Last night...

When I was looking at you...

And I couldn't help but think...

Bloody hell, it's 8:15!

Wait, wait, wait. No. What?

Couldn't help but think what?

8:15! We're seriously fucked!

I have no car here. I have to get home.

Why? Uh...

I'm not going to work in an evening gown.

No?

Elegant Friday?

Oh, God.

We have script changes we never gave them.

Shit.

Uh, I'll drop you at home.

Just let me jump in the shower.

Feel like jumping in with me?

8:15.

Right.

Get me Elliot salad.

He's still in the air.

He's heading back to New York.

Then have him call me as soon as he lands.

And make sure he knows

it's about what we discussed last night.

Hey.

Morning.

How are you? Fine.

No, I know, but how are you?

I'm good.

Hmm.

I am.

Look, these things happen, especially in our business.

Nothing's forever.

Poor merc. How's he doing?

I wouldn't know. Really?

Really. So that's...

Mm-hmm. Oh, thank God.

I never understood that anyway.

Did you see his office?

It's like he was never here,

like that movie "the vanishing."

I never saw it. Someone vanishes.

Oh.

So, why'd they dump him?

Was it 'cause of last night?

I really can't say.

That fight was insane.

Have you seen the video?

There's a video?

It's on YouTube. Mm-hmm.

You're telling me some asshole

actually stood there filming the whole thing

and then posted it?

What kind of sick fuck would do that?

If it helps, you look gorgeous in it.

I'm in it?

Jesus! Are we all in it?

Everyone but Andy.

Cock sucker!

Fuck you! You are so fucking fired!

I can't believe this is online.

Is that really what my hair looks like?

It's up to almost a million hits.

Hey, you know,

more people saw merc hit you in the face

than actually watch our show.

Your poor face.

Fuck her face. What about our poor show?

I didn't mean "fuck her face."

Thank you. Shh. Hey, hey, listen.

You can actually hear him

pull your shoulder out of the socket.

It's so sick.

Is it? Is it sick?

Kind of.

What the fuck?!

Let go of my fucking --

aah!

Ow.

Shit.

Maybe I should let it grow.

Jesus. Yep. Some messed-up night.

I don't know.

Some good things came out of it.

Aww!

Stop it. We're not puppies.