Fresh Off the Boat

It's nice your dad's trusting us to handle shipment day alone.

My dad's trying to find a new business venture,

so gonna be more responsibility coming our way.

A promotion, a parking spot,

control over the bathroom code...

69-69.

Yeahhh.

Your uncle's birthday... June 9, 1969.

Ooh, shipment day!

What bounty has Lady Cattleman's been blessed with?

What are all these? Walnuts?

- Brazil nuts? - Deez nuts?

They're chestnuts.

And how would you know what a chestnut looks like?

Because I am one.

Matthew Chestnut.

Eddie, who the "H" is this guy?

He used to be Dad's right-hand man until he bailed

to go manage some restaurant vendors at Dollywood.

Dollywood? There should be a Rebawood.

Louis, I made a mistake when I left.

You're gol-dang right you did.

I know how bad it must've hurt.

It hurt me, too.

But I want to come back... if you'll let me.

Matthew, after that selfish, foul,

disrespectful move you pulled,

there's no way I can even think of taking you back.

...until we catch up over some cold ones, partner.

Oh, man!

Ah!

Ah. Best shipment day ever!

Oh, uh, speaking of, I had to move

some crates of onions to the parking lot

to do my clever nut bit.

Oh. You heard your new manager, boys.

Go get those onions outta the sun.

Yeah. Wouldn't want them to turn into sun-ions.

Oh, God, it's good to have you back.

Great to be back.

Goodbye, promotion.

"Dear diary, today sucked again."

Well, Chestnut's back, and it sucks.

Please sit down.

I would love to hear about your problems.

Wait. What's happening?

- I'm LIEing. - Nice.

Hey, everyone, I have a funny mom.

No. It's a technique from my Teacher Administration book.

Listen, Identify, Encourage... LIE.

I'm not sure how any of that's gonna help

with Chestnut coming back to Cattleman's.

Listening... You have a problem.

He's back one day and already bossing us around.

Identifying... You're upset.

And he's making all these new rules,

like "Delivery personnel cannot eat ketchup or mayo packets."

How am I supposed to make Thousand Island in my mouth?

Encouraging...

Chestnut's not a problem. Suck it up.

Well, Chestnut's back, and it's awesome.

I always liked his wife... Skinny, angry, thrifty.

- He divorced her. - Of course he did.

One woman's trash, another man's treasure.

With him running the show, I can finally focus

on finding the next chapter of my life.

Now, I know I've tried a lot of stuff,

and this is going to seem silly,

but I think I've found my next thing...

Gardening.

Oh, I think that's a great idea.

Really?

I thought you were going to say "Oh, hell no,"

or "A gardener is a hobo wearing gloves,"

or "Cucumbers attract pedophiles."

I am fun, but no, I'm actually glad

you found something to be passionate about,

and I want to support you.

Wait. Is this another one of your schoolbook techniques?

- Are you LIEing again? - No.

I just know how much you've struggled

to commit to your next big thing.

If you want to garden, then garden.

I 100% support whatever you choose to do,

as long as you 100% support yourself.

Wow. I really appreciate you having my back on this.

But if you're gonna do it, do it the Louis way.

I have a way?

I didn't know I had a way.

Well, you like helping people.

So instead of vegetables in the backyard,

maybe you start a community garden.

That's actually... a great idea.

One small request.

No cucumbers?

Pedophile candy.

_

Can you believe that women's pants

don't have length measurements?

What are they, all the same height?

Sexism!

Uh-huh.

And why are you reading this book about V-word speeches?

So I can identify with women

to be more believable in the school play

as Lady Macbeth.

You got a problem with that, Mr. Man?

Boys, I'm glad you're home.

I have a small babysitting favor to ask you.

We'd love to watch your girls,

get all that precious baby time in

before their breath turns.

No, not them. Marvin.

Sure, but if you want us to take him on walks, that's extra.

I love him, but now that he's retired,

he is home all the time,

and it can be a little much.

Well, I think it's great

you're not conforming to the traditional maternal role

that society thrusts upon women

and are actively choosing to vacation

from the domestic sphere.

Uh, okay.

W... So, you'll watch him for the day?

He wants to take you out for a ride on his new boat.

A boat ride with Uncle Marvin?

Heck to the yes.

I'm gonna slip-test my new docksiders.

So, while we all laughed

when rubber snakes came out of the fire extinguisher,

don't do it again.

I know I'm scolding myself.

Owning his own mistakes... Sign of a good leader.

We're gonna have to send a rescue team

to get this guy outta your dad's ass.

Don't worry. We got this.

Hey, boss, quick pitch.

What about a suggestion box?

That way, employees can safely share their ideas

on how to run the restaurant,

like a bulletin board for swapping shifts

or take-home mints at the host stand.

Or well-defined department boundaries,

with particular focus on newly rehired managers

who may not realize things have been working

just fine for the past year and a half!

Reel it in, dude.

Hmm. Suggestion box. That's a good idea.

You know, back at D-wood,

Dolly used to say she didn't need a suggestion box

'cause she walked around with two big ones.

Her left ear and her right ear.

Oh. Ears.

Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking.

Matty's right.

We don't need a suggestion box.

Alright, team, great meeting.

If anything comes up, take it to The Nut.

I gotta get home and crank on my garden.

Whoa! Garden?

Yeah. Gonna need to hear all about that.

I do have a great manure mixture, if you need one. Hmm.

Well, looks like we're stuck with this doofus.

He's got that divorced-man energy.

We can't compete.

So, then the Italian says,

"I didn't report my credit card stolen

because the thief spends less than my wife."

You got your sea legs there yet, Emery?

It's not the boat.

It's these jokes that are promoting

grotesque and insensitive...

I'm also a little seasick.

What'd he say?

I just want to catch a big, tasty one,

have Honey whip up some fish tacos.

I tell you, that woman is a savant

when it comes to cabrilla and cabbage.

My girlfriend, Sicily, microwaves a mean fish stick.

They should meet.

Wait a minute.

Are you both implying

it's the man's job to bring home the bacon

and the woman's role to cook it?

Huh? Bacon?

What?

No. Honey handles all the groceries in our household.

I just want to catch a fish big enough

that can eat a license plate.

Mm.

Oh, come on, Emery.

You gotta man up.

Yeah, Emery, grow a pair!

Honey wrote a biography?

What could be in there? She does nothing.

No. It's Dolly Parton.

I've accepted the fact that Chestnut's here to stay,

so I'm getting ahead of all the sweet sayings

I'll be hearing from now on.

Yee-haw.