A Guy Named Joe

It's Pete Sandidge's squadron.

I'll bet you he's the best flyer in the whole world.

He's a grand-standing windbag.

You can't trust him with a motorcycle, much less an airplane.

The report says "only one plane slightly damaged."

Every time they cross the channel, it's the same old story.

Here's the squadron. I got a chance to get a little sleep-

but no. Sandidge and Yackey are up there somewhere playing tag.

And to think I once turned down a chance

to transfer to the quartermaster corps!

Another routine complaint about him from headquarters this morning.

- What did it say? - The usual.

What does headquarters think these guys came over here for,

a sewing circle?

They're playing for keeps!

Cops and robbers with rocks in the snowballs,

brass knuckles and lead pipes

and a roughneck conviction that can lick any man in the world.

So headquarters in London complains... so what?

Look, look, here comes one on fire!

I think they're coming in now.

Those undisciplined hooligans.

If they've ruined another ship, I'll kill 'em!

Every time they go up, there's nothing but trouble, trouble, trouble!

You'd think b-25s grew on trees!

Look at that ship! A 3-alarm fire!

It's going to make a crash landing!

- Let's go. - Yes, sir.

Any bloody noses down there?

We're all right, skipper.

You all right?

We're o.K., sir. That was one swell landing.

- Good shooting. - Thank you, sir.

- You o.K., Pete? - Sure, I'm o.K. Gimme a cigarette.

You know, you just did make it, pal.

Thanks for herding me in.

Boy, boy, I never seen so much black

in one place in my life, did you-

- good morning. - Morning, sir.

Mission completed, sir. All planes safe.

Yes. Yes, thanks.

Boy, you set this crate down like a ladybug on a toadstool.

I thought for a minute you was going to have to bail out, Pete.

Can't afford to lose a plane in good shape like that.

Make a report to intelligence.

Pick me up in about an hour.

Sandy?

Yes, sir.

Looking over your ship, I -

yes, sir. I was gonna make the report. I got a date. See you later.

- I'll make the report, sir. - Mind if I walk with you?

No, sir.

Lucky the other man got off so easily, isn't it?

You know I always bring 'em back.

Just a day for a little bad luck, that's all.

And yesterday was your day, too,

and the flight before that.

Yeah. Been havin' a lot of luck, haven't I?

What a beautiful day. Look at that sun.

Makes a guy feel good.

How high were you when you went in for your bombing run?

Now, look, Nails, Al is making out a report.

I got a date, and she's gonna get mad if I'm late.

I gotta shave and wash and everything.

Why don't you wait for the pilot's report?

O.K. Tell Dorinda for me she's lucky you got back at all.

What are you trying to do, break up my romance?

Just trying to keep you alive.

Leave that to me, Nails. I'll be seeing ya.

Yeah.

Soon.

There he is! You call him.

No. I did it yesterday.

Just holler, "hey, Joe" like the Americans do.

But his name isn't Joe.

Don't you know anything about slang?

In the American Air Forces,

anybody who's a right chap is a... a guy named Joe.

That's very foolish, Peter. I'll call him.

No, Elizabeth. I will.

- Pete! - Yeah.

We're very glad you got back safe.

Could you settle an argument for us?

Could you, please?

Yeah, sure. I guess that could be arranged.

Well, now, what's the beef this morning?

Well, cyril says the spitfire's a better plane

than the American p-38,

and I say the p-38's better.

I didn't say it was all the way better.

I just said it was mostly better.

We shouldn't have any trouble about that.

The p-38 is a little faster,

and the spitfire is a little more maneuverable.

They're both good planes.

You see?

I told him, talking all the time

about the spitfire being better

was bad for British and American relations.

Well, I've got an uncle in America.

That's more than you have.

Everybody has an uncle in America.

Pete, what would happen if you went way, way up high

and forgot to turn your oxygen tank on?

Well, you'd get weak. You'd get dizzy, and short of wind.

You wouldn't be able to think properly. You couldn't coordinate.

I mean, you might tell yourself to do one thing,

and you'd find yourself doing something else.

Gosh!

Pete, tell us how it feels

to be up alone in a plane all by yourself.

Again?

Please.

Do tell us, Pete.

We're nuts to hear you tell it.

All right.

Well, when you're up there all alone in your ship, you...

Say...

You kids don't ever mention any of this stuff I tell ya,

do ya?

No! Never.

Well, don't.

We won't.

Well, when you're up there,

you're-you're all alone.

It's just you and your ship and the sky.

And you don't want anybody up there with you.

You don't want anybody to spoil it.

Everything's kinda still.

You have the feeling that you're halfway to heaven.

You don't even seem to hear the sound of your own motor,

just a kind of a buzz,

like the sky was calling you...

Like the sky was singing you a song.

Gosh.

Yeah.

And somehow it's never 8:00 up there.

It's... it's always now.

And the earth is so far below you

that it just doesn't matter anymore.

The sky is the thing that's important.

The sky is your pal.

You feel like nudging it and saying, "hi, sky. How are you today?"

And how's the old moon the last time you saw him?

The wind drift comes straight off the morning star,

and beautiful white clouds drift towards you.

And they're like old friends,

friends you never want to say good-bye to.

And you see a patch of clear area between 'em,

and you duck in and out like a porpoise

rolling in the ocean.

And then you say to yourself, "boy, boy",

"this is the only time a man is really ever alive,

the only time he's really ever free."

The old sky smiles back at ya

and says, "boy, you're right. You're dead right."

What happens when your motor conks out?

Elizabeth, Elizabeth,

how did you ever get into this gang?

Hey, Pete, come on, will ya?

Where've you been? I've been waiting for ya.

You kids run along.

Can we come by and see you tomorrow, Pete?

Yeah, but not a word about this to anybody.

This is just between us now, us pilots.

Gosh!

Well, that Dorinda is certainly crazy about me.

She's an hour late already. Our first day off in 3 weeks.

Maybe she figures it'd do you good

to be held up once in a while.

It kinda keeps a fella's interest alive.

One of these days I'll put that dame across my knee-

you're not even listening to me.

That gal's flown stuff all over these here British isles.

Bet she could teach you a thing or two about a ship.

Then she's late on purpose. That's worse.

What does she think I am?

I reckon she's got a pretty good idea.

What's the matter? You oughta be feeling good.

Why?

Foolin' Nails. We talked ourselves outta that one

slick as anything I ever did see.

He didn't have a thing to say.

Are you kidding? That's just what I'm worried about.

That's why I wish she'd show up

so we could get outta here! Gimme a cigarette.

Why don't you ever buy a package of cigarettes?

Hey, I hear a puddle jumper now.

Yeah, that's her, all right.

Yeah... yeah.

Nobody else in the world would try a landing like that!

I can't watch this. Let me know if she makes it.

I've branded steer calves that make less fuss than you

when that gal's in the air.

Look at her. Pretty a landin' as you ever did see.

- Are you kidding? - No, look!

How many times do I have to tell ya

to quit slipping this maytag messerschmitt when you're in a turn?

Now you know when I saw you down here I had to kill that altitude.

You killed more than the altitude.