Def Comedy Jam 25

Def Comedy Jam 25

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Def Comedy Jam 25 2017 WEBRip NF
A Commentary by MaistroX
Original NF subs! Fixed and Corrected, should work with other WEBRips aswell! :)

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Published on: 2019-01-13
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The first 200 lines.

The '80s and '90s were a storm of politics,

pop culture, sports,

and a new, groundbreaking genre of music called hip-hop.

Hip-hop was the sounding board,

revealing the hard-hitting issues that faced black America.

Steve Young reports on a new kind of cocaine, called crack.

Health officials said there has been a dramatic rise in AIDS

in the black and Hispanic communities.

Young America...

hold your head high now.

We can win.

In a time desperately in need of comic relief,

stand-up comedy exploded.

But many underground black comedians had yet to make the same breakthrough

as hip-hop musicians.

Noticing a void,

Russell Simmons partnered with comedy director Stan Lathan,

and together, they built a team

to discover and develop new and edgy comedic voices

that harnessed the same raw energy of hip-hop.

Then on July 1, 1992,

Def Comedy Jam hit the airwaves.

Tonight, Def Comedy Jam 25.

Starring Bill Bellamy, Cedric the Entertainer,

Deon Cole, Dave Chappelle, Melanie Comarcho,

Mike Epps, Adele Givens, Eddie Griffin,

Tiffany Haddish, Kevin Hart, Steve Harvey,

D.L. Hughley, Ice Cube, Martin Lawrence,

Tracy Morgan, Trevor Noah, Craig Robinson,

Chris Rock, Tony Rock, JB Smoove, Joe Torry,

Sheryl Underwood and Katt Williams.

Welcome to the stage, Steve Harvey,

Sheryl Underwood, Cedric the Entertainer

and Dave Chappelle!

Yeah!

Get up on your motherfucking feet!

- Yeah! Yes! - What up?

- Yes! - This room is legendary already, man.

- Already! - Oh, it's crazy out there, man.

All right, everybody, sit down

and get ready for some public school reading.

Def Comedy Jam 25.

It's good to see so many funny people together in one room,

all wondering the same thing:

Is Katt Williams gonna show up?

Yes!

Yes!

Oh, he's right there.

There he is.

I didn't know he was right there.

I would not have said that if I'd seen you right there.

Yeah!

I'm not used to quiet, introspective Katt Williams.

No.

But let me ask you this:

When have you ever seen this many heavy hitters

all together at the same time in the same room?

- Yes. - Right.

And let me tell you something. Y'all look good, too, man.

Yeah, you do. Y'all look good.

So, tonight, if nothing else,

black lifestyles matter.

- That's right! - Nice.

Yeah.

And, Steve, we are here to celebrate 25 years

of a comedy institution.

And I would like to announce that I will be starring as Tracy Morgan

in The Tracy Morgan Story.

I have the weight, and if I just take off this wig,

you'll go, "That bitch looks just like Tracy Morgan."

No, I was gonna do The Cedric the Entertainer Story,

but I haven't lost enough weight to be Cedric.

I did, motherfuckers. Shit.

From 1992 to 1997, Def Comedy Jam was the watercooler show

that you had to see.

Def Jam was responsible for more stolen cable

than any other television show.

That's right, that's right. Real talk, real talk.

Oh, it's my turn.

I thought these motherfuckers didn't think I could read.

Shit, I've been up here, too.

Now, for some of you millennials who might be asking,

- "What the hell is Def Comedy Jam?" - What?

That's why we hate you little motherfuckers.

- Y'all don't know shit. - That's right.

That's right. That's right.

We got emojis, too. How about this one?

No subject matter was off limits.

That's what a comic would feel as he pushed the envelope.

Push the envelope? Shit.

We pushed, licked, stamped and mailed that bitch!

- Should I have said that "motherfucker"? - No, you got it.

- Should we have added more profanity? - No, "mail that bitch" was good.

Pushed, licked, stamped, sucked that motherfucker? Half off.

Rumble, young man! Rumble. Do that shit.

Um...

I'm the host of Little Big Shots.

Oh, damn. Oh, damn. He went mainstream on us.

Y'all ain't gonna sit over here and mess my money up. Unh-unh.

No, no.

Won't be having me out here cussing and shit.

- Hi, CBS! - I got plenty of checks coming in now.

Unh-unh.

- ABC, CBS. - Cuss on your own...

You ain't gonna be on CBS. Yeah.

My ass is gonna have a job when we get through with this here.

Sitting up here, MF-ing and all this here.

Shit, I'm nervous as hell right now.

Oh, man.

Y'all know how hard I've been trying to get here.

25 years ago, Russell Simmons and Stan Lathan had a vision

to bring urban comedy to the mainstream.

- Yes! - Yeah.

- Because people like Shuckey Duckey... - Quack, quack!

- And Hamburger... - Hamburger!

Had something that the world needed to hear.

What the fuck was it, Steve?

I'm just...

I don't know what the fuck it could've been.

You don't have to comment on everything.

You said I was gonna be your hype man!

There's a teleprompter. Some of this shit got to go.

I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to say that.

Little Big Shots. Little Big Shots.

- Come on. - It's my turn.

That's right.

The day after they signed the deal,

they officially explained to HBO that "urban" meant "Negro."

What?!

And their vision of urban comedy was born, and then chitlins fell from the sky.

High blood pressure!

The blackest thing they did was to hire an Italian black guy from the Bronx.

- Fuhgeddaboudit! - The legendary Kid Capri!

- You up here, Capri! - Yeah! Kid Capri!

You couldn't come out on stage unless Kid said your name.

- All right, wait, let me get serious. - Get serious.

So, Russell Simmons and Stan Lathan saw comedians like Robin Harris

at the Comedy Act Theater here in LA.

- Yes. - Yeah, man.

And then there was the whole Uptown Comedy Club circuit in Harlem.

And they realized there was nothing like that on television.

It was like early hip-hop.

It was like a secret that only black people knew about.

Then Russell and Stan, they added a major Hollywood manager:

Sandy Wernick. Sandy, what up, man?

- Sandy Wernick in the building. - Oh, yeah.

They had to go enlist this man, because they both looked around

and they was like, "We're trying to get this on TV, but we're black."

We're gonna need a Jewish guy."

Yeah.

And they enlisted a man with an incredible eye for talent:

- Eye! - Bob Sumner, man!

Bob Sumner. Shout out Bob Sumner, man.

Bob went around...

Wait. I would be remiss if I didn't point out

that Bob passed on me the first three times he saw me.

- Wait a minute, Ced. - That's right, Bob.

- Wait a minute. He passed on me, too. - No!

- That's what I'm trying to say. - He passed on me, too.

Bob would be like, "You know, the third time I met Halle Berry",

I realized she was kind of cute."

On a serious note, we owe a huge debt of gratitude

- to those men at that table right there. - Absolutely.

A lot of stars were born because of those men's vision right there.

That's right.

I love you guys. Thank you so much for what you did for us

and for our genre.

- Thank you, guys. - Thank you very much. Thank y'all.

Let's get this show rolling, ladies and gentlemen.

Right now, it is my pleasure to bring to the stage

the one and only Tracy Morgan.

Yeah! Yeah!

- You already out here. -

Yo.

Yeah!

What up, what up, what up?!

Holler at me!

Oh, man.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Y'all know the journey I just came off, and I miss y'all.

I miss y'all full hard, and I'm here, and we're having a good time.

Wait a minute. Something's missing.

Something ain't right. Something is missing.

We've been having all this, but something's missing, boo.

Something ain't right.

Martin!

Martin Lawrence. 25 years ago...

Check this out. Bust it.

25 years ago, I was a young, hungry comic trying to find my way in this game, man.

And dude came out of nowhere and said, "Come eat at my table."

Just like you with your artists, Puff.

He did that with me. He's my OG. He will always be my OG.

I love you. That ain't gonna never stop.

Word is born. Word is born.

Thank you!

Me and my family thank you for giving me an opportunity, Martin.

I love you so much.

That's word life.

You know what I'm saying? I seen him...

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