Baywatch

-AND IN THIRD PLACE, MR. ROB WHITE.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR HIM.

AND SECOND PLACE GOES TO JOCK HUDSON.

AND THE WINNER THIS YEAR, FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,

JIMMY SLADE!

-MOVE IT TO THE RIGHT! AND CHECK THOSE COORDINATES.

LOCK IT IN!

- -HEY! WATCH IT!

-SORRY. WE HAVE TO CHECK FOR INCREASED RADIATION HERE.

42 DEGREES...

-OKAY. AND THAT'S THE EXACT COORDINATES.

-EXCUSE ME. MAY I HELP YOU?

-COULD YOU? THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

IF WE CAN JUST CLEAR THIS AREA RIGHT IN HERE,

THEN WE CAN FINISH SETTING UP THE REST OF OUR EQUIPMENT.

-UH, I'M SORRY. I DON'T THINK SO.

-IT'S OKAY. IT'S ALL AUTHORIZED.

HERE'S OUR PERMIT.

-OKAY, HANG OUT ON THE BEACH, DON'T GET IN ANY TROUBLE,

30.

-3:30? IT TAKES AN HOUR AND A HALF TO GO TO SAN DIEGO.

WE WON'T HAVE ANY TIME TO FISH.

-WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO FISH AFTER MY SPEECH.

WHAT KIND OF CIRCUS IS THIS?

-I'M GOING TO GO CHECK THIS OUT. SEE YOU.

-I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ISSUED YOU AN OVERNIGHT CAMPING PERMIT.

WHY NOT? WE'RE A LEGITIMATE ORGANIZATION

DOING LEGITIMATE RESEARCH.

WILL YOU TURN THAT--

WHY DON'T YOU MOVE THE MONITORS CLOSER TO SHORE

SO THAT WE DON'T GET ANY FEEDBACK?

LOOK, I'M SORRY. SOME OF OUR MEMBERS MIGHT SEEM A LITTLE ECCENTRIC,

BUT THEY'VE HAD SOME UNIQUE LIFE EXPERIENCES.

WHAT KIND OF EXPERIENCES?

-THEY'VE BEEN ABDUCTED FROM THEIR HOMES

BY THE ALIEN PRESENCE ON THIS PLANET.

-OH. -YES. MITCH, WEREN'T YOU AWARE--

WEREN'T YOU AWARE THAT EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS

ARE SUPPOSED TO EMERGE FROM THE BAY TONIGHT?

-REALLY? -YEAH, REALLY.

HEY, KID, YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING?

YEAH, SURE.

-LOOK AT THIS SCAR ON MY LEG.

THEY EMBEDDED CRYSTALS INTO MY BLOODSTREAM SO THEY CAN TRACK ME.

-HUH? YEAH! -WOW.

-COME HERE. UH, MISS-- -TAYLOR.

-DR. FAYE TAYLOR. -MITCH BUCHANNON.

-DOCTOR OF WHAT, MAY I ASK?

-WELL, I RECEIVED MY DOCTORATE AT STANFORD IN ASTROPHYSICS,

NOT "STAR TREK" RERUNS.

-LOOK, NOBODY'S QUESTIONING YOUR INTEGRITY HERE.

WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO DO IS KEEP THE BEACH SAFE FOR PEOPLE.

YOU BRING IN LOTS OF EQUIPMENT, IT ATTRACTS CROWDS,

AND THAT JUST MAKES OUR JOB A LITTLE TOUGHER.

-I CAN APPRECIATE THAT, BUT THE EQUIPMENT IS NECESSARY.

WE'VE GOT TO TRACK AND DOCUMENT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS.

TELL ME, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A LIFEGUARD?

-19 YEARS. -THAT'S A LONG TIME.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING UNEXPLAINABLE,

LIKE BRIGHT LIGHTS ACROSS THE HORIZON

OR A CYLINDRICAL FOG ON A HOT AUGUST MORNING?

-I'VE SEEN A LOT OF UNUSUAL THINGS, BUT THEY'RE ALL EXPLAINABLE.

-DID YOU FEEL THAT SONIC BOOM THAT CAME ACROSS THE OCEAN

AND SWEPT THE SAND ABOUT THREE DAYS AGO?

-HEY, YEAH, REMEMBER? YOU SAID YOU THOUGHT YOU FELT AN EARTHQUAKE.

-THERE WAS NO EARTHQUAKE RECORDED THAT DAY.

IT WAS A SKYQUAKE

CAUSED BY AN UNKNOWN AIRCRAFT ABOVE THE OCEAN.

-LOOK, I GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK.

MITCH? MITCH?

CARE TO VOLUNTEER FOR THE ALIEN PATROL TONIGHT?

I WOULD LOVE TO,

BUT HOBIE AND I ARE ON OUR WAY TO SAN DIEGO,

AND I'M GIVING A SPEECH AT A LIFEGUARD ASSOCIATION,

SO I CAN'T BE HERE TONIGHT.

-OH, I CAN TAKE A DOUBLE SHIFT. NO PROBLEM.

GOT YOU COVERED.

-C.J., DON'T TELL ME, BUT YOU'RE A CHARTER MEMBER OF THIS GROUP.

-NO, BUT I HAVE READ TWO OF DR. TAYLOR'S BOOKS.

IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

I CAUGHT YOUR LECTURE IN PASADENA. IT WAS GREAT.

-I'M C.J. -I'M FAYE.

-I'M LEAVING. -I'M STAYING.

-NO WAY. -C.J.!

-LET HIM STAY. I'LL WATCH HIM. -OKAY?

THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF.

-DAD, THIS WILL BE AN EXPERIENCE.

YOUR SPEECH WILL BE A BORE.

FINE. WHY DON'T YOU STAY?

MAYBE THE ALIENS WILL ABDUCT YOU,

AND YOU CAN DRIVE THEM CRAZY.

-TAKE CARE OF HIM. -ALL RIGHT!

- -OW!

OH! OW!

-CONTINENTAL AIRLINES FLIGHT 16

FROM SYDNEY TO HONOLULU

WITH CONNECTING SERVICE TO LOS ANGELES

IS NOW RE-BOARDING BUSINESS FIRST PASSENGERS.

-WELL, OUR ALL-AMERICAN BOY CLEARED CUSTOMS IN HAWAII.

THEY DIDN'T EVEN OPEN HIS BOARD BAG.

-HE HAS AT LEAST THREE BOARDS IN THAT BAG.

YOU DID MARK THE ONE WITH THE DIAMONDS

THE WAY WE DECIDED, DIDN'T YOU?

NO.

IT'S MARKED, BUT ACTUALLY IN A WAY I DECIDED.

THE MALE BLACK WIDOW HAS TO PROTECT HIMSELF, LILA,

IF HE WANTS TO LIVE IN LUXURY AFTER HE'S DELIVERED

THE GOODS TO HIS FEMALE.

-I DON'T TRUST YOU EITHER, DIRK.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY WE'RE SUCH GOOD PARTNERS.

-I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING SPECIAL.

IT'S ON THE TOP OF MY BAG.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

-OH, IT'S OKAY, I WANTED TO--

FOR WATCHING MY VAN AND PICKING ME UP.

BEING A BUD.

-YEAH, I GUESS THAT'S ALL I AM, ALL RIGHT, YOUR BUD.

-WHAT? -NOTHING.

IT'S A GREAT T-SHIRT. THANKS, SLADE.

HEY! HEY!

-CAN THEY REALLY HEAR YOU UP THERE? -OH, OF COURSE THEY CAN.

BUT THEY'RE NOT UP IN THE SKY, NOT AT THE MOMENT, ANYWAY.

AT THE MOMENT, THEY'RE UNDER THE OCEAN.

-YEAH, THAT'S WHERE THEIR BASE IS.

OR THAT'S THE THEORY, ANYWAY.

-OH, THEORY, MY EYE. THEY'RE DOWN THERE, ALL RIGHT.

YOU BETCHA. I OUGHT TO KNOW,

I'VE BEEN DOWN THERE WITH THEM,

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK.

-WELL, I'VE BEEN DOWN THERE WITH MY DAD TONS OF TIMES.

-I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM. -HEY.

DON'T YOU SUPPOSE A SPECIES OF SPACE ALIEN

WHO CAN DEFY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS

COULD SOMEHOW MANAGE TO KEEP THEMSELVES HIDDEN

FROM YOUR DOGGY-PADDLING LITTLE BEHIND?

I GUESS.

-YEAH, THERE'S UNDERWATER CANYONS DOWN THERE

THAT MUST DROP 30,000 FEET.

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT'S DOWN THERE.

I DO.

-EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME!

IS THIS MUSIC REALLY NECESSARY?

GO TELL HIM TO HOLD THE MUSIC.

I'LL TELL HIM WHEN.

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T BELIEVE ANY OF THIS STUFF EITHER.

TILL I WAS HIRED BY THE NAVY TO WORK WITH SUBMARINE CREWS

WHO REPORTED UNDERWATER SIGHTINGS THAT NOBODY COULD EXPLAIN.

-BUT I'M SURE YOU WERE ABLE TO.

AFTER MY INVESTIGATIONS, YES.

OF COURSE, THE NAVY WOULDN'T ACKNOWLEDGE MY FINDINGS.

OH? I WONDER WHY.

-BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT THE PUBLIC TO KNOW WHAT THEY KNOW,

AT LEAST NOT YET.

-WELL, WHAT ARE THEY WAITING FOR?

-FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT WE'RE NOT ALONE.

-SO WHAT YOU GOING TO DO NOW?

I'M PRETTY JET-LAGGED.

I THINK I'M GOING TO GET SOME SLEEP ON THE BEACH.

-WHY DON'T YOU HANG OUT IN THE SHADE UNDER TOWER 20?

-NOBODY'S IN IT TODAY. -COOL.

WHAT ARE BUDS FOR?

-SWITCH THE BOARDS AND LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

THIS IS TOO EASY.

-A GOOD PLAN SHOULD BE. COME ON, LET'S GO.

-HEY, SLADE! YOU'RE BACK!

I BET THEY CRUSHED YOU AT CAPE HORN.