Egghead Republic

I'm calling on behalf of Kalamazoo Herald and Mr. Dino Davis.

He's on a plane to our Stockholm office now.

We just wanted to make sure you've gotten the DVD we sent you.

He's known as one of the most depraved, disputed

and influential writers of all time.

Bob Singleton.

You've been called many names over the years.

An anarchist, a blasphemer, even a pornographer.

A la-di-da man, a mad man.

A mad man as well.

After the publication of your debut novel Horny Youth

there were 22 murder attempts...

- 23 murder attempts. - 23... murder attempts.

And now we find you here, in a desolate

and frankly even more hazardous place

living right next to a radiation zone.

Tell me Bob, what is it that brought you here?

The simple life.

You see, in order to create exceptional works

one must put oneself in an exceptional frame of mind.

You cannot tell a story without experiencing it yourself.

That's the truth, kiddos! That's the God damn truth.

No, no, no.

Hi.

That's not the Kalamazoo Herald.

That's the way the old school boring suit-and-tie media does it.

Have you read our magazine? Seen any of our shows?

We're daredevils! We go places others never get access to.

On the cover you put the North Korean chick with the Kalashnikov.

Oh my God, Turan!

Come here!

- Brother, did I miss you! - You too man.

Let me see those palms.

- Still get horny on flights? - Yeah.

- How many times you whacked? - Twice on the flight.

You got to conserve that groove juice.

I save it up all week, then gift it to the world.

Sonja!

Come meet my best friend in the whole fucked up world.

- Hi. Sonja. - Turan.

Turan Hiram.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Do you want to see my portfolio?

Yeah, sure I do.

Who has cigarettes? I need a fucking smoke.

You know how these work?

No... no.

It's pretty simple. You just hook this on the back

and then this little wire is going under your shirt.

Okay.

I'm Gemma. I'll be one of the cinematographers on this trip.

I'm Sonja. I'll be the illustrator.

I thought you said she would be co-hosting?

But you said I was going to illustrate?

I can host too. It's just that I've never done it before.

- You'll be great. Look at you. - Well.

What the fuck is happening with this mic?

- I'm sorry. - It's not your job.

You're thirsty? You want something to drink?

- Gin and tonic. - Gin and tonic. How sophisticated.

One GT over here and one vodka soda for me!

Are you nervous?

You want a little medicine?

Okay!

Alright, sounds on.

Camera rolling.

Alright buddy, we're here at the Scandinavia office...

Try that again.

Alright, let's go.

We're here at the Kalamazoo Herald's Scandinavia office.

But we're about to go somewhere much more remote.

We're entering into the radioactive Zone in Kazakhstan.

Yes, you motherfuckers. We just had our first drink

because we can't believe this shit is about to happen.

We've been given permission

for the first time ever into the Zone at the IRAS.

The Institute for Radiation Arts and Sciences.

Here some of the world's greatest minds have been given residency

but we don't give a fuck about them.

We give a shit about what's behind that long ass wall.

What's behind that motherfucker?

We've all heard the rumors.

Herds of radioactive centaur.

Do you think the photos are real?

I don't think they're real centaurs.

Who gives a fuck? They're mutated fucking mules!

I want to see a real freak of radiation! Don't you?

Here with me, I have Sonja Schmidt. She is a...

An artist.

Okay. You're an artist.

But you're also a...

A person.

She is indeed a person.

She also happens to be the living relative of the great Arno S... Fuck.

Let's do it again.

It's all good.

Alright. I have Sonja Schmidt here with me.

She is a living relative of the late writer Arno Schmidt,

somewhat of a Homeros for Bob Singleton

who vouched for our invitation into the Zone.

You know about Bob Singleton?

Yes.

He won the Nobel Prize.

But tell us about your great uncle. Who was Arno Schmidt?

He was a German writer... from Germany.

Who...

I'm sorry.

- German writer from Germany. - No, it's okay!

We got the part about Bob Singleton wanting to meet her...

- Along with the centaurs? - Yeah yeah yeah, that was good.

- Dino! You came! - Heeeello.

Bring the beer inside.

This fucking dude says I can't come inside with the cigarette.

You need to put your cigarette down! I'm not going to tell you...

- The cigarette is the culprit. - Just put the cigarette down.

Why? He could basically buy this whole place!

He owns the Kalamazoo Herald! You're embarrassing yourself.

Am I a good boy?

Can I come in now?

- Welcome... - Thank you.

Bloody Americans.

You have to let me do the poster. I have some really cool ideas.

Yeah, sure, sure.

Yeah.

- Oh my God. - Hi. How are you?

I'm good, thank you.

Why are you speaking English?

I don't know... How are you man?

Good! How are you doing?

Huge fan, huge fan of your empire.

He's a musician. You should sign him.

I do electronic music.

You know DJ Hell? That Berlin guy.

He's from Münich.

Yeah, that's true! You should take my card.

Dealing ear-candy, to the nation?

That's what I do.

He's a really huge fan of me.

I'm a huge fan of you too.

- Do you want something to drink? - Yeah.

Just so you know, I'm not drunk.

This will not affect my work.

Come here. You should lie down.

Come lie down.

So, you're a lesbian?

- What? - Are you bisexual?

Do you sleep with men?

- Yeees. - Yeees. I'm glad to hear that.

Don't worry. I have a rule.

I don't sleep with people I'm working with. Promise.

Hey, man.

What stations you got?

I want to hear a love song.

We have Lugna Favoriter. And also Mix Mega...

I don't know what the fuck you're saying man.

Just put on a ballad.

- This is you? - Yes, this is me.

- Okay, bye. - Bye?

Wait, what? Bye?

I'm sorry. I'm just so tired.

But I'll see you tomorrow then?

Yeah.

- Okay. - I'll see you tomorrow Princess.

Yes!

Shut that door.

You see, in order to create exceptional works

one must put oneself in an exceptional frame of...

Exceptional.

Frame of mind.

To me it sounds like they are using you.

I know that. But I'm gonna use them too.

This is a huge opportunity for me.

- Like huge. - How can it be an huge opportunity?

Sonja, explain to me.

I'm gonna illustrate for the Kalamazoo Herald.

There's a million people that can do that.

I'm even gonna illustrate the poster.

No one my age has ever done that before.

If you want to become an illustrator,

why don't you apply for... I don't know.

An art school?

What is it you don't understand? Art schools don't teach you anything!

Okay, sorry. I just want you to live a happy life.

But I am happy Sina! I'm very very happy.

- You're the only sister I have Sonja. - The train is coming now.

- I can't talk to you. - Sonja, wait!

Thank you.

You are welcome.

- Good? - Yeah.

Listen, everybody here does a little bit of everything.

Nobody is just one thing, nobody is just a journalist.

- I hope you're not too disappointed? - No.

We've got to keep the cameras rolling all the time.

Catch that gold.

Got to stay loyal to reality.

I totally understand.

I actually drew that.

You did? You drew this?

Yeah.

Hey Turan, she drew the cover.