My Life Is Murder - Third Season

Hello! Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho. Here you go.

Christmas was three weeks ago. - On behalf of the Postal Service, I apologise.

We were late

Sorry.

Hey, no, they're just real estate letters,

so it's not real. It's just not from a real human.

That's because real humans know how much I despise environmental waste,

like, Christmas cards, tinsel, wrapping paper.

OK, Mr Grinch.

Hey, how was your Christmas? Were you just sitting there eating your, like, frozen meal?

Was it a lonely one, was it,... dear?

I had a lovely Christmas with all my friends three weeks ago.

You're supposed to put these in the mailbox. - You're it.

Hello. You look all relaxed and summery.

Two weeks without phone reception will do that. You get away?

No. Stayed in town while the rest of Auckland headed out to their holiday homes. And I loved it.

Yeah, I was in the Coromandel with the rest of Auckland. - Ha.

Still relaxing, though -- until I got back to work.

Paddy Jones did not have a good Christmas.

Resident of Woodhouse St. Famous Christmas light destination.

Yeah, I know the one. - Yeah.

Each year, the residents put on quite a show, but Paddy's house always stands out.

On Christmas Eve, Paddy went up on to the roof to fix a faulty Rudolph.

He slipped, and he fell.

Or was he pushed? - Actually, everything points to it being an accident.

Paddy was getting on a bit.

The roof was cluttered with cords and transformers.

Plus, there was a bunch of eyewitnesses.

They saw him fall, and he was definitely alone up there.

So what are you doing here? You just came to show me your tan? -

No, I need you to prove without doubt that it wasn't a murder.

Paddy's wife, Josie, is convinced that the neighbours are responsible.

Luke, he works in marketing, and Heather is a home executive.

They've got two kids. Normal people, as far as we can tell.

But Josie thinks that they pushed her husband off the roof.

There's been a little bit of rivalry the past couple of years.

Rivalry? - Yeah. The Christmas lights.

Paddy and Josie won best display for a few years running

until the competition aspect was cancelled by residents' vote.

It spilled over into the rest of the year -- council complaints, that sort of thing.

So you want me to break up warring neighbours? Harry, I'm on holiday.

Josie needs some closure. Look, she lost her man at Christmas.

She's grieving. She's looking for someone to blame.

We've checked every possibility, but I'm worried she might do something silly.

So I just go there, prove it was an accident,

and I can go back to my summer reading. - Exactly.

Eat, Pray, Love?

I was joking.

See ya. - Bye.

Captions by Sam Baker. Edited by Alex Walker.

Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.

What happened? Someone was lacking in Christmas spirit?

Nah, somebody fell off a roof, and we just have to prove that it wasn't an accident.

OK, well, this makes for a change.

Wow. These people are dedicated.

Yup, they sure are.

That's Paddy, who fell, and his wife, Josie.

And living to the right of them are the McGrahams --

Heather and Luke and... two little Lukes.

These people named their house?

McGraham Mews. Established 2018.

Who names their house? And what even is a mews?

I know.

It's a line of dwellings, usually converted from a stables.

Someone should tell them that.

Winner.

Hey. Contact the City Council

and find out what these neighbours were really warring about.

OK, the big stuff,

Can you pick up those grapes? - Of course.

Paddy and I moved here 40 years ago.

Back then, there was no fences between the properties.

Neighbours were friends.

So the disagreements didn't start with the Christmas lights?

Do not get me started on the lights.

Look at this.

'A gift, ' they said.

'So we could fit in with

'the street's aesthetic, ' they said.

'Cream or white, a symphony in beige.'

Trying to make us get rid of everything we've collected over the years -- our decorations!

Did you see my big fat Santa out the front there? - I did, Josie.

Kind of hard to miss.

Isn't it bad luck to leave your Christmas decorations out past a certain date?

My husband is dead.

How can my luck possibly get any worse?

Josie, several eyewitnesses saw him fall. There was no one else up there.

No one could have pushed him. - Paddy had been on that roof a hundred times.

He was a capable man! Not the sort to just... topple off a roof.

He looks like a wonderful guy.

He wouldn't hurt a fly.

But do you know what Luke said to him the night before he died? - What?

He said,

'I hope you fall off that bloody roof.'

Now, are you gonna tell me that's a coincidence?

Hello.

Hello. What's your name? - Oscar.

Hi, Oscar. I'm Alexa.

Oscar! What have I told you about talking to her?

Josie...

Alexa, actually. You?

Luke. Yeah.

Um, jump inside, Oskie. - Actually, Luke...

Mind if I just pop over for a quick chat?

Sorry about the chaos. We're unpacking. We just got in from the Coromandel.

Yeah, it's embarrassing.

So, I know that the police have talked to all the neighbours, so this won't take a sec.

Well, we're... we're truly sorry what happened to Paddy, of course, you know, but...

he was a grumpy old guy.

Not that we wanna speak ill of the dead.

He was grumpy to everyone, or did you two get special treatment?

Any time we did anything, he'd complain.

We painted the house in grey warbler; he complained. -

We planted star jasmine; he complained.

And it wasn't just Paddy; it was Josie as well. She was just as bad.

Look, I mean, they weren't happy unless there was something to moan about.

Paddy gave himself a heart attack last year.

How does someone give themselves a heart attack?

Getting wound up over Hamish and Monique's dogs.

Hamish and Monique are the neighbours on the other side? - Yeah, lovely people. Lovely.

But Paddy gave them hell. I mean, this one time, mid-tantrum,

he was going off at them, clutches his chest, and over he goes.

And even though he'd been yelling abuse, Monique still gave him CPR. Saved his life.

Then the ambulance carted him off. A week later, he was back at it again.

And the experience didn't make him any nicer. - It did not.

Not that you want to speak ill of the dead.

Look, I wouldn't wish what happened on anybody, but he's a very unpleasant man.

What about you, Luke? Would you wish ill on the dead?

'I hope you fall off that bloody roof.' -

Yeah, I, um... Look, I shouldn't have said that.

You know that Josie thinks that one of you two pushed him off the roof. - Of course we know.

Despite there being people there that saw him up there. Alone.

She's mad. - Look, if-- if we'd killed the guy,

do you think we'd be standing here openly bagging him? - I dunno.

I don't know you. - Well, we wouldn't lie.

We're straight-up people. Trust me, what you see is what you get.

Babe?

Thanks so much for that. - No worries.

Gosh, that's bright. - Yeah.

I wanted the warm yellow, but Heather wanted a cool white -- goes with the grey warbler, apparently.

Sure.

Hamish! Monique. - Hi! - Gidday, Luke. How are you?

These guys live on the other side of Josie and Paddy. - How do you do?

This is Alexa. She's from the police. - Well, a friend of the police.

Hi. - Hi there. -

You know how Josie's going on about someone pushing Paddy off the roof? - Yeah, poor thing.

Right. What, and you're here because of that? Do you think there's something in it?

Well, I'm reserving judgement. - Right.

Well, we can all save her the time, though, right?

She's mad as a cut snake. - Come on, mate. - Well, she has gone a bit... crazy.

She doesn't want anyone's help. I started a meal train for her,

you know, where people volunteer to provide dinner, and the neighbours really rallied.

Yeah, but then Heather saw her pouring a beautiful vegan green curry into a wheelie bin...

...like it was... like it was poison or something.

Yeah, not good..

Hey, I noticed that you guys have got security cameras in front and back.

Do you think they captured any images from the night that Paddy died? - Yeah, maybe.

We hardly bother checking them, cos the dogs set them off quite a bit.

But the data's sent to my cloud, so, I mean, you can have a look at it if you want.

I'd love that. Now? - Yeah. Yeah, come on through. - Yeah, sure. Cool.

Great. - Cool.

Nice to meet you, Luke. - Yeah. Like-- Actually, um...

Here, take that. If you need anything.

Thanks. - OK.

We definitely had our moments with Paddy.

Nothing like Luke and Heather, though.

Well, let's just say he wasn't much of a dog lover.

Don't tell me he gave you a hard time about them. - Every single day.

The little rascal used to get into his yard, and he used to, you know, dig underneath.

Only a couple times, though, babe. - But Paddy used to get so wound up.

Yeah, I heard he had a heart attack, like, right in front of you.

Yeah. Lucky Monnie was there. - Well, it was instinct, really. My training kickedin.

Now, Alexa, I am making cocktails. Would you like a little dirty martini?

I'm good. - OK.

Here we are. December 24th.

It buzzed about a half dozen times, so you might be able to find something on there.

Can you airdrop that to me? - Yes. Well, this computer's a bit ancient for that.

I think you mean you're the ancient one, babe, who doesn't know how to work it.

Do you want me to email it to you? - That would be awesome. - Great.

Really appreciate your help. - anything to keep the peace.

Look, the old boy fell off the roof. That's it. You know?

If you can convince Josie of that, there'd be a lot of grateful people out there.

So, I found a couple of things in the council records.

Madison. Someone put an ugly collar on my cat.

An application from Luke and Heather

to build a new carport two years ago. - I didn't see no carport.

Madison, the collar. - Yeah, that'll be because the building consent was turned down.

Complaints from neighbours. - Our friends Paddy and Josie.

Collar!

Any ideas? - It was on sale, and I couldn't resist.

It's Christmas-themed. - It's red and green. - With snowflakes!

It's cute, though, right? - No, not cute.

You may notice that the Christmas tree which you installed in December was taken down January1st,

cos I don't like it when seasons linger, and I don't like it when they start too early.

Why can we not just live?

Why does everything have to be an occasion?

Ooh, hey. Turn on the TV.

This is the security camera footage from the other neighbours, Hamish and Monique.

Yeah, between August and November,

Paddy called the noise control on them seven times -- dogs barking.