The Simpsons

The Simpsons - Season 20 Episode 07 "MyPods and Boomsticks"

PROSPERITY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

I WILL NOT BRING THE CHALKBOARD AT HOME

SPRINGFIELD MALL

DEC, 26 CHRISTMAS-IS-OVER-SALE!

PLEASE REPORT ALL SANTAS TO SECURITY

# Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree, #

# You're on the curb and dead now #

# Your Christmas lights are in the box. In two months we will change the clocks #

# Oh, Christmas tree, oh... #

Gee, they sure give the Christmas spirit the bum's rush around here.

And they've already started exploiting the next holiday.

MEET MARTIN LUTHER KING

So, young man, have you judged people

by the content of their character this year?

Yes, Reverend Doctor.

- Lunchtime! - Free at last! Free at last!

Okay, remember our deal--

everyone gets to return one Christmas present with no hurt feelings.

I'm returning this kitten calendar.

Um, I'm also returning this kitten calendar.

Kitten calendar.

Hey, those are 15 month calendars! That gives you three extra kittens!

That's the last time I get you guys a Christmas present at the last minute.

Man, those are ugly kittens!

Mom, Dad! Our mall got a Mapple store!

It's so sterile!

MyPods! MyPhones!

A Brainiac Bar!

My question is the following statement:

Operating System 4.2

has sloppier architecture than a Tijuana anthill.

Did you get peanut butter in your Ethernet port again?

No. I got mayonnaise in the CD drive.

Hmm! I see you're admiring our MyCube.

It's fueled by dreams and powered by imagination.

- What does it do? - You should ask yourself,

"What can I do for it?"

Okay. What can I do for you? Please, I'm begging you!

Sir, it's not even turned on yet.

- But it's glowing. - That light confirms that it's off.

I can't afford any of your products

but can I buy some fake white earbuds,

so people will think I have a MyPod?

Sure, those are called "MyPhonies."

Oh, and they cost $40.

Oh, I'll never get a Mapple anything.

I hate this MyPod!

I can't watch movies on a screen this small.

And the music today-- don't get me started!

I said, don't get me started!

Come on, isn't someone going to get me started?!

Uh, let's go, Teeny. Maybe somebody at Old Navy will get me started.

- Here kid, you take it. - Thank you, Krusty!

Oh, don't thank me.

Thank the Jewish Clown Awards gift basket.

I'm a Mapple person!

- We're all Mapple people. - Sorry.

Attention, Mapple universe!

Prepare for a live announcement

from Mapple founder and Chief Imaginative Officer Steve Mobbs.

Steve Mobbs?! He's here?!

He's a genius!

He's like a god who knows what we want!

Greetings, it is I, your insanely great leader, Steve Mobbs.

I'm speaking to you from Mapple headquarters

deep below the sea, with an announcement

that will completely change the way you look at everything!

And that announcement is...

You're all losers!

You think you're cool because you buy a $500 phone with a

picture of a fruit on it?! Well, guess what?

They cost eight bucks to make and I pee on every one!

I have made a fortune off you chumps

and I've invested it all in Microsoft!

Now my boyfriend, Bill Gates, and I

kiss each other on a pile of your money!

Traitor! Your heart is blacker than your turtleneck!

Who dares question the boss we fired 10 years ago

and then brought back? - It was my brother Bart!

Flay him with your earbuds! Flay him, I say!

MyCube, take me away!

Get him!

Get him! Go!

Stupid angry mob,

chasing me because I shine a harsh light on modern society.

Now I know how Dane Cook feels.

Mmm, what's that exotic aroma?

It smells like a hamburger cooked at a rug store.

Hello. Would you like some lamb?

Whoa! All these years I've been petting lambs

when I should've been shoving them in my mouth!

- I'm Bart. - I'm Bashir.

My family and I just moved here, from Jordan.

Jordan. That's on some map somewhere, right?

Bashir, introduce me to your new friend.

Bashir, you didn't tell me you had a sister.

Such a charmer. Would you like to stay for dinner?

Hey, I never refuse food from strangers.

Okay, you're new to our school, so here's the deal: we call Skinner, "Skin-rash,"

Mr. Wiener is "Mr. Whiner,"

and Groundskeeper Willie, "Grounds-Creeper Stupid."

Ah, that's not clever! And I have so many aspects you can mock!

I'm poor, I'm dirty,

I can't read or write, I think movies are real!

Okay, next, here's the food at the cafeteria that will make you sick:

coleslaw, tuna, all chowders and gumbos.

The only thing that's safe is the pork chops.

My religion says I can never eat pork.

A different religion?! Do not tell anyone that

because if the bullies around here find out that you're different...

Who's different?

What's your name, sweat stain?

- Uh, Bashir. - "Bash here"?

I love a kid that comes with directions.

Okay, Bashir.

Tell us where you came from so we can punch you back there.

I'm going to punch you extra hard 'cause I secretly think you're cute.

You can't just whale on him because he's--

What religion are you anyway?

- Muslim. - Oh, boy.

You're the reason I can't carry toothpaste on an airplane!

Look, guys, everyone's different.

Jimbo, you're Christian, Dolph, you're Jewish,

and, Kearney, your family's in that cult Moe started.

I had to join. My mom's doing the savior.

- I mean, the one true Moe. - You're the one true mo.

Help me, almighty Moe!

Can't. I'm not really a god.

I was just acting crazy to get out of jury duty.

Look at Lisa Simpson, over there by herself.

Not talking to us, her best friends!

Do we hate her? YES!

Lisa, we came to tell you that we...

Is that a MyPod?

Yeah. I've already downloaded so much incredible music!

Check out "Moon Dreams" from Miles Davis' "Birth of the cool".

Or, check out this MyTunes exclusive episode of Itchy & Scratchy.

DIEPOD SLAYLIST

EINSTEIN'S BRAIN

USS UNSINKABLE

Why?!

REMORSE - GUILT - SHAME

RECRIMINATION - REGRET - RUE

TIME MACHINE

Stop!

A BOMB

THE '70s... STUDIO 54

Marge, I installed all the low-energy bulbs.

What have you done with the old ones?

Disposed of them in an environmentally friendly manner.

- Salaam alaikum! - Salaam alaikum!

Milhouse is looking good!

He's got contacts, changed color, got a cool new catchphrase.

Salaam alaikum!

Dad, that's Bashir, my new friend.

- Bart forgot this, sir. - Sir?

That's the kind of respect you'd have to strangle out of an American kid.

You know, Bart never told me he had a handsome teenage brother.

- Oh, uh, I'm really 38. - 38 waist I might believe.

Hey, Carl, got any idea what direction Mecca's in?

Why don't you ask Homer?

He ought to know, by dint of his son's new friend.

Hey, Bashir's great.