An Evening with Tim Heidecker

Good, how are you?

Nice to meet you.

I wish I had lost a little weight for this.

But maybe it's good.

You know what, I set button at the wrong time.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...Tim Heidecker!

Hey!

- - Hey!

What's going on? Whoo, shit!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just don't fuckin' touch it.

Oh, shit.

Watch it.

Uh...

Uh...

Fuckin' A! Fuckin' A!

What the fuck's the matter with this?

One, two.

This should be up.

What are you gonna do? I can't fuckin' do it.

I don't know what I'm doing.

This has to be fuckin' down.

This is what I'm fuckin' talking about.

This doesn't fuckin' go in.

One, two. Thank you.

Okay, thank you.

Let's start it again from the...

All right, thank you. Can you cut the music?

We'll just start from the top.

Uh...

Thank you, Brook. Can you cut the--

Hey, John, can you cut the music, please?

- Cut the music. -

We're changing this. We'll take it from one.

Just cut the... Can you cut the fuckin' music, John?

Turn the... John.

Turn the fuckin' music off, John!

- Turn it the fuck off! -

The fuck is the matter with you?

Fuck you!

The fuck!

Why don't they fuckin' get it?

Get the fuckin' music off!

Turn the fuckin' music! Turn the fuckin' music off!

The fuck is the matter with you?

- Turn it the fuck off! -

- Turn it the fuck... -

Thank you. Okay, all right.

This whole setup, this whole fuckin' place

has been a nightmare.

I've been here since 6:00 in the fuckin' morning

teching this goddamn show.

And everybody here, I'm talking the camera guys,

the fuckin'... the people that work here

have been treating me like shit from the minute I got here.

And they get this junk.

This fuckin' shit from Guitar Center,

these mic stands, and it's been a setup.

I mean, it's been a fuckin' setup.

Are you happy? Are we happy to be here tonight?

Let's hear it. Friday night. TGIF!

A water. I need a water.

Let's go, come on!

Wow.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

My name is Tim Heidecker. I'm a comedian.

When I tell people that, they say, "What do you mean?

Like Tim Allen?" I say, "A-whoo!"

Uh, little bit about myself.

I was just recently named one of the top five

funniest people in America by a comedy magazine.

- - Thank you.

Uh, what else? Um...

I'm a guy's guy.

I think we should get that out of the way.

I know, I'm a guy's guy. Hello.

I'm a guy's guy. I love T and A, right?

Wait, no, no, no.

The PC police are like...

We got a criminal here, but everybody can relax.

Everybody can take it down because when I say T and A,

I'm talking about tokin' and ale, so...

What else? I love food.

Is everybody here... I mean, I love food.

I guess I'm a foodie. I don't know.

I'm a foodie.

Sue me, I'm a foodie.

I, uh...

I said to my friend, and he said,

"You gotta use this in the show,"

I said, um, I said...

"If I ever get to go to another planet," right?

I said, "If I ever get to go to another planet,

I will not be saying, 'Take me to your leader.'"

Right, you see that in the movies.

"Take me to your leader."

I'll be saying, "Take me to your sushi."

That's what a foodie I am.

Um...

So, listen, folks, like I said,

I'm one of the top five comedians in the country.

And...

I, uh, I've been doing this for a long time.

Been doing this for about ten years.

How many people have been with me for ten years?

And I've had a great career.

I've gone out there.

I've played everywhere you can imagine.

And I've been telling my jokes.

I've been entertaining people, making people laugh.

And I love doing it. It's an honor

to be able to do it for you guys tonight.

So...

But here's what's happened.

Recently I've been sort of going through the motions.

You know, I've been sort of just kind of coming out here,

the brain turns off, the material turns on,

and I just kinda go through this time-tested, great material

that's been so successful for me.

And really, it's been a great experience.

But as an artist, as somebody that's always trying

to push the envelope and push things forward

creatively and for my audience,

I feel like it's time for me to put myself to the test,

to challenge myself.

And that's the reason I developed this new technique

that I'm so excited to debut tonight,

and I've never tried it before.

So this is like kinda nerve-wracking.

I am going to try something I've called...

I'm calling in my head comedy without a net.

And what that means is...

I'm... I got these jokes, I got these great jokes, okay?

Like great material. Time-tested.

And I'm putting it in my pocket.

Not gonna take a look.

I'm going to access this.

I'm going to access the creative,

the improvisational, the ad-libbery of it all.

The sort of t-t-tapping into sort of

what my friends say are sort of like, you know,

you think something's off with this guy.

Right? Like...

And I don't know what's gonna happen.

I really don't.

It's a blank slate in front of me.

And you know, everyone's kind of worried.

I see the faces are like, uh-oh.

But you know what? I got these just in case.

I'm not saying we're gonna use them, but...

Should we do it or not? Or should I just...?

I could do this. I could... I could do this.

Or should we do comedy without a net?

- I mean, it's up to you. -

What do you want to do? Let's do it.

Let's do... Let's throw the shit to the wind.

Let's riff, right? Should we riff?

Here we go.

All right! Riffin' up.

Where to begin? I don't even know.

That's what's funny about it.

Um...

Well, the... I was gonna say the fires, um...

Uh, that's not right.

Downtown L.A., am I right?

It's funny, it's like...

It's a whole other pla... It's just different.

It's different.

This part of L.A.'s different. Whatever.

Uh...

What, uh...

What's your name? With the hat, what's...?

- Julie. - Julie.

Okay, Julie...

Julie in the sky with, no, uh...

Julie...

Julia Roberts.

How about you? What's your name, good looking?

- Colin. - Colin.

Colin all car... Colin all cars.

Colin all cars. Colin all cars.

He's like, don't stop, get it...

Give me a break.

Oh, what else? How about you?

- Nick. - Nick!

Just in the nick of time.

You see, he showed up just in the nick of time.

Colin all cars. Just in the nick of time.

Julia Roberts here today. What else?