Doors Open

Oh, what did you do that for?

This piece, called simply The Card Players, Les Joueurs de Carte,

is currently the most expensive painting in the world.

It shows us the two peasants, simple men of Provence, playing cards.

The table is bare because they can't even afford to play for money.

And yet this piece

is rumoured recently to have been sold

for more than $250 million.

So what do you wanna do? Do you wanna come to this art thing or go home to Margot?

Would you rather I wasn't there? I don't wanna cramp your style.

You're not gonna cramp my style. That's why I asked you to come.

Why would you cramp my style? Well, you're not there for the art.

Yes, I am. You're not.

It's a damning indictment

on the way we measure art in today's world

that we focus more on the price

than on the art itself,

on the beauty before us.

It's all a bit pretentious, isn't it ? That's because you don't understand it.

I do. Really? What's your favourite painting? My favourite painting?

It's a simple question. What's your favourite painting? McKenzie! Mike!

Charlie Calloway.

How's it going? Not so bad.

Looking good! Nice to see you, Charlie.

Aye, you, too! I hear you're doing all right for yourself.

What is it, computers? Yeah, something like that.

I'm into property myself. Oh, yeah? 100 percent legit.

I've got a big office block if either of you two gents are interested.

You boys want a wee Babycham? Oh, we've gotta be somewhere. Next time.

Aye. Nice to see you.

Aye.

That's all for today.

Lovely to see you.

Hello, Mike. Hey, Laura.

Tell me about this. It's oil on wood, painted in 1895.

It's the artist's wife. She was his model first and then they got married.

It's definitely got something. Yeah.

But it's not his most polished work technically

speaking. You see this smudge here?

He's brushed it with his hand when he was working on the face or the eyes.

It adds depth to it. Mm.

Do you like it? Yes, I do.

I love it. Ah, there you are.

Guess who I found tucking into the free booze. I wonder. Professor.

I was getting one for Mike. Of course you were.

Allan Cruickshank, Laura Stanton.

How do you do? Nice to meet you, Allan.

Anything caught your eye? There was an Archibald

Peddie that I rather fancied. You, Mike?

The Monboddo's worth a look.

Monboddo, really?

Oh, that's interesting. Excuse me, gentlemen.

Back of the net, Mike. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

I've had a lot of interest in this lot and I can start the bidding

at £20,000. I open up at £20,000.

Thank you, gentleman in the front. £20,000. Do I have £22,000?

Good man, £22,000. Do I have 24?

Any more interest at £30,000, ladies and gentlemen?

£32,000, new bidder to my left. Thank you. £32,000.

The bid is at £32,000. 34? The bid is at £40,000 in the room.

Any more interest at £40,000? On the phones, £45,000.

Just got interesting, ladies and gentlemen. £45,000 on the phone. Do we have 50?

Do I have £50,000? Thank you.

£50,000 in the room, ladies and gentlemen.

The bid is at £50,000. Do I have 55?

£70,000 in the room, ladies and gentlemen.

Do I have any more interest at £70,000? Do I have £75,000?

The bid is at £70,000 in the room.

Do I have any more interest at £70,000?

Fair warning on £70,000.

Is that as far as we go, £70,000?

Sold to the gentleman on my left for £70,000.

The Monboddo's yours. It's a gift.

I can't. Why?

Because it's against the rules.

Move in.

Then you can see it every day.

"..a familiar sight on Edinburgh's famous skyline."

But like many other landmark banks in the city,

First Cally seems to be feeling the pressure of the credit crunch

with several jobs rumoured to be under threat.

Meanwhile, it was officially confirmed yesterday

that local company McKenzie Electronics is being

bought out by a Japanese components company.

"Edinburgh entrepreneur and millionaire Mike McKenzie was upbeat."

"Opportunities like this don't come along very often.

It seemed like the right time to sell up and move on."

Listen, Margot, you know how things are around here.

There's just not gonna be those kind of bonuses.

The school fees are killing me as it is!

I've gotta go. I'll call you back. Yeah, I promise.

Allan Cruickshank? That's right.

They... We would like to see you upstairs in human resources.

Right. OK. Er, just check the old diary.

Erm, you've been scheduled for 2:15 tomorrow.

2:15?

You must run a very tight ship up in human resources.

Yes, we're very busy with all the staff reviews.

Thanks.

Good morning, Martin. Morning, professor.

There's somebody waiting for you, by the way.

I sent him down to the vault.

He's from the bank. Brand new Mercedes. Top of the range.

Hello, darlings.

I'm very sorry, I don't think I've had the pleasure.

Professor Gissing, I presume. Yes.

Bruce Cameron from Cameron Fine Arts.

I've actually left you several messages.

Yes, well, I don't deal directly with galleries.

Ah, well, you see, we're not a gallery, we're consultants,

as I think you know. How thrilling.

Yes. Well, erm...

Well, I must say, this is a splendid collection.

How long have you been helping the bank acquire these works?

Erm, the best part of 25 years.

The old chairman at First Caledonian was most particular

that we selected the very finest Scottish works

and we rotate our selection carefully

from branch to branch of the bank.

There's a whole nation's history here.

Kept in trust for the Scottish people by a Scottish bank.

So, tell me, how is the inventory coming along?

The inventory is coming along rather slowly, alas.

Ah.

I see no-one's actually spoken to you.

Spoken to me? (SIGHS) Erm...

The bank want to move rather more swiftly, I'm afraid.

We have been brought in to evaluate the collection,

to make an analysis and to advise on the best possible

strategic approach for... taking it to market.

To market? As quickly as possible.

I was told this collection is safe.

I was given personal assurances by Sir Ian.

I... This is a disgrace!

I can under... This collection is unique!

Yes, believe me, I understand how you must feel...

Oh... I don't think you do.

As a matter of fact, it's one of the reasons why I...

have chosen to bring in Miss Stanton

to help manage the transition.

I believe that you and she are old friends.

Laura?

My Laura? I can't believe Laura would do that to you, I really can't.

Well, she has. She's done it.

A stab in the back, it really is. Have you spoken to her?

I haven't had the chance. She's already on her way here. It's a fait accompli.

Sorry I'm late. Bloody horrible day at work.

Ah, I see you've started without me.

What's going on? Has somebody died?

Robert here has just been sacked.

What, by the art college? No, Allan, by your bank.

What do you mean? I mean they're gonna destroy my collection,

break it up and flog it off as if it's so much junk.

Oh, I'm sorry, Robert. Although, it's not like it was your full-time job.

And technically, those paintings are their property.

I warn you, Allan, I'm not in the mood.

It's the new CEO. He's on a mission . Whole floors of people are being sacked.

Nobody tells you anything. It's all done by stealth. You'll be all right.

Well, I hope so. I have a meeting with human resources tomorrow.

You haven't put a foot wrong, have you? Not in 20 years.

Anyway, enough of this doom and gloom. You've

just sold your company . We should be celebrating.

Yeah. Laura is back.

She's in charge of selling the collection.

Bloody hell.

I am still here.

Drink? Drink, yeah. I'll get them.

Three more of these, please. 25 years it's

taken me to put that collection together!

And each picture chosen not just on its merit

but as part of a kind of Scottish symphonic ensemble, you know?

I'm sorry. I know how much that collection meant to you.

Well, they are not gonna get away with it!

I just don't see what you can do about it.

To be honest, I have seen this day coming.

It's a little sooner than I anticipated, but

that doesn't matter. I have it all planned.

I'm gonna need your help. Help? With what?

I have chosen one or two pictures that are close to my heart.

Cadell, Cameron, nothing too ostentatious.

You know them, Mike. Yeah.

Well, I believe we can remove them without too much trouble.

Remove? You mean steal? No, I don't mean steal! I mean liberate.

What, in a heist? Like the Italian Job? If you like.

Only less Italian. I can't quite see you in a mini, Robert.

Can you, Mike? Oh, bugger it.

Allan, what hotel do the bank put people up in?

What?

Which... Oh, never mind. It'll probably be the Sheraton. Please, Mike, don't...

Hello. Er, can you do me a favour?

Can you see if there's a Laura Stanton staying here?

So that's agreed.

You, me and Mike are going to lubricate..

. We're going to liberate those paintings, yes?

So... Shh, don't tell anybody.

It's gonna be the crime of the century. Shh.

We can do it!

Yeah.

Go on, then. Go on.