How I Met Your Mother

? ?

Psst. In here!

I'm safe. Not quite.

The amulet, please, Mr. Stinson.

Why?

Help! Help! The kid.

Help! Hang on, kid.

Grab my tie.

But you're not supposed to take the tie off.

You lost a bet with your friends Lily and Marshall

which requires you to wear the tie for a full year.

If it means saving your life, I think they'll understand!

They sound like nice people!

Yeah, they are.

Grab that...

Come on.

That's it.

Thanks, Mister.

How can I repay you?

You can stay in school, that's how.

No!

True story.

But golly, I'm just gonna miss

the heck out of that ducky tie. I really am.

Look what I just found in the trash.

No!

Kids, you haven't truly lived until somewhere,

somebody puts a sign up because of something you did.

For instance...

Have you guys seen that sign out front that says

"Absolutely No Boogie-Boarding"?

What's that all about?

Oh, that's a great story. You got time for it?

Well, I'm supposed to go to my mom's birthday party, so...

please make it as long as you can.

Well, it happened a few months ago.

The night of the hurricane...

Kids, it was August 26, 2011,

and Hurricane Irene was barreling towards New York.

Guys, guys, guys.

This storm is serious.

Luckily, you are friends with a former Boy Scout.

And a Boy Scout is always what?

Unpopular? Beaten up?

Going to the movies with his mom?

A Boy Scout is always prepared.

Prepared to spend lunch in his locker?

Prepared to die a virgin?

Prepared to paint his sister's nails?

Prepared for emergencies!

That's why a week ago,

when Irene was just a tropical depression-

You're a tropical depression.

This guy got us...

a disaster backpack,

and a rental car that seats five, parked right outside.

We're gonna drive up to my place in Westchester

where we'll all be safe.

Boy Scouted! You're welcome.

Ted's right, we should go.

Hey, on the way out of the city,

do you mind if we stop at my place so I can get something?

Okay, what did you have to get?

My drink on. We're not going anywhere.

What? No!

We don't have time for this! We gotta get going!

Ted, I'm older than you. Yeah.

And taller. Just older.

And when you reach my age, and height,

you'll see that things like this hurricane are no big deal.

They're going to close the bridges.

You guys, we got to get out of here.

I'm afraid I'm with blondie on this one.

This storm is nothing. I'm from Vancouver.

You know what we call this in the Couv?

Barbecue weather.

Yeah, I'm with these guys.

Drinking beer in front of Barney's giant TV

beats sitting in the car

listening to Memoires of a Geisha.

Come on, we're at the best part.

Oh, it's my mom, checking to see if I'm okay.

Hey, Mom.

Ooh, Mommy! It's drizzling out!

I'm so scared!

Bikini weather.

Marshall, you're with me, right?

Sorry, old friend.

But I can't afford to tempt fate.

Oh right, I was being really weird.

I should explain.

Last summer I quit my job.

And then, a week before the hurricane...

Huh, my medical insurance just expired.

That gives me two uninsured weeks before I'm added to your plan.

It's no biggie.

Ow! Paper cut.

Death is all around us.

So for the next two weeks

he was basically a really clingy Edgar Allan Poe.

The Grim Reaper beckons.

I feel his icy grip around my throat,

the breath of his hounds at my heels,

the unrelenting rat-tat-tat of his scythe on my chamber door.

And you, with your blithe request,

you only hasten his inevitable triumph.

Is that what you desire?

Is that what you desire, Lily?

I just wanted you to get us some bagels.

Bagels?!

Do you have any idea

what could happen to me whilst getting bagels?!

What the...?! No, not like this!

Fine. I'll go get the bagels.

No!

Why not?

And remember, not too much cream cheese.

Half a shmear, max.

Thanks, baby.

No! No! Not like this!

Okay, now you're just being ridiculous.

Well, life is ridiculous, Lily!

People get run over by buses

and hit in the nuts by skateboards, bitten by babies.

Nobody wakes up and says, "Today I'm gonna star

in a YouTube video."

You've said that at least a dozen times.

Lily, for the next two weeks

you must be by my side protecting me.

Why, what's gonna happen?

Answer: a hurricane.

Just let me take off the tie! Please!

I have to wear this at work.

Do you have any idea what that's like?

If the SEC pursues charges, it's going to be all our asses.

Nobody takes this more seriously than I do.

Please, can I take it off?

You... may... knot.

With a "K."

A little tie pun.

This is far from over.

You have a price, Eriksen, and I will find it.

When the end of day is nigh, I'll have taken off this tie.

I'm going to like the way I look, I guarantee it.

So boogie-boarding...

Boogie-boarding. So I was trying to get these guys to leave.

Hey, Nerdlinger,

what's with the safety boner?

I mean, come on.

The disaster kit, the car, the ladies' rain boots-

Uh, they're men's.

Pink is just easier to spot from the rescue chopper.

Look, forgive me for caring about you guys,

but you're my best friends in the world

and I just want to make sure you're okay.

Ah. Ted, you are a giant whining bummer.

Barney...

Come on, Ted,

this storm is not a big deal.

This storm is a big deal.

Let's replay that harrowing footage

of Irene touching down in North Carolina.

We gotta get out of here!

Go, go! Come on, come on!

Please let me take it off! No.

$5,000? No.

Is he serious?

$10,000?

No. Dudes, take the money.

$20,000? No.

Yes. I'll let you slap me in the face

as hard as you can. You have my attention.

Kids, you remember Marshall and Barney's slap bet.

A few years earlier, Barney lost a bet to Marshall.

His penalty was five slaps delivered anyplace, anytime.

So far, Marshall had slapped Barney four times.

Which meant he only had one slap left.

What do you say, Marshall?

Are you going to seize this slap-ortunity

or let it slap through your fingers?

Don't let him tempt you, Marshall.

I don't know, Lily. I mean we have a baby on the way.

An extra slap could really come in handy.

No! No!

This is crazy.

You having to wear that tie for another ten months

is all the satisfaction I need.

Plus,

I still have one slap left,

and that feels good. But if you didn't have that slap left-

if say, I were to get you to slap me tonight-

I suppose that would change everything.

I suppose it would.

Le jeu commence.

Je m'appelle Marshall.

So boogie-boarding... Boogie-boarding.

So I was trying to get these guys to leave,

but there was one little problem.

Come on, let's go.

I'm staying.