On the Basis of Sex

Anyone here?

My name is Erwin Griswold.

I am the dean of this place.

Welcome to Harvard Law School.

Take a moment to look around you.

In this room,

there are Rhodes and Fulbright Scholars,

Phi Beta Kappa members,

student body presidents,

and a Harvard football team captain.

Together...

you will become lawyers.

This is a privilege you share.

It is also a responsibility you accept.

Consider...

what does it mean to be a Harvard man?

A Harvard man is intelligent, of course,

but he is also tenacious.

He is a leader devoted to the rule of law.

He is mindful of his country, loyal to tradition,

and he is respectful and protective

of our institutions.

"The net operating loss deductions

"by the year shall be computed as of Subsection A

of this section, applied to such tax review..."

Which one makes me look more like a Harvard man?

I'm thrilled to report

that you look nothing like a Harvard man.

Seriously? It's the dean's dinner, Marty.

You know how I am at these things.

I-I need to make a good impression.

And you will, Kiki, but you've got it wrong.

It's not the dress. It's you.

You haven't touched your tuna casserole.

Come here, sweetie. Come.

There we go.

I put onions in. They help, right?

Definitely.

I don't like either of these.

Okay, where were we?

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, please join us

in the dining room as dinner is served.

And, professors, please escort the ladies in.

After you. Please.

May I?

He remembers everything.

He said, "Professor,

have you corrected our papers?"

And I said, "Correcting them will take a lifetime.

I'm merely grading them."

Oh, wait a minute.

Esteemed colleagues, ladies.

This is only the sixth year women have had the privilege

to earn a Harvard law degree.

This little soiree is our way of saying welcome.

My wife Harriet and I

are very glad all nine of you have joined us.

Let us go around the table,

and each of you ladies report who you are, where you're from,

and why you're occupying a place at Harvard

that could have gone to a man.

Yeah.

Well...

why don't you get us started, dear?

I'm Hennie Callaghan.

Father's a lawyer back in Minneapolis.

He used to give me drafts of contracts

to use for drawing paper.

But at some point,

I got more interested in reading them

than drawing on them.

In a few years, it's gonna be Callaghan and Callaghan.

That was fine.

Next.

Emily Hicks.

Hello. Connecticut.

When I finished Mount Holyoke,

my mother wanted me to get married.

But I didn't want to do that,

and I didn't want to be a teacher

- or a nurse, so when I... - Ah.

That's not a very good reason.

Next.

- Oh. - Watch it.

Sorry.

Uh, I'm...

Ruth Ginsburg from Brooklyn.

And why are you here, Miss Ginsburg?

Uh, M-Mrs. Ginsburg, actually.

My husband Marty is in the second-year class.

I'm at Harvard to learn more about his work,

so I can be a more patient and understanding wife.

Come to dinner. The beans will be boiled,

the chicken will be stewed, and you will be grilled.

We came to Harvard to be lawyers. Why else?

It's truly an asinine question.

He's never gonna take me seriously.

No, that's not true.

You're the smartest person here,

and you're gonna be the most prepared.

So just stand up and say what you know.

At a place like this, that's all that matters.

In my experience, even small mistakes

are glaring when you stick out.

Well, then you're very lucky.

Because you...

are very... short.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Well...

why don't you come down here

and say that to my face.

Mrs. Ginsburg.

I am Professor Brown.

This is Introduction to Contracts.

Hawkins versus McGee.

State the case, please...

Mr. Pruitt.

Uh, good morning. I'm Donald Pruitt.

I'm really honored to be here...

Hawkins v. McGee.

Uh, yeah, Hawkins versus McGee, it-it's a fascinating,

uh, breach of contract case where, um...

oh, uh, Charles Hawkins hurt his hand, and McGee had...

Can someone help him, please?

Mr. Fitzpatrick.

It was Charles's son who hurt his hand.

- Electrocution burn. - And at what point

does the case turn, Mr. Fitzpatrick?

McGee promised to fix the hand by performing a skin graft,

but McGee wasn't very familiar with the procedure,

and the results weren't quite what he planned.

Question already, Mrs....

- Ginsburg. - Correction, Professor Brown.

McGee did not simply promise to fix George Hawkins' hand.

He promised, quote, "a 100% good hand."

- That's the same thing. - Is it?

What say you, Mrs. Ginsburg?

It is not.

Words matter.

McGee grafted skin from Hawkins' chest.

Not only did this fail to fix the scarring,

he had chest hair growing on his palm.

Proving that a hand with a burn is worth two with a bush.

The court denied Hawkins' damages.

Hawkins did get damages... the court said

- he could have... - If I may finish.

Hawkins was denied damages for pain and suffering.

The New Hampshire Supreme Court

ruled he was entitled to damages

only based on the contract being fulfilled.

So if Dr. McGee had set realistic expectations

instead of making grand promises,

Hawkins' award likely would have been less.

Was that an answer, Mrs. Ginsburg, or a filibuster?

Mm.

Mm.

- Movie. - Movie.

- Four words. - Four words.

- Second word. - Second word.

- Seven? - Seven.

- Uh-oh. - Fourth word. - Fourth word.

- - Oh! Monkey! - Oh! Gorilla! Monkey business.

- Uh, ape! - Monkey. Monkey.

Ape. Uh...

- Ooh. - Monkey on my back.

Second word, seven. Seven...

Seven... Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?

What does that have to do with monkeys?

- And... - Seven... - Oh, oh, The Seven Year Itch!

- Time! - Yes!

Ruthless Ruthy strikes again.

Okay, next round's riding on you.

- Don't worry, he's very good. - All right.

Thank God, because she actually

broke up with someone for being bad at charades.

- You didn't, really? - Well, it was a manifestation

of his being an idiot.

- See? - Don't worry, I'm comfortable

- being smarter than you. - Oh, thank you.

- All right, everybody ready? - Oh.

- Uh, song. - A song. - Um...

- Uh, Buddy Holly? Uh... - Uh, Bill Haley?

By Elvis.

Uh, three words.

- First word. - Uh, first word.

Uh...

- Uh, table. Um... - A glass?

- Um... - A book!

- Um, uh... - Reading!

Uh, blue!

- Ah! "Blueberry Hill"? - No, that's Fats Domino.

Uh, third word, third word. Floor.

- Carpet. - Dancing?

- Nice moves. - Oh. Ow. Ow. Hold on.

- Oh, no sound effects. - Oh. Oh, "Bl-Blue Suede Shoes."

- Come on, Marty, you're a lightweight. - Marty?

Marty.

- Help! Help! - Is he all right? - Someone get some help!