Magical Girl Friendship Squad

Dude, you're blocking the stairs.

- Welcome to Brooklyn, buddy. - Tourists.

Man, it's bullshit that they laid you off.

Your food craze ideas...

Culinary experience creation innovations.

...were incredible.

Unicorn hot dogs absolutely should have been

- the next mermaid bagel. - Thanks, but it's fine.

Working in that office all day, every day

was draining the life out of me.

Well, now you can finally reject the outdated notion

of job monogamy.

Like for me, before that off-brand snack company fired me

for tweeting that the green M&M could get it,

they wouldn't let me do more

than 20 hours a week on their social.

'Cause that's when they legally have to give you benefits?

Yeah, so I just picked up extra work

doing audio editing for that podcast

where three white dudes review airport bathrooms...

until they also fired me for tweeting

that Amelia Earhart could get it.

I'd be fine with one job to start.

Lulu is gonna kill us if we're late on rent again.

Oh, we'll get jobs.

The next big thing is just around the corner.

And, Alex, can I just say, Lulu can try me.

I watched John Wick 2 last night, and I'm fired up.

Ha! Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. Chun-Li.

Ooh, I love that movie!

Daisy, Daisy, look. I once killed three men in a bar.

With a pencil.

You come after my dog, I'll kill you.

Anyway, I don't even need a job in programming.

Just something simple that doesn't have an awful commute.

Something that's...

in the neighborhood.

Come on.

Alex and Daisy.

I found my guardians.

That energy spike could only mean one thing...

the Creator has taken form in this world.

Ah. I wish my passion for spying on strangers

from behind trash cans could pay the bills.

Oh, well. Back to being a corporate attorney, I guess.

Alex, this is amazing.

If you work here, you can give me so much free coffee.

Plus, I'd finally have a reason to talk to coffee dude.

What do you think he's always studying?

Probably, like, how to be an artisanal beekeeper.

Snore. You literally only like him because he's a blank slate

you can project your fantasies on.

I know.

But remember the time he smiled at me?

Aw...

- Hmm. - Hey, Michaela.

Isn't it weird for you to come here all the time

when you've, you know,

ground beans with all the baristas?

You're such a mom. It's whatever.

Oh, yeah. No-tattoo barista is working today.

That's why she couldn't sleep over last night.

- Do you even know her name? - You don't know his name.

Daisy.

Hey... you.

We peeped that "help wanted" sign in the window.

I'm very qualified.

I just left a job at a culinary experience formation start-up,

so I've worked with stuff just like... CBD lattes.

- Ew. No offense. - Ha, ha.

Do you have barista experience?

- Not specifically, but... - Sorry.

Baristas have to be certified, and to get certification,

you need at least three years of barista experience.

But then, how does anyone become a barista to begin with?

No, no. One must be born a barista.

The Creator is here on Earth in the form of some kind

of small mammal.

The energy levels around her are astronomical.

Do I have your permission

to collect after she leaves the scene?

I have an idea that should reap very powerful results.

Ooh, vegan muffins.

Sorry. Not you.

Well, well, well.

The millennial freeloaders of 2B.

Might I ask where the rent is,

or did you eat it with your avocado toast?

Uh, the first isn't till tomorrow, right?

Yeah, so you better hop off our dicks, Lulu!

Whoa, there. I think what Daisy means is,

we will definitely have the rent on time.

- We respect you. - Good.

Because if it's late again,

I'm slapping an eviction notice on your door

as soon as I get my son over here to fix my printer!

Daisy?

Why is there a raccoon on our couch?

I am not a raccoon.

I have taken the form of a red panda.

My species is endangered, much like your world.

- Alex? - Yup, yup, I hear it.

Talking raccoon on our couch.

Alex, Daisy, I've come to you with an important mission.

Did you microdose me without telling me again?

What's the phone number for animal control?

Put your fingers inside me, and all shall be revealed.

Aah! What's happening?

The butt is sucking us in!

I created this universe and everything in it.

It is one of many universes created by myself

and other beings like me.

But some beings are driven by destruction,

rather than creation.

They seek to destroy this universe

by using its own power against it.

Aah! Hold on. The Internet's out.

Oh, are you on the "Alex and Daisy,

please stop stealing our Wi-Fi or we'll lock it" network?

You'll never believe this.

They locked it!

These evil forces have been amassing your universe's energy

for some time, particularly from this planet,

its largest source of life.

Try 3C's Wi-Fi.

So I suppose you don't want to hear

about the special powers I can grant you?

Powers? Fuck yeah.

Ooh, what kind of powers? Can we wish for a million dollars?

- No. - Oh. What's your name, creepy panda?

I have chosen the Earth name "Isis"

after the ancient Earth goddess.