The Lemon Drop Kid

What?

A long shot?

This race?

Can't miss?

Thanks, baby.

Take two carrots out of petty cash.

I'll check with you.

Come on, kid.

Let's go.

Why?

What am I doing?

Touting again.

Touting?

Him?

Now, listen, kid.

We've seen you use some pretty wild schemes.

Why?

Is it a crime this horse happens to have

A sweet tooth for lemon drops?

Yeah, but you're using this on these crazy horse players,

They'll think the horse is giving you a tip.

Well, you know it and I know it and the horse knows it.

But it'll sound very peculiar in court.

Just step out of line once, Kid.

The handcuffs are ready.

Lay off me, will you?

And if I get lucky, I'll buy you some ice with waters.

To think just last Thursday, I went for one of his tips.

You, too?

I tell you, George, I've got a hunch on Mince Pie.

Remember that time you ate that woman's pie,

And you couldn't go to work the next day because you were sick?

And the office was struck by lightning.

Ellen, that horse isn't going to run any faster

Just because its name is Mince Pie.

Mince Pie is a pretty good three-year-old.

Going to win a lot of races.

That is, if its leg gets well.

You... you think there's something wrong with his leg?

Think?

I'm the track vet.

It's a "precastinary" infection of the "fedasorial" area,

Which... oh, inflamed ligaments.

Imagine allowing a horse to race with a bad leg.

Half of these horses should be in wheelchairs.

It's the only reason they fight for the rail,

It gives them something to lean on.

Would you believe it, there's only one

Sound horse in the race?

Doctor?

Doctor.

Mm-hm?

You said there was only one horse that wasn't sick.

Please, Doc, which one?

All that information is confidential, you know?

Sort of between doctor and patient.

We wouldn't tell anybody.

You could share your secret with us.

And we'd share our winnings with you.

Oh no, please, please.

That would be unethical.

However, if after the race, you'd

Like to donate something to the clinic?

We're so overcrowded, we have two horses in every bed.

Oh, certainly, we will.

Uh, which horse feels well?

Well, if I were a betting man, I'd

Consider (WHISPERS) S-I-X a very lucky number.

S-I...

Shh.

All right, shush.

S-I-X. That's Rhumba Dancer.

Come on, Ellen.

Thank you, Doctor.

You're a credit to your profession.

Oh, ho, it's nothing.

Uh, excuse me.

Pardon me for crowding in, but I flew all the way from Chicago

To see my brother ride this race.

First time I get to see him ride a winner.

His brother's a jockey.

Funny thing.

Mom always thought he was going to be the tall one.

How do you know your brother's going to win?

Lots of ways it's fixed, unless they

Try to pull something crooked.

Sometimes, the horses make their own deals, too, you know.

Uh, well, uh, what's your brother's name?

We'd like to cheer for him, too.

If you knew that, you'd know which horse.

Oh, you won't be sorry.

I'll take care of you after the race.

A big chunk.

Oh.

Well, I don't care about the money so much.

After all, you do look like decent people.

The number is S-E-V-E-N.

S-E-V-E-N. That's Iron Bar.

Oh, we're so glad we happened to meet you.

Would you believe it?

This is the first race we've won today.

Well, then...

Oh, there... there's your brother now.

Hm?

Oh, hi, Jerry!

Mom and Dad send their love.

Lots of luck, kid!

See how he pretends not to know me?

Smartest little operator around.

I tell you, sir, I know we race Christmas Day.

Look, sonny, I got to be sure.

Now, go ask Judge Wilkinson for me.

Mm-hm.

They're still printing dollars, huh?

Oh, I beg your pardon, ma'am?

Y'all addressing me?

Well, honey child,

Did y'all just dropped this $5 bill?

Oh, I... I couldn't have.

Mine are all hundreds.

Yeah, mine, too.

It must belong to some Yankee.

Well, y'all must be as lucky as you are beautiful.

My gentleman friend is betting all this on Iron Bar.

Iron Bar?

Well, corn my pone and chit my chitlins!

I was going to drop a handsome figure on that animal

Myself until my uncle told me the race was fixed.

Your uncle?

Yeah.

Well, that's Judge Wilkinson.

He's the president of the Turf Club,

And also, the head judge of the finish line.

I'm just waiting now for him to give me the nod.

He's investigating, of course.

My, head judge!

That's him.

The one with the pretty girl.

He gives me $1 to ask you if we race on Christmas Day.

He won't take my word for it.

Must be a tourist.

Well, if the race is fixed for Iron Bar to lose,

You must know who's going to win.

Yeah, but I couldn't divulge information

Like that.

I've been sworn to secrecy.

I gave my word as a true gentleman of the South.

I swore on a stack of black eyed peas and candied yams.

This message had been binded.

There's 2,000 cash money here.

My gentleman friend would take good care of you

After the race.

Well, bless your heart, honey child.

Uh, the number is, uh, E-I-G-H, y'all, T.

You mean Lightning Streak?

None other.

Thank you, sir.

Uh, after the race, I'll meet you at the lettuce counter.

We'll settle up.

Y'all understand.

Lightning Streak!

Hey, kid.

You getting on the big time?

I'm expanding my business.

I'm branching into the $100 window.

Did you get a load of that loot?

There's a tomato with her own cabbage patch.

2 G's!

Mm-hm.

Ow!

What do you expect?

Moose Moran always bets heavy.

Moose Moran?

You mean that doll belongs to Moose Moran?

You didn't know it?

Hey, you better be sure you gave him a winner.

A winner?

I don't know one horse from another.

I better grab her and tell her the fix is off, have her change

Her number. Say...

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): There they go!

It's Iron Bar taking the lead.

Lightning Streak.

Where are you?

You want my blood on your hands.

Lightning!

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): Lightning Streak is 11 to 7 to pole.

Daddy, I met the nicest man.

I gave you 2,000 to bet on Iron Bar.

I know, but Iron Bar doesn't have a chance.

The nice man told me who all's going to win the race.

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): End of the back stretch,

Iron Bar lengthening out.

Was this nice man eating lemon drops?

Y'all know the nice man?

Mm-hm.

I told the nice man y'all give him something after the race.

Yes.

We'll give the nice man something after the race.

ANNOUNCER (OFFSCREEN): Iron Bar now leading 5-7 lengths.