Lessons in Chemistry

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I can't remember the day I was born.

- - I can't remember my parents.

I can't remember how I ended up in this place

where I so clearly wasn't built to be.

The first thing I remember is fear.

- Come on. Come on! Let's go! Let's go! -

I was there to be brave.

I was trained to protect.

I was supposed to act...

- - ...but instead, I was paralyzed.

Come on. Let's go.

I was a coward, and I hated myself for it.

- -

- And then... - You hungry, little fella?

...I met her.

Wait here. I'll be right back.

For the first time in my life,

I felt something other than fear.

I felt safe.

I felt love.

- And love, it can change things. -

I could protect her. I could protect him.

- -

That was my purpose.

- -

But I was wrong.

I couldn't protect him.

And in that moment,

everything I ever thought about myself, every worst fear I had,

it all came true.

Personnel office. This is--

Yeah. Yeah, that's correct.

What?

Oh, my God. When?

Just because things don't happen on your time

doesn't mean that God doesn't have a plan for you.

- - Joseph was betrayed by his brothers,

sold into slavery, but God had his own plan.

- Mm-hmm. - Yes, he did.

David was just a shepherd boy...

- Mama. M-- - ...but God had his own plan.

- Where's Dr. Evans now? -

He's at the funeral home.

I thought he was in the dirt.

He's at the funeral home, waiting to be buried on Tuesday.

Where's his soul?

His soul has gone to heaven to be with God.

Why not his body?

It's in the dirt.

Let's listen to the reverend, okay?

- ...trust that he has a plan. - Yes.

For he will guide us to righteousness.

Yes he will.

- Amen. - Amen.

Gonna add Dr. Evans to my bedtime prayers.

That's beautiful, sweetie.

I'll be right back.

Uh, miss?

Ralph Bailey. I'm writing a story for the Times about Calvin Evans.

I was just wondering if I could ask you a few questions.

I assume you're family.

No.

Oh. First two rows are usually reserved for family, so I-- I assumed...

O-Oh, well, could you tell me how you knew him then?

Maybe share an anecdote? Did you know him long?

No.

No, you...

No, I didn't know him long. I didn't know him long enough.

Well, I'd-- I'd love to get some background.

I've heard some things about him.

One person I spoke to said that he had his moments,

and then another went so far as to call him--

I'm just quoting here-- that he could be a real jerk.

Anyone who knew him would know that is patently false.

I thought you said you didn't know him well.

I said I didn't know him long enough.

Right, that's what I said. That you didn't know him very long.

Wait, I don't think you're supposed to have dogs here.

I saw a sign on the way in.

I'm sorry for your loss.

For everything there is a season. A time to be born and a time to die.

Calvin Evans was a brilliant man, a dedicated chemist

and was always the life and soul of the party.

Calvin Evans had no living family.

And although we cannot know what God is planning for us,

we must trust he is and will always be one of God's children.

As you, his loved ones, his community, mourn this tragic loss,

seek comfort in each other and in Calvin's goodness.

She didn't speak to me for days.

She didn't touch me. She barely looked at me.

I had hoped that time would make her forget

that it was my fault, but how could it?

Because failures have a way of being unforgettable.

- Did he ask you out? - No, I don't want to talk about it.

Look who it is. Don't stare, Bertha.

I can't believe she's here. The body's still warm.

I knew every one of his smells.

The way he smelled after being wet. The way he smelled after being outside.

The way he smelled after a run.

But in here, I smelled nothing.

Mmm. It's fine.

Elizabeth, you're here.

Where are my things? Where are Calvin's things?

Miss Zott, it's too soon to be back here. You need to rest.

I need to work. I need my notebooks, my research.

Calvin and I are so cl-- Or,

we were so close to submitting for the Remsen grant. I cannot miss a day.

Everything went down to storage.

Okay. Do I fill out a form?

Dr. Evans's work now belongs to Hastings.

But that was-- that was our work. We were so close.

- -

Maybe there's a empty lab I could use off-hours?

I'm so sorry. It's just-- It's policy.

What about his personal items? His records, his clothes, his lab coat?

I know the...

...well, unusual relationship that you and Dr. Evans had.

But we have to wait.

We have to see if maybe a brother or blood relative

that can step forward and claim it.

I'm sorry. If you need to cry--

I don't.

I want to work. I need to work, Fran. Please.

Dear, I'm afraid without a chemist to support--

I'm sure money's tight. Let me see what I can do.

Maybe in the admin wing. But Dr. Evans's dog--

If you can come back without the dog, I can get you squared away.

Thank you.

When she left each morning, I was terrified.

Because what if she never came back?

I'm leaving you food. It will be ready at exactly 3:30 p.m.

I'm putting on the TV.

Cartoons, which I normally would avoid, but given the circumstances,

- I feel preferable to the news. -

Back door's open...

But I couldn't help but feel relief,

because I didn't have to face what I had done.

Inasmuch as the word "gray" with an A

is a more acceptable American spelling,

your 14-across clue "Earl blank tea" is incorrect.

It must be spelled with an E, because it was named after Charles Grey.

You getting all this?

I am, and it's riveting.

Young lady, are you being smart?

Definitely not.

I know the timing is terrible with Dr. Evans so close to submitting

for one of our grants, but, uh,

I hope you understand...

...that the Remsen Foundation needs to start placing its money elsewhere.

I assumed.

But that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

It's been difficult to process these past few days because, um,

Calvin was my dear friend and also a lab mate.

I didn't realize.

That's why I-- I wonder if--

And I know this is a-- this is a very big "if."

I would like to carry on the work of Dr. Evans.

And not just for him,

but to try and answer these big questions that we have wrestled with for years.

Hmm.

Let me bring it back to my board.

I got you a gift.

Sorry, sir?

Open it.

All right.

I, uh-- This is, uh--

Wow, this is Zott and Evans's work on nucleotides.

No, Dr. Boryweitz.

That is Hastings's research on nucleotides,

and I would like you to reproduce the results.

I'd like to help you here, sir.