I Want My Wife Back

'We used to come here all the time.

'We were so in love.

'For ten years, everything was perfect.

'Oh, what was I thinking?

'It all started to go wrong when I got promoted.'

Bex, should I serve up?

I'm so sorry, Lisa. It's just this new job.

I'm sure he'll be here soon.

Hi, Murray.

Oh.

OK.

Would the godparents please step forward?

'Before I knew it, I was working weekends.'

Sorry.

Hi, Murray.

Oh, right.

'I even managed to miss Valentine's night.'

'I suppose sometimes you just lose sight of what's important in life.

'I really hope it's not too late.'

'This is an Edinburgh Airport security announcement.

'Please remember to keep all baggage...'

Can't remember which is which now.

It's difficult, isn't it? Huh.

I think I like this one best.

Really? Do you think that would work for a younger woman?

Well, I think so.

Sorry, er, I didn't mean to imply you weren't a...

It... it's for my wife. She's 40 today, so...

Oh, not that 40's young, but it's younger than...

How old are you? No, no. Don't feel the need to answer that.

- So, you'll take this one? - Yes, please.

Cos what is young these days, anyway?

They say 50's the new 40, don't they? 40's the new 30...

- I'm 42. - Really? Oh, well done. Yes...

Well, that's why it's, er... very helpful

to the get the advice of a 42-year-old

on what a younger woman of... 40 might like.

- Shall I put it in a bag? - Yeah, stick it in the old bag.

Yeah, that old bag, that bag. Not...

- You know, your plane leaves in five minutes? - What?! Oh!

Hi, Bex, it's me. Pick up if you're there.

No? Look, really sorry, hon.

Bit of a problem with the flight,

so I'm going to have to miss your birthday breakfast,

go straight to the office.

I know, I know, it's me making this phone call again,

but I'll see you later at home. Love you.

Ooh, er, one more thing.

I'm going to take the back route, mate.

Oh, no, no. Er, left. It'll be quicker, honestly.

Just follow the signs to Brighton.

Don't worry. I've done this route before, you know?

No, you'll hit traffic at the lights.

All right, but don't blame me!

Yeah, I'm trying to sing Happy Birthday here.

No, left! Left! Left!

'I know it's me making this phone call again, but I'm...'

"Dear... Murray...

"I'm... going... away...

".. for... for a bit."

Yes, I know it's short notice, but I thought it'd be nice

if a few of her friends and family surprised her, yeah?

Yes, tonight.

".. all my love... Bex." Hm.

Yes, it is last minute, but I missed her birthday breakfast and, er...

".. kind... regards."

"Cheers!"

I'll just put "Bex."

- Oh, Murray, thank God you're here. - Morning, Emma.

Everything OK?

Erm, a memory stick has gone missing

with loads of Pentratech's data on it,

and IT are saying that you're the last person to have it.

- Yeah, yeah. I've got it. - Y... you... What?!

I took it to Scotland with me for the investment conference.

Oh, God.

Oh, what a relief. I thought you were in real trouble there.

Everything's under control.

Oh, I want to kiss you.

- Please don't. - No. No, not here.

Not... right now.

Ah, the lift!

- Saved by the bell... of the lift. - Yes.

I love your tie, by the way.

Thanks. Yeah. Got it from Bex, my wife.

- She's 50 today, isn't she? - 40, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm actually organising a surprise birthday party for her.

Are you? Aw!

Yeah, well, she's been a bit down recently.

I think it's the big four-oh.

You know, didn't really want to celebrate at all.

The plan was for a night in with me and my famous poached salmon.

I love poached salmon. Can I have the recipe?

Yeah, but it's just... it's just sort of poached...

There we go, Barney.

- So, how many people are coming... - Well, so far... - .. to the party?

.. I've got 14, but I'm hoping for about 20 odd, so...

Oh, she doesn't deserve you, Murray.

I mean, I'm just saying she's... you know, so lucky to have you,

you going to all this effort.

A party and...

Oh, here we are. The fourth floor.

Yes, OUR floor.

My favourite floor.

Hi, Grant, about the party again, erm...

I'm not checking up on you --

I'm just seeing if you got the message.

I'm not being judgmental. I'm just...

There's no tone to my voice, Grant.

Look, if you can pick up some booze after work, that'd be great.

How could you take offence to the word great?

OK, fine. I'll pick it up myself.

No, I'm not cutting you off, I'm... Grant?!

Oh! Hello, Don!

Come here! Give your father-in-law a hug.

- Ha, ha! - Not in the office...

I bought the balloons for the party. It's a brilliant idea.

I've spoken to Gord and Aud -- they're keen to come.

Do you remember them?

They stayed with me and Paula in the villa in Turkey last year.

Excellent. Sorry about the short notice...

I thought they were going to give you a bigger office.

Ah, well, er, not yet. Has been mentioned.

I think that proposal got lost on Curtis's desk.

Well, if it's been mentioned, they should see it through!

Where is Curtis? I'll remind him myself.

- Oh, no, Don. He's... not around. - Don't let him forget.

You were Relationship Manager of the Year last year -- you deserve it.

Oh! Hello... Curtis.

- Do you remember my father-in-law, Don? - Hello, there.

Yeah, nice to... see you... again.

You know, Murray's always saying how lucky he is to have you as a boss.

But then, you're very lucky to have him.

Well, he's a very valued member of the team.

Indeed, he's a very valued member of my family.

Good. Well, I'm glad he's so valued.

Then why haven't you given him a bigger office?

Thanks for dropping by...

He was Relationship Manager of the Year last year.

Yeah, I know. I gave him the award. That's me in the photo.

Is it?

Christ, you've put on weight.

I'll see you tonight then, Don.

Yeah, all right. See you around.

You all right, mate?!

Quite a character.

It was a good game, hm...?

So, how was Edinburgh?

Oh...

Manic, as usual. Weren't you meant to be there?

Oh, er, something came up.

How was the weather?

- Oh, it was all right. Yeah. Rained in the afternoon. - OK.

OK, and what did you do after the conference?

Oh, we... we went for sushi.

Sushi. Where?

- Er... Wakimotos. - Wakimotos.

And, you were staying at the Radisson, weren't you?

Yeah, it's just... Sorry, is... is there a problem?

No, no, no, not at all.

Oh, erm, about tonight, Bex's party. Got the message.

- Tamzin's really looking forward to it. - Oh, great.

It would just be better if the whole Edinburgh thing comes up

that I was there with you enjoying the sushi in Wakimotos.

- You were with me? - Only if it comes up. - Right.

And obviously, I was with you at the, er... at the Radisson.

- Were you? - Yeah.

Thanks, mate.

It'd just be better for us if we stick to that story.

- Better? - For Tamzin.

And me.

- OK. - Great.

- My notes from the investment conference. - Thanks, honey.

Murray.

Keeley? Hi, did you get my message?

Just wondering if you're able to bring a cake?

- Cake? - Yeah, for Bex's party tonight.

- You're having a party tonight? - Yes. Yeah, yeah.

You're having a party when Bex's moving out?

Sorry, what? Oh, my God.

She's not told you she's leaving?

- N... not told me what? - Nothing.

Nothing to do with me, Murray. You heard nothing from me.

- Keeley? - God, I'm such a stupid big mouth.

Murray, promise me you won't say it was me.

Keeley, what are you on about?

Oh, God, I hate myself. I literally want to die.

Keeley? Keeley?

Hi, Murray. You wanted to see me?

- My performance review. - Oh... Hi, Nereesha.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, of course. Er... er...

Can I just say before we start,

- I know you're going to bring up my recent absenteeism. - Hm?

The thing is, the reason I've been off work so much

is because of a personal problem, which I need to talk to you about.

Oh! Er... yeah. Well, that's what I'm here for, yeah.

Thank you, Murray.

Because in the past, when I've come with personal issues,

I don't feel management have really listened.

Sorry, can you hold that thought, Nereesha. I'll be right back, sorry.