Staged

Michael?

- Michael? - David!

- You all right? - Give me a minute.

What are you doing now?

I worry that I'm in a Hitchcock film.

What do you mean?

The birds...are coming back

to Port Talbot.

That's nice.

And a large blue finch is the leader, it seems.

You all right?

Just adjusting. You all right?

- Cachu hwch! - Cachu hwch!

- Cachu hwch! - Cachu hwch!

Cachu hwch!

Total bloomin' disaster.

Look, for those of you just joining us, welcome to my house.

Welcome to my kitchen.

I've been in prison here for half a year.

I'm done with Zoom, if I'm being honest with you.

But I'm here now with two people who've actually made it work,

Michael Sheen and David Tennant.

Or should that be David Tennant and Michael Sheen?

Ah!

This is Romesh Ranganathan's 6 Months In Lockdown,

a celebration of the wonderful things that have basically got us through

this challenging period.

Michael and David are here to talk to us about their BBC show, Staged.

- Thank you for having us. - Lovely to be here.

And still with us, of course, Sir Michael Palin,

who waited for Godot in an online reading of the Beckett classic.

I meant to ask, Sir Michael, did Godot ever arrive?

No, no. We're still waiting.

OK, well, while you wait, David and Michael,

massive congratulations on the show.

- I have to say that contractually. - Thank you.

- But genuinely, I mean it. Very funny. - Thanks very much. Cheers.

First question, I guess, is what's real and what's not?

Like, is Simon that much of an idiot?

N-Nooo...

Noooo...

Michael does shout at birds.

Well, I have a bird's nest for hair, so it helps to be courteous.

But it was a television show.

It was a television show. Yes.

So, I mean, does Simon's sister own that house?

No.

Because I'm available.

No. She's an actress, I'm afraid.

I am absolutely not available.

Er, so there's no screaming in fields?

Only on a Sunday.

No production of Pirandello?

- Thank the Lord, no! - Mm.

So what, no screenplay, no novel?

No carrots, no pineapples. None of it.

It did feel real.

Well, thank you very much.

How much of it was actually improvised?

All of it.

Well, that... That does come up a lot.

Was there actually a script, then?

There were...ideas.

And then, you know, we would play around with it quite a lot.

Not...not everything made it into the cut, though.

No, there are hours of footage somewhere of us not being particularly funny.

So what gold did we lose to the cutting-room floor?

Well, there was one moment where, quite memorably,

David accused me of being a cut-price Mike Yarwood.

Right. Is that funny?

Well, no.

I don't think I actually know who Mike Yarwood is.

Ah! You see? I told you, didn't I?

- I told you! - I don't believe you.

I don't believe... He's... He's a comedy titan!

So, Romesh, this is...

You've hit the nail on the comedy head there because

most of David's contributions

were based on these sort of bizarre, obscure references.

Yeah. Well, that's why they're cut.

I'm a little too intellectual for primetime.

And not funny.

Well, at least I didn't resort to lazy Muppet impressions, did I?

There was nothing lazy about my Muppet!

I was exhausted!

Do you know who Mike Yarwood is, Sir Michael?

Yeah, I actually know Mike Yarwood.

Really? I didn't realise he was still, um...working.

Yeah. He must be 80 now. He...

...in the '70s made a Christmas special

that's still the most watched television show in British history.

- I did not know that. - Over 20 million people.

Wow.

How many did...did Staged get?

Er, Michael?

Um...

Pff, less.

- Well, let's have another clip. - Aye.

- Great. - Lovely.

And we're off. This one's a couple of minutes.

OK. Which one is it?

It's, er, cookie jar.

Mmm. We've seen them all quite a lot now.

Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I imagine Sir Michael's a step ahead there.

- Yes! - Yeah.

Sir Michael, how many dead parrots do you reckon you've seen in your time?

Oh, a few!

What is the collective noun for dead parrots?

A Norwegian blue.

A sunken fjord!

A macaw.

Er, Sir Michael, any ideas, collective noun for dead parrots?

A humiliation?

Have you guys met Sir Michael before?

- No, I don't think so, no. Yes.

Have we? Er, well, just a few times.

Er, when?

We were on Jonathan Ross together.

Oh, yes.

Huge fan, obviously. Huge fan.

Er, have you seen Staged, Sir Michael?

Yeah. Yeah, I've watched a couple.

Have you? Which ones?

The first one.

- Did you like it? - Loved it.

- Yeah! Great. - Thank goodness for that.

For what it was, you know.

And we're back.

Er, that was BBC One's lockdown comedy Staged.

David and Michael, you said the story is fictional,

- but what about your characters? - Oh...

- Total fabrication. - Nothing like us at all!

Not... Not a scintilla.

No, I mean, I don't think we're very funny in real life.

Well, I don't think you're funny. I'm funny.

Sure, obviously.

I just mean we're not... we're not comedians.

Ah, you're still young.

And I don't wear that grey hoodie every day.

No, and I am much better at taking criticism.

I'm not sure that's true.

What?!

Er... How do you deal with criticism, Sir Michael?

Oh, I lash out savagely.

- Cool. - Right...

David, you got some amazing guest stars for this.

How did you get them?

I think... What with lockdown, I think we had the advantage

that everyone was in the same boat, you know.

Everyone was sat on their sofa at home.

What, so you...? What, you just asked them?

Yeah, I think everyone was looking for a diversion.

Yeah, well, you certainly enjoy a good diversion, don't you, David?

- Oh, my Go... I love a diversion. - Yeah.

I... I live for diversion.

I mean, obviously I love being locked in the house with my wife and kids

but I...I have to stay active, yeah.

And is that the same for you, Michael?

Yes, I love being locked in the house with David's wife and kids.

- Yes, he does. - Don't we all?

Yeah...

And what's next for you guys?

I'm back to proper work, actually.

A show that I was working on before lockdown is revving back up,

- so I'm off out to South Africa. - Very nice.

We've had a couple of false starts,

but I think this is finally it and I am flying tomorrow.

Great. And, Michael? I don't do proper work any more.

So I'm off to New York to see family and friends.

Right. Travel allowing, I imagine.

Oh, no, it'll be fine. I believe...it will be fine.

Yeah, of course. Of course.

Sir Michael, do you reckon you would have done Staged if they'd asked you?

Oh, no, I couldn't have kept up!

No improvisation in Monty Python?

No, we were quite disciplined.

- Right. - You know, we just worked on it,

in the writing. Followed the script. You know.

Respected the craft.

That wasn't the Staged approach.

No!

Although, I mean, I do think some quite brave stuff

has come out of that more

- sort of improvisatory approach. - Do you?

Er, Michael, David, we've got another clip,

but first, one more question.

Er, I think you know what I'm going to ask.

Er, any chance of another series?

I mean, it was so

- specific to that moment, wasn't it? - Yeah.

It was so about being locked in your house and...

I mean, hopefully we're not going to go into another lockdown.

- Well, exactly. - But...

But having said that, if there was a way of doing it...

- Yeah. - ...for me, it would definitely be a yes.

I mean, it was a joy to do, so, I mean...

It was such good fun, yeah.

OK. So I'm going to take that as a really waffley yes.

Yeah, I suppose so.

It's a great big Welsh waffley yes from me.