Bad Hair Day

Okay.

Let's do this.

Oh.

We have a winner.

Monica, it's prom!

How can you still be in bed?

I know, I was up till 2:30 doing my hair poll.

Which style won?

The side-do.

I knew it!

All is right with my universe.

I'm tracking way ahead in the prom queen election.

And everything's set.

Date. Dress. Shoes.

And as of last night, hair.

What? What is it?

How did this happen?

It was fine when I went to bed!

It's like...

all crispy.

Okay. Bacon-crispy? Or dried-leaf-crispy?

I just broke it.

I just broke off a piece of my hair.

So, bacon-crispy.

Hold on.

Do not add heat or curl.

Do not mix with other products.

Do not leave on overnight.

I did all of these things!

Okay. How many products did you use?

The site was getting all this traffic,

so I just kept trying new styles.

My dress, my dress, my dress,

with the one that got the most votes ever last week...

The one that was like, plastic?

It's like melted.

What the...?

Everyone voted for the little ones.

So I put them in these shoe expander things.

Think, Monica, think.

These are just material objects.

They can be repaired.

I just need to do a little bit of research.

Okay.

What? No!

This is impossible.

What? What now?

The prom queen election tracking software I made,

I'm now in a dead heat with Ashley Mendlebach.

If she wins, evil will triumph.

Our school will be plunged into eternal darkness.

This day cannot possibly get worse.

Stay on the line.

Hello?

Hello. Monica Reeves?

Speaking...?

This is the Department of Motor Vehicles

calling to schedule your driver's test.

Yes! Finally!

Our first available is April 11th...

That was 2 weeks ago.

Of next year.

Next year?

Are you kidding me?

Budget cuts.

Well, but...I'll be in college next year.

I have to get my license this summer!

Don't you have anything sooner?

I have 2 p.m. today.

Can you do 2 p.m. today?

'Cause nobody else can.

Apparently, it's prom or something.

No. Not today.

I can't do today.

Next year it is then.

Fine. I'll take today.

Just show up 10 minutes

before your scheduled appointment.

Bye-bye.

Yeah. Now I have to take my driver's test today too.

I have to figure all this out.

- I'll call you back. - 'K bye.

What do you mean, you can't? You're my boyfriend.

And this constitutes emergency boyfriend duty.

I just need a ride! The salon,

some shops, the DMV...

I'm volunteering at the group home

and the orphans, babe,

they count on me.

So just call a taxi.

But that would cost like $200.

I barely have enough to cover my salon appointment.

You'll figure it out.

You always do.

I'll see you tonight, okay?

I'm super-stoked.

Me too.

Stoked...

super-ly.

Morning, honey.

Look, I'm a tech nerd too.

I finally figured out

that picture posting stuff you do.

I put up a shot of me at the hospital.

You can re-twit it to all your peoples.

Whoa!

New hairstyle.

Love it.

Not intentional, Dad.

My universe has been destroyed.

Everything I've set for prom is ruined.

My hair's crispy.

My dress is melted.

My shoes have exploded...

Don't worry.

We'll work something out.

I'll call in sick.

Wait, aren't you working at the ER today?

Yeah. So...

You can't call in sick.

You're a nurse.

People are counting on you to be,

you know, kept alive.

I'll be okay. You sure?

Yeah! I'm sure.

High five.

I don't want to push you.

But it is the week,

so you have to make a choice.

I get why you're leaning towards State.

I went to State.

It's a fine school.

A fun school.

But you've been given--

A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I know.

Can we, maybe, talk about this later?

Yeah. If you need anything today just call me up

or, yo, text me up.

Just text. No up.

No up.

No up.

Dad, is this a bedpan?

Pretty dope, huh?

It's hopeless. I'm stranded here.

Okay. I can try and pick you up on my ten-speed.

Yeah.

That's a terrible idea.

Yeah.

Okay. What is that?

Oh.

This, I found it in a pawn shop actually.

13 bucks.

Pretty awesome, eh?

It's the one part of my outfit that isn't ruined.

Did you ever have people vote on it?

No. I actually just really liked it.

What? Do you not like it?

Who's that?

I don't know.

I'll call you later.

Okay, bye.

Come on.

Good morning.

Good morning.

I'm Officer Liz McRogersburger.

FBI, Special Criminal Investigation Unit.

Dayton County Bureau.

Is this about the Gottlieb twins

blowing up the Abrahamians' lawn gnome?

Because I told Mrs. Abrahamian I did not see anything.

No, no, no, this has nothing to do with Abraham

or his decorative gardenware, ma'am.

I just need to ask you a few questions

and then I'll be out of your...

hair.

Stay here.

Well, I--

You're with the FBI?

That's right.

The American FBI?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Is my Russian accent throwing you off?

Yes, yes, it would be the American FBI.

Can I please come in?

Oh, do you have a warrant?

Not technically--

Then no.

Okay, wow.

You're cautious.

I respect that.

Okay, let's get to work.

Tell me what you know about this.

Never seen it before.

I'm gonna need you to think harder.

You see, it's a felony to lie to a federal agent.

Actually, it's not.

It's only a crime to lie under oath in a court of law.

Lying to a federal officer? Just impolite.

Also, you're not a federal officer.