Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown

Happy New Year.

Huh? Early Christmas.

Oh, my gosh.

This is from Albert.

We have a request from the audience.

'Twas the week before Christmas when all through the house

not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Actually, that's not true at all.

Metro Manila, bustling, sprawling, Southeast Asian

capital of the Philippines, home to somewhere between

12 to 20 million people, the world's

most densely populated city.

A twinkly, festive wonderland where the mostly

Catholic population take their holiday season

very seriously.

Hello.

Merry Christmas.

Because Filipinos are, for reasons

I have yet to figure out, probably the most giving

of all people on the planet.

Hello.

Think I'm talking shit?

Keep watching.

Whoo. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go.

Good afternoon, everyone.

We're the band called Keystone.

Bye-bye.

OFW stands for Overseas Filipino Worker, and they are one

of the Philippine's largest and most important exports:

people.

Go abroad. Make money.

Improve the quality of life for the whole family.

All over the world, the Philippines sends

architects, doctors, construction workers, nurses,

housekeepers, nannies.

The entire Filipino economy relies heavily

on the money sent back by more than 10 million OFWs,

roughly 30 billion U.S. dollars a year, or about 10%

of the nation's GDP.

Until recently, after domestic workers,

the largest category of OFWs were musicians.

Like Filipino cover bands.

They're everywhere, on cruise ships, in hotel lobbies,

bars, and, of course, in Manila,

where the competition is fierce and the penalties

for not getting a beloved biker favorite,

like, I don't know, Billy Idol, can be severe.

Know this, pampered rock and roll stars,

at any given moment, somewhere in the Philippines,

there is at least one person, and probably many more,

who can step in and do your act better than you

and after only a couple of hours practice.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hi, ma'am. Jolly afternoon.

It is true that I lied to my daughter and tell her that

Ronald McDonald has been implicated in the disappearance

of small children, that I sneer at fast food,

revile it at every opportunity.

But I am also a hypocrite, because to me,

Filipino chain, Jollibee, is the wackiest,

jolliest place on Earth.

Thank you.

Hi, sir.

Hello. Hi.

Jolly afternoon.

Could I have a Jolly Spaghetti

with the hotdogs on it, right?

Yes, sir.

Okay. Also Chicken Joy.

Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

Jolly afternoon.

Welcome to Jollibee.

There are over 900 of these things all over the 7,000-plus

Philippine islands and a whole lot more internationally

wherever there are homesick Filipinos.

There's a Jollibee in New Jersey, by the way.

I hate mascots.

Hi, ma'am.

Jolly afternoon.

You know they fart in those suits.

Oh, yeah, chicken and spaghetti, and not just any spaghetti.

I think it's, like, sweet, banana, ketchup-y

stuff with hotdogs.

The spaghetti is deranged, yet strangely alluring.

Oh, it's not a burger.

It's rice.

Do I eat it in a piece?

Do I pour sinister brown sauce?

I don't know what it's for.

Oh, that's awesome.

That's what you do with the brown stuff.

Ugh, I hate myself.

Hi, ma'am. Jolly afternoon.

Did I mention it's Christmas?

The 7,000-plus islands that make up the Philippines

rank number one, according to internet scienticians,

when it comes to celebrating the jolliest time of year.

Holiday cheer begins a full hundred days

before the 25th of December, which means there's a lot

to do in this town, especially if you like crashing

other people's parties.

All right.

Let the party start.

Welcome to the Seven Continents Travel & Tours'

corporate Christmas party, held in the fabulous

banquet room of the downtown Pearl Garden Hotel.

Outstanding.

So cheers.

Cheers.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Very Catholic country?

- Very Catholic country. - Yeah.

About 80-something percent.

Christmas starts in September.

Really? September?

It starts in September.

You go to the mall.

You start hearing their carols, and then it ends after-

I would lose my mind.

Yeah. So at 12:00 midnight of September 1, everyone greets

"Merry Christmas" on Facebook.

Yes.

It's a lechón on the menu, I believe?

Yeah.

I have very fond memories of the last time

I had lechón in the Philippines.

In fact, not to kiss your ass, but it is the finest...

Pig.

Pig I've ever had.

Amazing.

Providing these babies to holiday parties is big business,

and standards here, where pork is king and the lechón

the best in the world, very, very high.

Today our little friends prepared the old-school way:

turned slowly, slowly on a spit over coals for hours.

Oh, delicious, delicious lechón.

You know, during this time of the year, there's a lot

of Christmas parties.

And the lechón is always the star of the party.

They gauge how grand the party is by the presence

of the lechón.

So if you have two lechóns, you must be a big shot.

Man, that is good pig.

So, like, I... my name is Jimmy Belleza.

I'm the HR Director.

Whoo.

And I'm also the happiness guru of the Philippines!

So we have to be happy, this is the season to be jolly!

Your taste of Christmas.

As we all know, one must at a holiday party,

drink, then get drunk and tell off the boss.

This, I expected and was prepared to do, but the games,