Teachers

It's 7:45 a.m. It's Monday morning.

That means it's time to...

Wake up with Wendy!

Today I'm reporting live from Fillmore Elementary

with fourth grade teacher

and five-time Local School Council teacher representative

Brent Duffy!

Happy to be here, Wendy.

You know, every time I do your show,

- you look five years younger. - Ooh.

Pretty soon I'm gonna be talking to a little baby.

- Come here. - Aah! Oh, I love him.

It's not even 8:00 a.m., and he's hitting on her.

Last year he gave me a hug and full-on squeezed my tee-tas.

Did you report him for sexual harassment?

Naw, dude. He said "honk honk" when he did it,

so I knew he was joking.

You know, he reminds me of someone.

Every year I've served, I've learned more about our schools.

And there she is.

Well said. So, what are your plans for the district?

Mm, great question.

So ineffective. For five years,

he's been promising to enhance professional development,

but he never does it.

The only thing he's enhanced is his hairline.

I want to make this district better,

because it can be better.

Back off!

And since you're currently running unopposed,

that means you're gonna be a guest on this show

- a lot this year. - Looking forward to it.

- It's great. It's great. - I'm running too.

- Oh, who are you? - I am Chelsea Snap.

Actor, model, spokesperson,

and teacher here at Fillmore,

and I would like to officially announce

that I am also running for LSC rep.

And then my boring week was blessed

with the most magnificent train wreck of all.

- Folks, we've got a race. - Sorry.

- - All right. Excuse me.

Don't post this without a filter.

You guys, I have basically become a celebrity.

I should've started caring about the community years ago.

I could never go into politics.

Men aren't attracted to women in power.

It makes them uncomfortable.

I don't know, Damien loves it when I handcuff him

and grind my stiletto into his cojones.

Chelsea, who are you going to ask

to be your LSC campaign manager?

- I don't care. - Oh my gosh.

Did everyone hear that? She chose me!

This is so exciting!

We've never had a female representative.

If you're elected, you could finally get us

some relevant technology training.

Yes. That is going on my platform.

I need to learn Photoshop for higher quality selfies anyway.

Yeah. And the Anti-Bullying Club needs money.

- The bullies took it all. - Done.

Chelsea, this is important,

but I got to know your stance on snack time

before I vote for you.

We should have more of it?

Finally.

Okay, people. We need to move if we want to beat Brent.

The election is in four days.

I'm gonna start with some door-to-door canvassing.

I do it all the time with my church.

I've converted tens of people.

Hi-dee ho!

Have you accepted Chelsea Snap into your life

as your LSC representative?

Not interested.

Hello.

I'm visiting with my neighbors today with the hopes

of sharing the good word of Chelsea Snap.

Take me off your list.

- Shh, quiet. -

- Hello? - She's here...

I'd like to talk to you about letting Chelsea Snap

into your heart and life!

I know you're in there, Sandra.

Oh, Mr. Cross. Hi.

Do you have a moment to talk

about the good word of Chelsea Snap

and all that she has to offer?

Hey, Mrs. Jones. Is that your little sister?

Ahh.

Oh, Chelsea Snap.

You know, I never imagined I'd be running

against somebody so hot.

Thank you, Brent. Now if you'll excuse me,

I'm on my way to the district offices

to file my candidacy paperwork.

May I offer you a ride?

Fine. But just know

our relationship is strictly professional.

I am taking this election very seriously.

Of course.

Morning, Tommy.

'Sup, T-Bone?

They are here. Wow.

The buttons are perfect.

Okay, I filed my paperwork last night.

I am an official candidate.

Chelsea, seriously? You're supposed to be

- campaigning today. -

Sit down so I can fix your sex hair.

Great idea. All right, we've got the bake sale today.

It's a great opportunity to talk to voters.

Where are we, people?

I talked to my bro-bro Pauly.

He's gonna tag "Vote for Snap" on some high-profile overpasses

in exchange for some drug-free pee-pee.

I've got your social media site set up.

You have one follower FartMeister1000.

So far, he's only commented with "U ugly,"

but I think we can turn him.

I picked up the posters I designed from the printer.

You made me a lesbian?

It's inspired by Rosie the Riveter.

She's an iconic feminist image.

She has fat elbows.

Just blow up my Barbizon headshot.

Oh, Caroline, what are you doing with my hair?

I'm trying to distract people from who you are as a person.

Vote for Snap.

My phone won't stop autocorrecting.

I don't love big ducks.

I thought we agreed no sexting at the bake sale.

Mrs. Chan! Hello.

Chelsea, this is Mrs. Chan.

Her twins are in the first grade here at Fillmore

and she's the president of the parent group

Two Million Moms.

Wow.

That is a lot of moms.

So nice to meet you, Mrs. Chan.

So, our petition to take inappropriate literature

out of our libraries has really been gathering steam.

I hope you'll sign.

Of course.

"The Little Engine That Could"?

Yeah. It's incredibly phallic.

Entering all those tunnels?

Thank you.

What the hell did I just sign?

She's got a point about that train.

I just realized what the caboose is.

- Is this your phone? - Yes, it is.

There is a penis on it!

- Give me that back. - What kind of woman

keeps porn on her phone?

Okay, hey, everybody calm down.

That's not porn. That's my penis.

- Oh. - Excuse me?

Oh, yeah, Chelsea and I have a consensual sexual relationship.

I sent her that pic.

You disgust me.

It's gonna be a great year.

Wait. What?

- - Oh!

Okay, last night's gaff was not ideal,

but on the bright side, your new posters are perfect.

The bigger I get, the better I look.

I put one above my bed.

It was so nice waking up to this morning.

Moving on.

Today after school is the Fillmore car wash fundraiser.

I've signed you up to volunteer... holy cannoli.

Oh, my God. Is that a dick on my face?

Wouldn't be the first time.

Sweet Uncle Jesse.

Looks like word is getting out that you're a slut.

- Excuse me? - Maybe you should've

thought twice before you distracted Brent

from doing his job.

Brent and I slept with each other.

Stop dragging Brent into this.

- Okay, you're clearly bananas. - It's not just me, Chelsea.

There are other morally respectable people out there

who will disapprove of your loose ways.

I just have to tell them about you

on my blog!

- - She has a blog?

On the Internet?

People, we are under attack.

'Sup, dudes?

This is what's "'sup."

Someone drew dicks all over my posters.

You sure you didn't just send the wrong picture

to the printers?

Wait a minute.

If they think you're a slut,

and we hang out with you,

then what are they saying about the rest of us?

Why can't they just forgive you