Young & Hungry

Good morning.

No, great morning.

Ooh! Look at you all cheery!

Did you have whiskey in your coffee too?

Uh, so do you remember when Josh told me that

I should start dating again and I was really sad?

Well, I'm not anymore. You wanna know why?

One moment.

Ah. Okay, lay it on me.

Well, because I'm back on the market, Yolanda.

I signed up for this new dating app

called "What's Cookin'?" for single foodies like me,

and 48 guys already sent me a hot pepper.

Ooh!

Show me the biggest one.

No. Yolanda, a hot pepper is like a wink, and I got tons of 'em.

Oh, I get it. That's how you know they wanna get jalapeño business.

Exactly, and that's when I realized enough about Josh.

There are a million Joshes in the sea!

See?

Ooh, he's cute.

His name's Conrad. He's six-one, he has a successful clothing business,

and he's taking me to a new tapas bar tonight.

A topless bar on the first date?!

No. Tapas.

Conrad is looking for commitment, unlike other people who live in this penthouse.

Ladies, by midnight tonight, we are all gonna be filthy rich!

Uh-oh. What'd you do?

Everyone at Soul Spin was talking about

the Mega Ball Jackpot, and the drawing's tonight,

so I thought should all go in on a ticket.

Oh, I'm sorry, but according

to my gamblers anonymous rules, I'm not allowed to participate.

Well, it's up to $500 million.

Well, good thing it's anonymous!

Are you doing the Mega Ball? I'm in.

I'll take number three.

That's how many months before Alan and I go broke.

They raised the rent on the karaoke bar and he lost the lease.

Oh, my God! What is he gonna do?

- That's what I asked. - Does he have any other skills?

That’s what I asked.

Poor Alan. Is he okay?

That's what I didn't ask.

No wonder he's mad at me!

Oh, my God, I am so loving today.

I am so over Josh, I have a really hot date tonight,

and we're gonna win the lottery.

It's blue skies and sunshine from here on out.

Oh. You hear that, people? That's the winds of change a'blowin'.

What are you doing?

I am de-Kaminski-ing our apartment.

Anything Josh has given me, I am throwing away.

Oh, like this electric fork that automatically twirls your spaghetti up.

I love that fork.

- Well, get over it! It's gone! - (clank)

So do I look cute for my date? Like hot pepper cute?

You look amazing, but, uh... didn't Josh buy you that jacket?

Oh, good catch!

And, uh, what about the car he bought ya?

Let's not go crazy.

Hey, what's all that for?

Well, Elliot and Yolanda are coming over tonight

to watch the Mega Ball Lottery numbers being drawn,

and I just bought our winning ticket.

Oh, that's right! Hey, what time are we becoming millionaires?

I, uh, might invite Conrad back with me to watch.

Uh, no, no. What if you win?

Then you'll never know if he likes you for you of your money.

- (knocking) - Oh, my God, it's him.

All right, have fun. I'm gonna go put on a sports bra

so when we win and I jump up and down, my boobs don't go flyin'!

- Hi. - Hi, I'm Conrad.

And wow, do you look better than your picture.

Oh, thank you.

I'm really excited to go to that tapas bar you were talking about.

Oh, it just started to rain. You better put on a jacket.

Oh. Okay. Thanks.

Trust me...

it's the only time I'll be asking you to put on clothes.

So, Josh, in our last appointment,

we talked about you letting Gabi start dating.

How'd that go?

I guess it went fine. I don't feel great about it.

I mean, I want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy with me.

Is it hot in here?

That's your follow-up question at 300 bucks an hour?

- Josh? - Hm?

Are you staring at me?

No.

- Mm-mm. - It's not a crime to look at my body.

Is it a crime to touch it? (chuckles) I'm kidding! I am so kidding.

- Which part would you like to touch? - Can I pick two?

What's happening?

What is happening?

This is so happening.

Oh, God.

Josh!

Oh... Oh, my God.

Oh, it was a dream.

Well, speaking of dreams, you made mine come true.

Thank you so much for letting me redo your office.

What?

Wait, you mean Elliot didn't tell you

about how they raised the rent on my karaoke bar,

"Me Sing? I Could Never. Okay."

And now I'm pursuing my passion for interior design,

which my first project is to redo your office

for a reasonable, yet generous fee?

Uh... no.

Oy, I can't believe that man.

This is so embarrassing. I'm horrified...

like you must be every time you walk into this hellhole of an office.

You okay?

Alan... have you ever been in therapy?

Please. I'm Jewish, gay, and I witnessed a murder.

Better question is have I ever been out of therapy.

Okay. I want to talk to you about something,

but you have to promise not to say anything to anyone.

Nothing leaves this room...

other than those hideous leather football helmets, God willing.

Okay, so...

The dream I was having, was a sex dream...

about my therapist.

Seriously? That's nothing to worry about.

I've had sex dreams about my mother, my rabbi, you,

and that was all in one dream.

Yeah, but the whole point of me going to therapy was to fix my

commitment issues with Gabi.

Gabi's the one I want. I don't want to start falling for Dr. Rounds.

Oh, bubala please.

You're not falling for her. It's called transference.

Your feelings for Gabi are being projected onto your doctor.

It's all part of the process.

- It is? - Yes.

It's totally natural.

Unlike this laminate flooring, which, hello, you're a millionaire.

So what do I do about it?

This is the whole reason you're paying a therapist.

You have to tell her about your dream.

- Oh, it's so embarrassing. - Joshua.

Fine, I'll tell her.

And anything you want to tell me?

You're hired.

What? Me design? I could never. Okay.

Gabi, tonight was amazing.

You're amazing. I'm amazing.

Yes, so many things are amazing.

- Well, good night. - (chuckles)

I know what that's code for.

"Break me off a piece of that Conrad."

No. No codes here. Good night.

Hey, hey, hey!

What are you doin'?

Coming in for a "drink."

And just so you know, I'm not one of those guys who ditches right after.

I'm a primo cuddler.

You'll find that out soon, Little Spoon.

Ew. Enough, okay?

I've been trying to be nice, but you're gross. You need to leave.

Wait, you're rejecting me?

You used the wrong spelling of "your" twice in your profile,

but I still thought, "Hey, let's give the cute, dumb girl a chance."

Me dumb? You dumb!

That soup you sent back for being too cold was gazpacho!

You're not a foodie at all!

I bet you just go on every dating website there is.

Uh, yeah. It's called a numbers game, dummy.

- See you never! - See you never-er!

Oh, my God, I could scream!

- What? What? What? What?! - We just won!

Oh, my God, we won $500 million?

No! We only got five of the numbers!

So why are we jumping?!

Because we still won $500,000!

Oh, my God! I should have worn a sports bra too.

So where's the ticket? Get the freaking ticket!

Relax, okay? It's right... here.

Oh, my God, oh, my God...

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

- What, what, what? - I put the ticket in the jean jacket

and now the jacket's not here!

The jacket's not here!

The look on your faces right now is so great

because what happened was I was going on my date with Conrad

and I borrowed Sofia's jean jacket instead,

and that's why I'm wearing it... a-right... a-now.

I'm not wearing it, am I?

Okay, Conrad's still not picking up and his voice mail's full.

And he's not answering because he hates you.

I hate you. Everybody hates you. This is all your fault.

Okay, yes, I left the jacket in his car.

But in my defense, who hides a lottery ticket in a jacket?

Who wears a jean jacket on a first date, Reba?

Hey! It was raining!

I just found the u-ugliest jacket I could find!

Oh, "ugly"? "Ugly"? Let me tell you something

- about ugly, you jacket thief! - No, let me tell you something about...

Stop it, you cackling bitches!

Listen, this is not my fault, okay?