Autumn in New York

Sorry. Are you alright? I'm getting my radar fixed Monday.

- You live in New York? - I do.

- Lynn! There you are! I didn't see you there. - You are shameless.

- That woman was 6 months pregnant. - Which is the reason I flirted with her.

It made her day. It made her feel really good.

- So, it was out of compassion, right? - I m working on it.

- Good. What about the other woman? - Blind.

- Blind. - Blind... like love.

So what about tonight? Am I going to see you? Should I come to the restaurant?

Tonight's not good. It's... so busy tonight. I don't think so.

- Maybe I'll come by and surprise you. - I don't like surprises actually, no.

Come on!

I m looking to see the Chilean Sea Bass.

- It's not on the sideboard? - No. I see no Bass.

I m gonna kill that son-of-a-bitch! Fakir! Did you move my fish?

I m talking to you. Did you move my fish?

Could it be this one lying here disguised as an Artic Char?

Artic Char! The other son-of-a-bitch, Glucksman, who calls himself the fish man.

- Boss, I m getting pissed. - I validate that emotion. Netto, Problem!

- Yes, boss. - Bouillabaisse?

- In there 20 minutes. - This pot is empty.

- This pot is bouillabaisse-less. - Fakir! What did I tell you?

- You got a minute, boss? - Yeah. Where'd it go?

- Taste it. - Tumeric.

- No tumeric! - How much? Three or four?

- Four. - You're right. Perfect. Congratulations!

Excuse me? I m here to meet Will.

Of course.

I know, I got it, I got it.

What happened to Lynn?

I believe I baked that cake.

Light up the oven. There's a fresh bowl of batter at the door.

I m an easy-going guy, right?

I m good to my staff. I treat them well. Is that a mistake?

Because, an occasion, one of them has stepped over the line and said very...

familiar things about my private life. - If I didn't feel like...

I was leading these poor women to the slaughter one after the other...

I could build a shute to keep a count by the front door.

- So, warning you has no effect? - No. It's like a Greek tragedy, isn't it?

OK guys, I've got bad news. I m kicking you out...

so other people may eat. Here are your checks.

The good news is the bar drinks are on me. Tommy?

- You got it. - Thanks.

Lady, what am I gonna do with you? You're killing me.

- Us? Come on! - How about I set you up out on the patio?

- Out on the patio? - Before my bartender leaves his wife.

- I was divorcing her anyway. - Restrain yourself, Tommy.

Eriko...

- Are you too busy? - It's frantic tonight, a madhouse.

- Can you bear with me 2 minutes? - Sure.

Alright, I'll be back.

We got the heat going now. Billy? The heat's gonna be up all the way around?

I got this and the champagne is coming in any second.

Happy Birthday to you...

Happy Birthday to you...

Happy Birthday dear Charlotte...

Happy Birthday to you...

Everything okay? I'll come back later.

- Finally. I m sorry. You alright? - Is that Will Keane? It sure is.

He hasn't changed a bit. What did you do, make a deal with the devil?

- I m sorry, do... - Come on. It s Dolores Talridge.

- Dolly? I can't believe it... - Be careful of the cocktail.

- Oh my God... - I know.

- Time has kicked my ass a little. - No, don't be silly. You look wonderful.

Will... spare me the bullshit.

Honey, are you feeling alright? You look sort of sea foam green.

I m fine. It s him.

- He's how old? - Who cares?

lf he's rich as well, you might have a fight on your hands.

I want you all to meet an old chum of mine. He's irresistible.

He's Will Keane. And he owns this overpriced establishment.

Overpriced? I can't believe you'd say... Where else are you gonna find a beet salad...

for under 35 bucks? - I loved the Chilean Sea Bass. I'm Shannon.

- Shannon. Thank you. - I m Simon.

- Hi Simon. - Nice to meet you.

Me too. May I ask whose birthday this is?

The birthday girl happens to be my granddaughter, Charlotte.

It s not Katie's daughter?

You bet. She's got Katie's eyes, hasn't she?

And talent! Forget about it.

Do you know that this kid made from scratch all these crazy hats?

- They're great. - Then she got serious with mine.

- Pretty sassy, isn't it? - Very elegant.

- Isn't it divine? - You're not kidding about this?

Have I ever lied to you?

No, it's wonderful. Really wonderful work.

Do you speak?

- Thank you. - So, you're Katie's daughter.

- So that makes you about... - Twenty-two and never been kissed.

No, I don't buy that. Happy Birthday, Charlotte.

- Thank you. - Great to see you again, Dolly.

- Great to see you, Will. - Go right in there. There you go.

- Great seeing you. Bye. - Be still my beating heart.

- Or, is that yours? - I think it's mine.

He's cute but he's a little old for Charlotte.

- He's simply fabulous. - How do you know him?

From Newport. He's an old friend of your Mom's.

Thanks, Melissa. Good night.

When Will Keane comps 3 bottles of Crystal to an underage girl, I know what'll happen.

She's not underage. She's 22.

- I know her grandmother. - Tell me you're not gonna date her.

The grandmother? I promise I m never touching that woman.

You know what's wrong with people like you? Too much sex. It melts the brain.

- Here we go. - No worry about that around our house.

I m on your side. I m the good guy.

I m sorry. I melt at least 3 times a week.

- Is he lucky I m off the market or what? - They wouldn't even look at him.

- You hear? They wouldn't look at you. - You're going to do this, aren't you?

What is it with you two?

Will you give me some credit?

I smile at this girl, she bushes from head to toe. Why would I do this?

Knock it off. You'd kill to be in his place.

- Okay bitch, I m ready. - Not me!

- Can we start with "good-morning"? - My God, I m so sorry. Who is this?

Guess.

- You? - I guess.

- Who'd you think it was? - My friend, Simon.

He always call me the morning after to... dish.

- Do you want to talk to my grandmother? - No, I was calling you.

- You were? - I got this little problem.

I thought you could help me out. I got a Benefit coming up. One of those...

black tie worthy cause, lousy food kind of thing.

And I was wondering... I'd like you to make a hat... for me. Actually, not for me, it's for my date.

I don't wear hats, except to Yankee games.

The problem is that I don't know her hat size and I don't want to ask her...

because it's a surprise. - Was it that woman you were with last night?

No.

Cause she had an abnormally small head.

It might account for the limited conversation.

I could always put in an adjustable band.

- That's perfect. Wonderful. - It is risky doing it this way.

You can do it. Life rewards the courageous few. You can do this.

Can you give me a point of inspiration?

- Like what? - Like an image. This hat is like...

Like the line of a woman's hip.

- Okay. - When can I have it?

- Let's say... two weeks. - Great!

- I'll give you till Thursday, 4 o'clock. - Okay. Wow.

One other thing...

- you say "wow" an awful lot. - I know.

You're a grown-up now.

- When is that going to stop? - Soon.

- I'll see you Thursday. - Okay. Bye.

Wow.

- Mikey, how you doing? - I can't complain.

You're early, aren't you?

In this soup, you're better safe than sorry.

- Will Keane? - Visitor.

He's going to a fancy party tonight.

He's up on twenty-four. I'll key the elevator for you.

Tony, this was not an ace Parmesan from Froman's...

Tony, this was more like a pepperino from Scarsdale...

I know the difference!

It s a different price.

- You're late. - I know.

I m so sorry. I tried to get a cab and couldn't. I took the subway and...

Yeah, yeah, it's alright.

What's the point of being young and beautiful if it's not to keep men waiting.

In fact...

I m disappointed. I was looking forward to at least another half-hour of suspense.

- I could leave and come back. - Too late.

So, whaddya got?

- Try it on. - I m soaked.

It s alright. Go ahead. Try it on.

You have to imagine it on your friend.

Is it the line of a woman's hip?

- Is it? - Yes.

- What a shame. - Why?

- She stood me up. - Who?

My date. She called an hour ago; said she had a cold.

It sounded more like the hiccups to me.

- So, you mean you're not going to go? - Alone? No, no...

Unless...

What?

No... no...

- Wait, no... wait... - No. Forget it.

No wait, what were you going to say?

I don't know. I don't know.

You wouldn't want to go, would you?

Great. Forget it. Thanks.

Thank you very much.

It's just...

- You've got the hiccups! - Are you kidding? I'd go in a heartbeat.

- You're fabulous! - Yeah?

Oh dear...

- It must be me. - Must be.

- Do you think I m too old for you? - No, I collect antiques.

Or I aspire to.

We appreciate it.

I would love to go, but I m a disaster.

I think with a little plaster and a little paint, you're as good as new.

Do you wanna see the dress?

There's a dress?

If you need me for anything, I'll be in the back.

I m curious. What made you choose my restaurant for your party?

I had to pick a place for my party. I read that article about you.

- The magazine! - The magazine.

- It's so embarrassing. - No. I liked it.

You don't dance. You float.

That's from my dad.