Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare

My name's Kirat.

I'm keeping you company until six o'clock today.

What happened to me is just one big crazy story.

You can't even make it up.

I had a busy social life in London.

I was very focused on my career.

I'll probably wait a few minutes before I get round to answering your call.

But one day, I get a friend request from Bobby that changes my life forever.

If I'm going to do a message to the man of my dreams,

I should really sort my face out.

I never thought I would be in an online relationship.

I love you from the bottom of my heart.

So many people told me he genuinely loves me.

How was I fooled by them?

What I wouldn't give to hold you.

I love you so much.

What was a lie?

I've been waiting every day for you to come.

What was the truth?

I never doubted the person that he really is.

I needed Bobby to see me face-to-face.

Can we go right back to the start?

Tell me about the first time you meet Bobby.

I first met Bobby in 2011...

...in the city on the south coast of England called Brighton.

I was out for my friend's hen weekend.

I was 32, in a long-term relationship.

All my friends are getting married, and I just felt,

"When's it gonna be my turn?"

I want to dance, let off steam, have a good laugh on the dance floor.

But then I see this tall man in a turban.

I'd been talking to him online for the last few months.

His name's Bobby Jandu.

I'm just, like, shouting, "Bobby! Bobby!"

And he was like, "Yes."

It was like... He's acknowledged it was him.

And I'm like, "It's Kirat."

And he's like, "Who?" And I was like, "Kirat. From Facebook."

"We've been talking."

But the music was loud, and I was like,

"Maybe he can't hear me properly, and he's drinking."

So, I just assumed, like, he was a bit smashed.

So I was like, "Do you know, I don't want to embarrass him."

And I remember going back and saying,

"I can't believe I've just bumped into him in Brighton."

I never mentioned it to Bobby until many years later.

I just thought it wasn't a big deal.

I'm born and raised in West London.

I've lived here all my life.

I'm a Punjabi Sikh woman.

My parents are born in Kenya.

And the Kenyan South Asian Sikh community is very small, very tight.

And everyone knows everyone's business.

Bobby started messaging me about four months

before I met him in Brighton.

I didn't automatically add people on Facebook because they talked to me.

But we became friends on Facebook because we had mutual connections.

Bobby's younger brother, JJ, was dating my baby cousin, Simran.

They were both teenagers, and I was giving them advice.

I've always tried to be there for all my cousins.

Bobby comes from a well-respected family in the Kenyan community.

He has quite a hoity-toity kind of lifestyle.

A well-to-do lifestyle.

He's happily married.

He's based between Kenya and the UK.

And he's a cardiology consultant.

He was working all the time.

But around 2011, I also had a lot going on.

If you wanna be big, you need to get out there and perform.

I was progressing with my marketing career.

I was doing huge events.

Festivals, music events. Giving emerging artists a stage.

Over that period of time, Bobby and I became good friends online.

I've got lots of male friends.

And Bobby and I seemed to have a shared sense of being responsible people

within our own circles.

But after a while, things started to go wrong in Bobby's life.

His wife cheated on him.

All I can do is be a shoulder for him.

But because he's sharing so much,

I ended up sharing a bit about my own relationship as well.

I was 32, and me and my partner had been together on and off since I was 18.

But as soon as we got close to getting married,

he'd just get cold feet.

He'd disappear for a year.

And then, as soon as I kind of tried to move on, he would reappear.

And I would always go back to him because it was, like, that whole loyalty,

that whole... how I'd been brought up.

Marriage is a big deal in our culture.

From a very young age, I dreamed of getting married

and having a family early.

That's what matters to me more than anything else.

There's a picture of me as I think I was two.

My auntie dressed me up in my mum's wedding outfit.

That's their hopes and dreams as well.

Marriage is important. I've always said, "Kirat, look, you have to get married."

And every parent wishes to be a grandparent, you know?

She had quite a number of proposals,

as soon as she came back from uni, and she always declined.

It's not that we haven't helped.

It's for her to make up her mind.

I want to make sure she's happy.

But if the girl does not get married, I think you're looked down upon.

And, erm, I think she feels pressure from the community,

from the friends, from the families,

when they think, "Oh my God. Why is she still not married?"

Kirat is my cousin, but really, I think of her as my older sister.

Just someone that you can go to for advice.

Not just me, but all of the cousins.

I've been with Kirat when she's received comments, sort of,

"Have you found someone yet?"

Or, "Do you need us to find you someone?"

A couple of weddings, I've been at the kids' table.

I would vent my frustrations with Bobby.

Bobby was the person saying,

"No, you're fine. There's nothing wrong with you."

Over the next few months, I didn't hear from Bobby.

And obviously, I just thought, after his divorce,

he's getting on with his life.

And then he messages me out of the blue.

He's like, "Hey. I've got something to tell you."

So...

Her name's Sanj.

I cannot imagine being happier than I am with you.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Will you be my wife?

Is that a yes?

I was concerned that it was a rebound

because it happened within a year of breaking up with his ex.

But he seemed happy,

and as long as he was happy, then who was I to say anything?

Bobby wanted me to meet Sanj and get to know her.

And we became friends on Facebook.

I am invited to the wedding.

And due to family circumstances at that time, I just couldn't go.

They got married in Kenya in December 2012.

As time goes on, I stay in touch with them.

The sounds of the 5 Rivers. That is Desi Radio on 1602 AM.

Thursday is radio day.

My show is called the Bhangra Roadshow.

My name's Kirat. I'm keeping you company until six o'clock.

...020 854 173.

I'll probably wait a few minutes before I get round to your calls,

but I promise you, I will do my very best to do so because all these people...

I'm doing my show.

Hello, Desi Radio.

And I've got Facebook open 'cause people message me. They shout out.

Okay, ji . Bye.

On my Facebook Feed,

Sanj has posted a photo of Bobby with a comment,

saying Bobby's been shot several times in Kenya.

He's in a critical condition, and he's in a coma.

I feel sick seeing something like that.

And I was so worried about him.

But I've got a show I need to finish. I've got listeners that I'm talking to,

and I've still got to carry on and get through the show.

I'm fearing the worst.

Thankfully, my cousin Simran is in Kenya as well.

Simran and Bobby's family were old family friends,

so they were quite close.

She was providing me updates, so that was helpful.

Bobby's in a serious condition.

All I can do is pray that he makes it through.

My daughter Roshni and I had popped round Kirat's house.

You could tell that she was quite upset, and I said, "Are you okay?"

And she said, "No. Bobby's been shot."

It was just absolutely mental.

Like, so many questions shoot through your head.

You're like, "Is he okay? What's gonna happen now?"

I gave her a hug, and she just let it all out.

She was crying, and it was then that I realized

that even though their friendship was on Facebook only,

it obviously was a very deep friendship.

I'd been friends with Bobby for three years.

It's just sad that I hadn't got to meet him again

before all this happened.

And then, one day, I'm at work.

I get a call from Simran...

...that changes everything.

Absolutely everything.

She tells me Bobby's in witness protection

in a hospital in New York,

recovering from his awful injuries.

Witness protection?

New York?

What is going on?

I didn't understand.

Ever wonder what happens when you disappear in plain sight

with the help of the federal government?

Apparently, he was escorted from Nairobi to New York with the support of Interpol.

It's a program shrouded in secrecy,

run by the US Marshals Service.

Witnesses in danger are protected, relocated, and given new identities.

It's just something like out of a movie

and quite a hard thing to get your head around.

I understood for someone to be in witness protection,

there had to be some kind of threat to life.

Bobby's from a well-known family,

and some of the photos and things that I've seen online show wealth,

which is why he might be targeted.