The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle

45 street.

Here son.

- Castle? - It's right.

9.50.

- Cash. - Oh, cash.

Wait there.

Mr. Fields, can I trouble you for 10 dollars advance on my next week's salary?

You'll never have a next week's salary, you already spent it last week.

Mr. Fields, if my next week's salary can make a beautiful lady happy this week...

my duty to spend it, thanks.

- Here son, keep the change. - Oh, thanks.

Say Vernon, if those flowers are for Miss Ford, you're aiming too high.

I'm having supper with her after the show.

But you haven't got the right ammunition.

- The what? - Spondoodles, mazuma.

Something that you second comics never have.

Oh, but someday I'll be the first comic, after you of course.

- Oh, thanks. - I'm sure you wrong about Miss Ford.

A lot of fellas have been wrong about Miss Ford, and you're next.

Look out, she trifles with men's hearts.

Well, let her trifle with mine, I'm not doing anything important with it.

- Addie. - Yes Miss Ford.

Be ready to dress me immediately after finale.

I'm having supper at Rector's with Mr. Vanderpool.

Miss Ford.

- You're on next Mr. Castle. - All right John.

- Will you wear this tonight? - Tonight?

- Yes, remember our supper date. - Oh, of course, I remember.

But Vernon my head is simply splitting and I should be in bed this minute.

- You will forgive me darling. - How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

Sunday? Well, I'm going to the beach at New Rochelle with my mother.

But suppose I meet you in front of the Club House?

Yeah well, if it's all right with Mother, so sorry about tonight.

Well, what did I tell you?

Mr. Fields, could you bag me for a round trip ticket to New Rochelle.

Hello pup, who are you? Well?

- Mr. Castle, Mr. Castle. - Yes, over here.

- You waiting for Miss Ford? - Miss Claire Ford, yes.

She just phoned, said tell Mr. Castle her head was still splitting.

Oh, I see too bad.

Lots of other ladies sitting around here Mr. Castle.

I dare say, thanks.

Have you seen a dog around here?

- Yes, where is he? - Who is that fella?

Come on, get up you.

- Oh, you poor little thing, Walter... - I'm coming Sailor.

- Isn't he your dog? - Isn't he yours?

- I never saw him until a moment ago. - Well, it must belong to somebody.

- Walter, take the dog into the boat. - I don't like the look of this Miss Irene.

Take the dog.

Drowning that dog to get acquainted, some of these whippersnappers go pretty far.

- I beg your pardon. - Don't mind Walter.

- You all right? - Yes.

Climb in.

- Do you all right? - Yes.

- Goodbye. - Walter, let the gentleman into the boat.

That's exactly what you want to do, ain't it?

No, no. I'm quite comfortable, thank you.

Oh, please get in.

Thank you very much.

You are wonderful to jump in to rescue a little stray dog.

- I'm very keen on dogs. - Me too.

I keep a sort of boarding house for wandering dogs in my dressing room.

- Dressing room? - Yes, in the theater.

In the theater?

- Do you an actor? - Well, yes.

- You're not the only actor in this boat. - You act?

Me? No, I just work for the family.

- You? - Hi.

She's a genius.

Oh, Walter practically raised me and he's sort of prejudice.

- What show you with? - I...

She played the fairy queen in Miss Dodd's Seminary's Annual Entertainment.

- Oh, amateur shows. - Dances like a sun beam.

- What's your name? - My name is Castle.

My name is Foote.

My name will be mud when I try to explain this to your mother.

- Why don't you start the motor? - Because it's broke, that's why.

- Looks all right. - Looks broke.

Irene was just 3 then, don't you love the flowers?

- And this is when she was 7. - Very fetching.

The next one is Pinafore, being English yourself Mr. Castle, I know you'll like it.

She was in a school production when she was 10, you remember Hubert?

Eh? Oh yes.

- Well, here's our dog. - Our dog?

I asked all around the neighborhood and nobody...

claims him so Sailor said she wants to keep him.

- Well, he's very sweet. - Here boy, here boy.

- What train you figure on making? - The 5:30.

I figure the 4:30.

Oh, look...

How nice, Irene is going to do a rendition for you.

- For me? - Yes.

She's never had an opportunity to do it for a professional audience before.

I think I'll go out and work in the garden a bit.

Hubert, you stay right here.

- I think my clothes must be dry by now. - You sit here sir.

Ladies and gentlemen, an imitation of Miss Bessie McCoy doing her famous number,

The Yama Yama Man, thank you.

- Mr. Castle, she may be a little nervous. - I'm a little nervous myself.

Bravo.

- You did very nicely dear. - Thank you.

Well sir?

That was fine. Yes sir, that certainly was fine.

Thanks very much.

Do you really mean it or you're just saying it?

No really, I mean you gave it quite a professional touch, here and there.

- Here and there? - I mean everywhere, was very nice.

Now, if you'll excuse me, you see my train...

Oh, I see.

I'm sorry, I wish I can stay and see it again.

- But I'm afraid... - Do you afraid to see it again?

- Not at all. - You mean you don't want to see it again?

Now Walter, what the young man means is...

Hubert, let Mr. Castle decide.

I really would like to see it again, but I...

- You mean you would like to see it again? - No Walter, he didn't say that.

- The young man said... - No, he didn't.

Please, I would like to see it again, except...

- that my train... - No trouble at all.

Now Walter, not unless Mr. Castle wants to.

- I knew he didn't. - I do.

Well, all right.

There's a possibility you may catch the 8:15.

I understand every one of your criticisms, except for one you sort of mumble.

Oh, that one.

- Well, what does ham mean? - That's just an expression.

Well, what does it mean?

In the theater we speak of certain actors as hams.

Well, that makes me feel so professional, am I, am I a real ham?

- Well, yes you're a little ham. - Oh, wonderful.

And after the way you ran.

- Come on. - Come on.

Go it Vernon.

Why didn't you tell me you can dance like that? You're marvelous.

Thanks.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

All aboard. Go ahead, kiss her. Next Sunday is a long way off.

Next Sunday? Oh yeah.

All aboard, hurry up bashful.

- Oh Irene, I can hardly wait. - Does he dance soon?

Oh, here he is.

You see he's in the next scene and he plays with the star.

The Barber, Lew Fields. The Customer, Vernon Castle.

- My aunt once knew an opera singer. - Did she?

- Wait till you see Vernon dance. - Isn't it wicked? I mean knowing an actor.

- He's coming down the stairs now. - Are you sure?

Leave him to me, leave him to me.

I'll show him for insulting my daughter.

- Say something. - I wonder...

That's real ham comedy.

- What did you say? - Ham.

Where?

There, you're looking at two of the best right down there.

- Done it again Vernon. - Yeah.

- You were great today Vernon. - Oh thanks, thanks very much.

Oh, hello.

Have been out front?

How you liked?

You were terrible.

Oh, so Miss Irene Foote, actress of New Rochelle thinks I'm terrible.

Oh, thanks very much for taking the trouble to come back and tell me so.

You could be a perfectly wonderful dancer if you wanted to.

Instead you waste your talent letting people set fire to you.

Takes talent to make people laugh and I like being set fire to.

- Well, I won't have you doing it. - Oh, you won't.

Say, what makes you so excited about me?

You have something no comedian will ever have and you're wasting it.

What other reason could there be?

Oh, I don't know, girls...

especially young girls sometimes gets crushes on actors.

Oh?

- Oh, I didn't... - You called me a ham.

Well, you're a ham with mustard. Oh, I know what it means.

And if you think I had personal interest in

coming back here, you're very much mistaken.

Wait a minute, please.

Don't think I'll annoy you with my intentions Mr. Castle.

Just go on, be funny with soap on your face and get to be a first comedian.

I thought you could be a first dancer, a very beautiful first dancer.

Because you are a beautiful dancer but you're so...

smug and conceited that you can't see any further than your funny nose.

There.

You expecting someone Sailor?

Can't a person sit in their own front yard on a Sunday without expecting somebody.

I knew he's a fly by night. I knew it the minute I seen him.

- Who? - The fella you're not expecting.

Hello there.