Ballers

Jesus, this thing's a fucking aircraft carrier.

I've seen bigger.

Maybe we should chopper in some strippers, huh?

Amp up the party.

Listen, I gotta ask you something before we go on here.

When you told me the old man didn't want to hire me,

did you mean that or were you fucking with me?

Spence, don't develop a complex about it, okay?

- I just want to know. - No, no, he loves you.

Believe me, he's a big fan.

I just did that to, you know, rile you up.

- Stoke your fire a little. - Well, you stoked the fuck out of it.

Okay, then I did great.

Hey, ahoy there.

Come on. Come on board.

What, do you guys got sunstroke?

Take off your shoes. Put 'em in the thing.

First time on a yacht?

First time on one this sweet, boss.

Yeah, must be all the excitement.

She is a work of art, isn't she?

Custom-built, kind of like your suit.

Good to see you. You remember Spencer.

Mr. Anderson. Thanks for seeing us.

- Yeah, the football guy. - Right.

Not as big as I thought you'd be.

So, did you guys bring me anything?

Or did you come here to, you know, polish my vessel?

We've decided to make a push.

We're gonna hold a corporate event,

bring more high-income athletes to the company.

It's about fucking time. And you,

I thought we lost you to the NFL Network or something.

Nah, not my style.

We just signed Vernon Littlefield.

That deal's gonna be huge. He's a very popular guy around the league.

Ricky Jarret, man-about-town, a lot of friends.

Really? Like who?

- Uh... - Well, like me.

So between those two and my connections,

we can establish a very unique brand and grow the company.

Can I ask you something? Why am I just hearing about this

as opposed to, you know, seeing the results?

We need to use your yacht.

What?

We need to use your yacht.

My baby?

My pride and joy?

Ask me if you can fuck my wife.

You got a better shot. Are you out of your minds?

Look, Mr. Anderson, we rented a house on Star Island.

A great house. We're pulling out all the stops.

Mr. Anderson, the players love the bling.

Your baby here, this beauty fits that description to a T.

You want to see results, this is what it takes.

They like the bling.

- I can trust you with my bling? - Oh, absolutely.

This event is strictly corporate.

You have our word.

Not my Js.

Not my Js. Not my Js.

Not my Js. Oh, God, y'all got jokes.

Y'all got jokes. Oh, look at this.

My cell phone, too?

Oh, wow, y'all put my stuff in the cold tub.

That shit is hilar...

Oh, y'all, shit's hilarious. Y'all got me.

Y'all got... Y'all got me.

Y'all got me.

Fuck with my Js now, punk!

Fuck your bitch-ass Js.

Bitch-ass Js for a bitch-ass nigga.

You don't fuck with me.

Is the banner really necessary?

Not for you, maybe.

- You feeling all right? - Yeah, I feel great.

Just wasn't sure if anyone would show.

Shit, girl, everyone shows up for Spencer Strasmore.

Look at all these potential clients.

You looking at the ass or the athletes?

Are there athletes here?

And here comes our guest of honor.

And Spencer say we spend too much? Fuck him.

Reg, come on with the negativity.

Man, look around.

You ever dream we'd be in a place like this?

I never thought we'd live past 19.

We a long way from home.

This is home.

Let's go have some cocktails.

Let's do it. Let's go, bro.

Then the ball got stripped.

I was the first one on it. Felt like a building came down on me.

I thought I was gonna pass out.

They were using every trick in the book to get that ball away, Coach.

You get the nut pull or the eye gouge?

I got both... nut pull and the eye gouge.

I had a guy try to spit in my face once.

I damn near tore his lip off.

- Fish hook, fish hook. - I remember that game.

Well, this nasty bastard tried to go knuckles deep in my ass.

- Ooh! - Oil check!

Oil check.

We don't want you guys living paycheck to paycheck.

You know, nothing saved up for the off season.

You remember the lockout, right, Beas?

- Yeah, shit was rough, man. - Oh, shit.

Too much free time, no money coming in.

Truth is... here's the truth. You want the truth?

The money you guys are making right now,

it's not gonna last unless you save and invest.

Yeah, down the hatch.

So I'm thinking if you guys...

Okay, go mingle. I'll catch up with you guys.

Uh...

oh, hey, I got Molly!

Ooh!

- Legs. - Hey, superstar.

If you heard the story I just told, you wouldn't be trying to go back door on me.

- Yeah, fingerbanged at the 50 in Cleveland. You remembered.

Well, it's sort of your go-to story at parties.

- It's charming. - Come here.

- Mwah. You look beautiful. - Thank you.

This is a big day for you.

It's a modest business gathering.

Mm-hmm, you've got half of Miami's sports elite filing in.

- How are you holding up? - Good.

You pop any vikes to take the edge off?

I'm straight, clean, having a good time.

Oh, I see, so you're still doing that thing

where you look all macked out, but on the inside

your brain is going crazy.

Well, it's been a month since you bailed.

- Oh, I bailed? Wow. - And I have grown.

- You've... really? - Yes.

So you're totally cool right now?

Totally cool. As a moose.

Even with the whole Ricky thing?

He got in a scrap with Alonzo Cooley at OTAs.

Young buck probably heard his footsteps coming.

I don't know. A little birdie told me

there might be something more to it than that.

Are you gonna chase the birdie?

And lose my cred with the team? Not a chance.

But the story is floating around

and if it goes public, he'll have to finish his career in Saskatchewan.

Have you ever been to Saskatchewan?

What up?

- No, I haven't. - It fucking blows, Spence.

Yo, yo, Spence. What up, man?

Vern, my man.

- How you doin'? - Good to see you, man.

Thank you, fellas, for coming.

Hey, man, my fault I couldn't get back at you this week.

I just been training like a madman.

No problem, brother. You're looking yoked. Look at this.

Look at this shit. You know. Come on.

Look at this shit, man.

Hey, man, look, you and Reg, y'all need to get on the same page.

So play nice, both of y'all. Come on.

All right, Reg.

We, uh... we got off to a rocky start

and it's partly my fault.

No, it's all your fault.

I understand why you might feel that way.

- I just wanted... - 'Cause that's how it is, man.

Like you never thought to ask what my plans for Vernon's future are.

Or how I want to build his brand,

make him a fixture in the community.

Be the face of the franchise.

You never see me as anything but some thug

taking his best friend for a ride, which I'm not.

Reg, I ain't making this shit up.

Vernon has zero cash. That happened on your watch.

I never claimed accounting was my forte.

But you, Spencer, you pretend to be something you ain't.

Playing easy breezy everyman

when deep down inside, you a straight hustler like the rest.

Enjoy your party. I know I will.

Hi, Vernon. Your best friend's a douchebag.

All right, last time you get a plus one. Fuck him.

What up, Chuck?

Hey, what's happening, Vern?

Man, hoping to get this new deal.

I don't want to fuck with that free agency next year, man.

- Huh. - You know how that is.

Yeah.

Hey, how's retirement treating you, though?

Oh, man, it's good. Yeah, it's good.

You know, every day better than the one before.

You hate it.

It's terrible.

I mean, I had a great career, Vern.

Super Bowl champion. Eight-time Pro Bowl.

Got a comfortable home, good job,

fine-ass wife that I always wanna smash.

Plus I hung it up unscathed.

I should be happy.

But still, on the field I was number 71.

Charles Greane. You understand what I'm saying?