The Squid and the Whale

Mom and me versus you and Dad.

Long.

That looked pretty good.

It was out.

It did look good.

Frank, it was out.

It's my call. Out.

If you can, try and hit it at your mother's backhand.

It's pretty weak.

Got it.

Yes!

Don't gloat, Walt.

Five games to three, us.

Fuck!

Come on, Bernard.

Bernard, don't curse.

I'm cursing at myself.

- Nice shot. - Thanks.

Walt, watch out.

It's part of the game, Mom.

Fifteen-love.

Ow!

Joan, I'm sorry. It was an accident.

You gotta get a second serve.

Frank.

Did you just put that peanut up your nose?

Cashew. Yes.

Pickle, that is such an idiotic, stupid thing to do.

No, it's out.

I got it.

We're reading A Tale of Two Cities in English.

Is that any good?

It's minor Dickens.

Popular in schools.

But I think David Copperfield or Great Expectations

is much richer.

What is it about high school that you read

all the worst books by good writers?

You should read it yourself and see what you think of it.

I don't wanna waste my time.

What are you doing?

Just fixing up the couch.

Did you sleep there?

Yeah, our bed is hurting my back.

Isn't the couch worse than the bed?

For backs?

No. This is better.

When does Mom's story come out in the magazine?

It's not a magazine. It's a literary journal.

Next month, I think.

It'll be weird having two writers as parents.

Yeah, well, Dad influenced her.

She never wrote before she met him.

I haven't read any of Dad's books.

I've looked at them. They're great.

They're very dense.

I think he needs a new agent.

It's been too long since his last book.

But the publishing world isn't receptive always to real

literary talent.

Maybe Mom will be famous instead.

No, Dad's the writer.

Maybe Mom's better.

That's way off base, Frank. That's way off base.

Ivan hit with Arthur Ashe once.

Wasn't he ranked, like, 402 or something?

Ivan could've been a champion if he

hadn't hurt his knee.

Okay, my brother, let's see some groundstrokes.

You gotta ease up, my brother.

I mean, Jimmy Connors hits as hard as he can,

but we can't all get away with that, right?

All right, let's see the backhand.

Two hands. Two hands.

Hey, my brother.

Who taught you these junkyard strokes, huh?

My Dad.

He's self-taught.

I heard that.

Hey, Bernard.

You teaching my brother here these junkyard chip shots?

A one-handed backhand is an elegant stroke.

My brother here doesn't want a weak chip shot

for a backhand.

I don't care.

It's McEnroe's stroke.

He's the master of the chip game.

All right, fellas, that's it for today.

Ivan, you wanna hit a little?

I got a few minutes.

Frank, you and Carl hang out.

Give me your racquet.

Are you interested in any arts?

I wouldn't mind being a pro.

It's very hard to be a professional player.

As good as even Ivan is, he's not in a league with

McEnroe or Connors.

Oh, I don't mean a pro like that.

I mean, like a pro at the bubble.

Like Ivan.

You don't wanna be a pro.

I'm sure I've lost my parking space.

We're gonna have to drive around.

- Can you drop me off? - No.

I picked you up, the least you can do is

ride around with me.

Terrific, honeys.

Walt, did you write that song?

Yes.

Frank had some good ideas too.

Very dense. Very interesting.

Yeah.

I signed up for the talent thing they have at school.

Great.

Just make sure you practice a lot.

Mom, I'll be fine.

Just remember, you're gonna be in front of a lot of people.

Don't ruin the whole thing for me.

You'll win.

And if you don't win, something's wrong with them.

Which is probably the case, actually.

People can be very stupid.

I'll get it.

Walt, you wanna come to my class tomorrow after school?

Yeah.

Could I come?

You have tennis.

You're gonna be doing that, which is its own thing.

Look how young Dad looks.

That's funny.

Dad, can I have this?

Okay.

Would you write something in it?

Thanks.

I absorb sex indiscriminately, numb and impartial.

I suck men of their interiors.

A fuck that unites John, Dan, Scott, whomever

in the popular lust and paternal hunt for my possession.

He was a large man, though his arms were thin.

The upper part soft, but not fleshy.

Like a young woman's.

He had long, delicate fingers and plump palms similar

to a raccoon's.

With what is best described as finesse, he plied the meat

from a crab claw and sucked oysters from their shells."

She's a very risky writer, Lili.

Very racy.

I mean, exhibiting her cunt in that fashion is very racy.

Lili has her influences in postmodern literature,

a bit derivative of Kafka.

But for a student, very racy.

Did you get that it was her cunt?

Oh, yeah.

Did you like it?

Yeah. A lot.

You'd like Kafka, one of my predecessors.

Particularly The Metamorphosis.

Metamorphosis?

No fucking spaces.

I'll keep you company while we look.

Thank you.

Dad, what were your wives like before Mom?

Wife, really.

The first one was annulled.

I was 19.

What was she like?

The annulled one?

No, the one you'd call a wife.

Difficult.

That's Mom.

Yeah, that's Mom.

What was she wearing?

No, I guess I've seen that before.

What are you writing?

I'm working on the Peugeot story.

Did you take my

Some of it.

Does he still die?

Yeah.

Then you didn't take my note.

Uh, boys, make sure you come home right after school.

Why?

We're having a family conference.

What's that?

A talk.

Just come home.

What about?

We'll go over it tonight.

Can't you give us a hint?

No, just... Tonight.

We'll go... Everything... We'll go over it tonight.

Just waiting for your mother.

Mom.

Sorry.

Okay.

Okay. All set?

Yes.

Okay.

Your mom and I...

Okay, yeah.