Welcome Mr. President! (Benvenuto Presidente!)

There's a country in the world that is hard to place.

It's the furthest south of the northern ones

or the furthest north of the southern ones.

It's the poorest of the rich or the richest of the poor.

It's both modern and backward.

Very backward at times.

It has got seas and mountains,

sun and fog.

Maybe it doesn't exist or maybe it's yet to be invented.

Here, in this small mountain village

lives a man blessed by success.

Well, more or less...

He's just a temporary librarian but he's an idol for the idle

because he transforms books into plays.

Who's playing Renzo ?

Renzo looks at Lucia and says: "Will you marry me ?"

Yes, my darling, I'll be yours forever.

Luckily he's Renzo, so look at him.

Also because I'm Don Rodrigo !

But at the best part

Peppino, it's late, we have to go.

It's was 3:00 a minute ago, we were having fun.

"The Betrothed" are almost ready. On Monday we'll begin "Moby Dick".

We need... Who wants to be the White Whale ?

Ivana, no offence meant... Have you got a white dress ?

It's always me ! First Madam Mim, now Moby Dick...

Until the authorities arrived. - Hello Peppino.

Councillor !

This is not joking matter, I've got bad news.

- Cuts are being made. - So what's new ? That's all you do !

You made cuts on heating, on toilet paper,

our most modern books are "The Odyssey" and "The Constitution".

- What else will you cut ? - The library's closing.

What ?

- The regional council said so. - Talk to them.

- They blame the cuts on Rome. - What do they say in Rome ?

It's Europe, it's Europe

We have to keep telling people that Europe is making the cuts, or...

Filthy swine !

Jerk !

- What did I do ? - Aren't you a politician ?

Yes.

Europe wants technicians,

Italy wants new faces.

Doctor, my son is ashamed to say that I work in Parliament.

He told his schoolmates I run a nightclub.

All right, that's all for today.

That's 1 00 euros, do you want a receipt ?

Of course,

write "office supplies for the Ministry", as usual.

- Good morning, sir. - To oppose this political apathy...

- Good morning, dear colleagues. - This is a crisis committee.

We were supposed to elect the President of the Republic in May.

It'll snow soon and you're still opposing.

- Us ? It was them ! - Us ? They're to blame !

Us ?

We want to reach an agreement

in a serene and harmonious way.

A serene and harmonious way.

You total dickhead !

Go to hell...

Idiot, come here !

You must tell everyone, got it ?

At the next election we're voting De Gasperi, okay ?

Sir, I think he's dead, or ill.

I'm sure.

Idiot, it's a sign to tell the right that we'll move to the centre,

open up to the left and join those from the north.

An agreement has not been reached for the election of the President

but people are wondering how De Gasperi got 1 8 votes,

Totti 4 and Mr Blobby 1 2.

I didn't interrupt you, I'm talking...

I'm talking so don't interrupt me ! - Please, one at a time !

Try not to talk over each other.

I won't be president of the club, too much responsibility.

I'm a fishing man, I caught 37 this month !

Three, I caught the rest !

Nonsense, Luciano !

- Dad... - Piero.

- It's official. - What is ?

- You're a failure. - Why ?

You're divorced, you had a shit job and you lost it,

you drive a turquoise FIAT 1 27...

Why are you cooking for these beggars ?

Remember what grandpa used to say ?

Everything that goes around comes around.

Wake up, there's global competition,

time to steal food from the Chinese !

If you want food, just ask. Morato, the bread !

Here it is !

You see ? No Chinese involved !

I want to give you a great opportunity, take it.

Join me with Gymbo, you're old but I'll vouch for you.

Dad, I made 1 ,850 euros this month

plus the undeclared income, I'll make 2,500.

And I've still got the beggars to go.

No, don't pitch to them !

- Shut up and cook. - It's the Carp Diem lunch.

Ladies and gentlemen !

I've known you since I was a kid, and one thing is certain,

you don't live or eat well.

You're unhappy with your bodies and minds.

- No... - But here's the solution: Gymbo Gym.

And your body becomes a gym !

Gymbo One, defines your biceps !

Gymbo Two, triceps and inner thighs.

Gymbo Three, lats and flexor muscles.

For 4,000 euros I'll give you 200 pieces to sell.

It's the Gymbo utopia, anyone can be a top manager !

We have to send a message to the north and warn the east.

Colleagues, there's nothing else to say,

we have to give a clear signal to the right.

To frighten the centre, we must send a strong signal to the left.

Vote for a united Italy.

Who shall we vote ? Any damn name.

Garibaldi ?

Garibaldi !

Garibaldi could be an idea.

The elected President of the Republic of Italy is...

Giuseppe Garibaldi.

All three of us will be out of a job.

We have to end this farce and elect a real president.

You think that's easy ?

The vote cannot be annulled.

- Why not ? - Says who ?

The general secretary of the presidency, whose deputy I am.

There are four Giuseppe Garibaldis,

one is 22, one is a Swiss citizen,

one is an ex-con, one is over 50 and is in good standing.

By law he is the president.

So we elected some random person as president ?

Until he renounces in person, yes,

but right now his phone's off.

It appears he's gone fishing.

- Fishing... - For trouts.

I've been a good father, haven't I ?

Even after the divorce, I tried to set a good example,

to instill values... but he became a "Gymbo Jerk" !

Are you listening ?

You know what it's like to have a son that doesn't share your values ?

Of course, all my three daughters are on diets !

I've got one !

It must be two or three kilos !

Of course, it's a submarine...

Look !

You giant, come here !

Grab it !

What a beauty ! Get the net !

Here, what a beauty !

Come here !

Who is Giuseppe Garibaldi ?

Me, but call me Peppino, my surname agitates me.

Is this a spot check ? My license is up to date.

Oh, the trout ?

I was throwing it back in.

Listen...

you have to come to Rome with us, now.

- Did I win that raffle ? - There's been a mistake, you...

You've been elected...

- How can we say... - You've been elected President...

How did we screw up like this ?

Yes, president of the Carp Diem fishing club.

I've already renounced, too much responsibility, paperwork...

No, you've been elected...

President of the Italian Republic.

Luciano, this is your best prank ever !

I get it, you're the politicians' doubles.

You really look like them, apart from him, he's uglier.

Captain !

- General Cavallo. - Big dick !

President...

They've found a Neapolitan general !

The bodyguards too !

Peppino, this isn't a prank.

- You have to turn the job down. - Or NATO will protest,

Germany will isolate us, bonds will fluctuate

and you'd be the ruin of this country.

Nonsense, I was just fishing !

But... if I have to renounce, then I will.

But first, I have a request.

Come with us, please.

- Luciano ? - Leave him here.

- This way. - The trout...

We'll get you a trout in Rome.

Let's go.

Peppino !

Trout.

What is your request ?

Yes, maybe you already know, I'm a librarian,

so what I'd really like...

To be the director of the National Library.

The National Library ? Aren't there prerequisites ?

You'd prefer a lyric theatre ?

The Verona Film Festival ?

- You mean Venice. - Whatever, same thing.

Think about the actresses...

So it's true you're dishonest.

Dishonest... when negotiating, you start from the bottom, you know.

I get it, you're a clever man.

Let's forget culture and talk real business.